Desires
by dah-ela
Summary: Blaine's father dies leavin his mother alone with bills 'n kids. He doesn't know if he'll ever be able to truly be himself again 'til he meets a boy who lives on the edge, follows no ones rules, 'n wakes up a part he forgot he had. He's everything Blaine has ever wanted. But to make everything worst, he appears to be the same for Blaine's twin sister. [Anderberry]
1. Summary, Notes and Warnings

**Full Summary:**

When Blaine Anderberry's father dies leaving his mother alone with bills and kids, Blaine knows things are going to be tough for his family, but he never thinks they'll be forced to pick up everything and move in with his grandparents again. Blaine's entire life is snatched from beneath his feet and turned into something entirely new. He's thrust into a world of expectations and judgement and is forced to put and act of someone who is okay when in reality he's not. Blaine doesn't know if he'll ever be able to truly be himself again until he meets Kurt Hummel, a boy who lives on the edge, follows no ones rules, and wakes up a part Blaine forgot he had. Kurt is everything Blaine has ever wanted, everything he needs, but to make everything worst, he appears to be the same for Blaine's twin sister as well. And Rachel always gets everything she wants, even if someone else wants it too.

 **Disclaimer:**

This is a work of fiction and any similarity to reality is a dreadful accident. All rights reserved to the author, artist and this publication. This is solely a not-for-profit fan activity, and in no way intends to infringe on copyrights held by 20th Century Fox Television, Brad Falchuk Teley-Vision and Ryan Murphy Productions

 **Notes and Warnings:**

 _I have some working memory aka short-term memory issues due my epilepsy so my spelling is not the best._

Anderberry twins

Blainetana

Kurttana

Bram

Hummelberry

Eventual Klaine

Pretending

Popular!Rachel

Misfit!Blaine

BadBoy!Kurt

Extreme Bullying

Minor Character Death


	2. Chapter 1

**Blaine's POV**

I sat in the backseat of my mom's minivan with my little brother in my lap sleeping soundly. The radio in the car was on but my mom's music wasn't really my taste so I had my headphones in and watched as trees flew by. The music comforted me and came in as a handy excuse for when I ignored my mother, but it wasn't a shield. It didn't block me from what I was really trying to shut out.

Just six months ago my father had been killed in amugging and died before he even made to the hospital. I understood there wasn't anything we could have done to save him and everyone told me a million times he was still with us, but that was all a load of bull. My dad was dead and nothing was the same anymore. Everything I'd once known, all of the fun I used to have, was gone and replaced with a grey cloud that promised nothing but more struggles and pain. I tried to step up and become the man of the house but It was hard when everyone in my family ran from emotions and feelings as if they were the plague. No one talked about my father anymore, it was as if I never had a father to begin with, and as much as it was killing me inside to treat him like nothing but a sad memory and pretend everything was fine with me, I knew I couldn't bring it up. My mother was hanging on by a stre¡ing and if I added any more weight to her shoulders that string would break.

I couldn't loose my mother too.

I felt something hit me on the knee and looked up to see my twin sister Rachel, turned in her seat and facing me. She gestured for me to take the plugs from my ears and I did so, raising my eyebrows in question. "We're here", she mumbled. I looked ot the window and sure enough my mom was turning into the driveway of one of the most gorgeous and biggest houses I'd ever seen. My grandparents' house.

Money was.

They were waiting for us with their buttler on the front steps of their house, huge smile on their faces as if they had invited us to come to live with them on their own accord, not because my mother called crying and begging for help practically threatening suicide if she couldn't find a roof to put over her kid's heads. I couldn't help but taste bile in the back of my mouth.

"Remember kids we need this, so be on your best behavior," my mother said as she waved through the window at her parents. Her smile never reached her eyes and the entire act looked painful for her. Rachel and my mother hoped out of the car with smiles on their faces and ran up to my grandparents with their arms out and ready for a hug. I hesitated. I wasn't good at pretending. It was hard enough pretending my father's death wasn't affecting me the way it ws, now I had to live with two more people I had to pretend around. I sighed and slowly got out of the car so as not to wake my little brother. I didn't liked the situation we'd gotten ourselves into and if my father was still alive I would have said so a long time ago, but my father wasn't alive. He was dead. Now it was time for me to step up and be the man of the house, and that meant putting myself last.

"Come on Coop, time to step into the gates of hell"

"So, Pamela sweethert, when were you intending for the kids to start school?" My gradmother asked with a wide smile. We were eating dinner and I sat between Rachel and Cooper shuffling my food around on my plate. Dinner was made by their personal chef. It probably tasted delicious but it only reminded me of how selfish my grandparents were. They had money for a butler and a personal chef, but couldn't lend my mother seventy-five dollars when she needed to pay the gas bill?

I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Um I hadn't thought about it yet. I wanted to get them settled first before I sent them to a new school", my mom responded.

"Oh nonsense, Charlotte and I have already found a perfect school that will be willing to accept them as early as Monday morning. It's a wonderful school with a great educational system but, even better, it's a performing arts school! You kids are artistic aren't you?

 _If you would have drug your fat ass to one of the recitals my mom invited you too you would know now wouldn't you Gramps?_

Before I got the chance to speak my twin answered with the same warm smile my mom had been forcing since we got here. "That sounds great! Yes we are. Blaine is a fantastic artist and I love performin. Thank you so much for thinking of us like that."

 _They're not thinking of us they're thinking of themselves. They just don't want two teenagers lazing around their perfect house all day and messing with their routine of spray tanning, playing tennis, and pretending they don't actually have a daughter who needed them._

"Oh it's nothing, what are grandparents for after all?" My grandmother chuckled. She glanced at me and I stuffed my mouth with food so I wouldn't have to smile.

Fucking bitch.

The rest of dinner was spent talking about our new lives in Chicago, how happy my grandparents were to have us here, _yeah right_ , how they'd found my mother a job working as an accountant, how amazing our new school was going to be, and how wonderful their life had been these past few years. My father never came up. It's not loke they came to the funeral, the least they could have done was say sorry for your loss.

Desert was offered but I excused myself from the dinner table, telling everyone I wwasn't feeling well and was going to head to sleep. When the butler James showed me to my rrom I mumbled a thanks and stepped inside and shut the door behind me and locked it. I kicked my shoes off and collapsed onto the bed with a loud groan. I wanted to scream. I wanted someone to hear me scream and ask me what was wrong.

I wanted my dad.

I felt a knot forming in my throat and quickly closed my eyes to keep myself from crying. Within minutes I was asleep and dreaming of what used to be.


	3. Chapter 2

**Blaine's POV**

The 'amazing' school my grandparents had so kindly enrolled us in started at seven thirty wich meant Rachel and I had to wake up around six Monday morning. Well, Rachel came into my room telling me to wake uo around six, I didn't actually move from my bed until six fifty two when my grandfather came in lecturing me about promptness and respect and blah blah blah. I jumped out of bed into shower then quuickly changed into a pair of jeans, a polo shirt and a bowtie. It was my favorite bowtie, a gift from my dad, I wished to have him hre with me but this bowtie is the only thing I have left.

When I got downstairs Rachel sat at the kitchen table with my gradmother talking over a plate of fruit and drinking tea in an actual teacup. Rachel's hair was curled and pushed to one side, her make up was done flawlessly, and she wore a fitted navy blue tank, a cardigan, a high waisted black skirt, tights, and heels. Rachel was my twin and we got along well enough, but we were complete opposites. Rachel cared about appearances and what people thought of her and she always did her best to impress no matter who it was. She could be arrogant and a bit spoiled, but she was passionate about things she cared about and let anyone see her stumble. With Rachel you either hated her or you wanted to be her, a lot of times it was the latter, but not for me.

"Blaine, how nice of you to finally join us," my grandmother said when she seen me walk in. I sent her an apologetic smile and she looked me over and pursed her lips in a tight line, wich I took as disapproval. "Come come, we'll ve late to school if we don't leave now."

"Where's my mom and Cooper?" I asked, grabbing a slice of toast from the table as I followed her towards the car where the butler was now actig as the driver.

"They went ahead with your grandfather to look at the daycare Cooper will be attending."

"Let me guess, you picked that one too." I grumbled. Rachel elbowed me in my side and my gradmother stop and turned, her wrinkled eyes sending a glare in my direction. I clenched my jaw to keep from saying anything else and when she was satisfied that I would keep my mouth shut, she turned back around and continued walking towards the car.

"What did mom say?" rahel hissed in my ear.

"Yeah, sorry."

I had never been so happy to walk into a school in my entire life. Not because I was excited to meet new people, but because my grandmother lectured my head off the entire car ride over. Apparently the next time I overslept she'd leave me and the next time I gave her attitude she intended to wash my mouth with a bar of soap.

I'd like to see her try.

Anyway, arriving at school meant I could get out of the car and for that I loved this place already.

Until I got my schedule of course.

For this to be a performing arts school I sure as hell had a lot of hard ass classes that had little to nothing to do with art. Only two of my classes looked reasonable and those were Intro to Art and Design and Music Education. Art was my speciaity but I couldn't help but get a little excited at the prospect of takinga music class. No one knew, but I could hold a pretty solid tune when it came to singing and I had even more fun remixing popular songs with new beats I created. Maybe, despite all the other classes with names I couldn't pronounce and would most likely fail before the end of the year, I'd have a good time after all.

I'd spoken to soon.

School SUCKED. I fell asleep in two of my classes, my art and musical class were boring and we didn't do anything but research on famous artist and musicians, not actually draw or even listen to a fucking song at leats. Lunch was expensive and I spilled marinara sauce on my pants so it looked like I had some mutant perios, I dropped my books in the middle of the hall way twice, and somehow I was already hated by one of the biggest jocks at the school for talking to his girl. I asked for a fucking pencil.

By the end of the day I had a headache, my attitude sucked, and I was exhasuted. I wanted nothing more than go home and sleep but I knew that was going to be impossible living in a house with people like my grandparents. Rachel probably had an amazing day and she would tell them all about it. The'd ask me how my day was and then BAM! I was never going to hear the end of how poor my manners were and how I needed to chew on soap.

I was walking towards the front school when something grabbed me by the back of my shirt and I was thrown against the lockers. I groaned in pain as my head slammend against the metal and I fell to the ground, frowning as I looked up at my attacker. Of course it was the meathead jock I'd mentioned earlier, the one who thought I was talking to his girl. He wore a varsity jacket (how surprising), jeans and a plain white tee. His air was cut low on his scalp and there was stubble working on his jaw. If he wasn't the world's biggest prick he wouldn't have been that been that bad looking but, because he was the world's biggest prick. I couldn't help but compare him to a baboon waring too tight clothing.

"Stay the fuck away from my girlfriend newbie" he spat then laughed as his goons cheered him on.

I glared and clenched my teeth together to keep from saying anything. If we were beign honest this guy could probably beat my ass with the flick of his wrist so I held my tongue but if the playing level would have been fair...

"Fuck off Jackson, no one would dream of talking to Two Face Quinn but you," a voice said from within the crowd that had gathered to watch the events play out. I looked up and a girl with carmel colored skin stepped up next to me. Her hair was down to her butt nearly and her eyes were little and dark brown, making me believe she was mixed. Jackson glared at her but didn't try to stop her as she leaned forward and helped me to my feet.

"Don't talk to my girl like that Tana," he hissed.

The girl dismissed him with a wave and after a growl and few muttered curse words, he and his friends stomped off in the opposite direction. I watched with raised eyebrows then looked back at the girl in front of me. She was even prettier up close and clearly she had some spunk on herself.

"Um thanks-"

"It's Santana but everyone just calls me Tana. You knew here hobbit?"

"Yeah, first day."

"And you're already picking fights with Jackson? Way to go new kid," she said sarcastically. She handed me my bags ans I nodded in thanks. "Listen I've got to go don't worry about Garret okay?"

"I'm not."

"Ha, you've got some balls on you then hobbit. As long as our tests scores are the highest and the school stays cleas, teacher tend to turn a blind eye towards issues here on campu. So, my advice to you: Keep those balls hidden in your pants before you get them ripped off. Jackson's made it known that he doesn't like you and because you didin't say anything back people are looking at you like a prey now. Don't cause unnecessary shit and don't talk to his girl."

I wanted to mention that I didn't cause anything and I wasn't talking to his girl but I appreciated her help so I held my tongue.

"What's your name?"

"Blaine"

"Well, Blaine, welcome to your own personal hell."


	4. Chapter 3

**Blaine's POV**

 _"Vietnam, or sometimes called the Vietcong, was a threat to our economy why?"_

I sat in the back of my history class sketching in my journal. I wanted to go to sleep but the teacher had already threatened me with detention if I had so I figured I could at least pretend I was taking note. It was my second week at this school and I still didn't like it anymore than I had the first day. Rachel had somehow infiltrated the popular crwod and her name was already spreading around the school. The hot new girl who specialized in singing and dancing was who everyone wanted to meet and who all of the guys wanted to claim. No one knew who I was or even care to recognize that I even existed but I wasn't mad at Rachel for beign popular. Really beign isolated was fine with me, I would actually prefer it if people stayed out of my business, but it's not like I was completely alone.

Tana Lopez was fan-fucking-tastic. The girl has some fire with her. She was loud, blunt, had no filter, told me exactly wat she thought no matter what my opinion was, and could always figure out how to cheer me up after a bad day. Fron what I could tell she was popular and had a group of friends but whenever she was with her attention was on me and me alone. I wasn't in love with the girl or anything, but I liked having her around. She made me feel a little less ... well I don't know. She was just helping me somehow.

After a PowerPoint on the Vietnam War and watching a snip bit from the movie Forest Gump class finally ended signaling the arrival of lunch. I gathered my things and stepped into the hallway and made my way towards the cafeteria where Tana would most likely be waiting for me already. I was nearly there when something hit my ankle and my weight was snatched from beneath as I went stumbling forward. I landed right on my face and felt my lips moisten as blood spilled from my nose.

"Ha! Looks like gravity hates you too you little bitch!" Jackson laughed from where he stood above me. The hallways were mostly clear now even if students were in the hall it's not like any of them would bother to help. Apparently he was the school's best athlete and one of the hottest guys on campus. His grades weren't all that but teachers loved him anyways, his dad was rich and made a bunch of donations to the school every year, and he was so damn big no one ever tried to stand up to him. If I was bigger I would have but the real reason I didn't do anything was because I knew even if I was defending myself, if I got in trouble my grandparents would find out and blame everything on my mom, calling herr a poor parent or some shit like that. So, as Jackson laughed and dumped all the contents from my bag onto the hallways floor, I din't say anything.

"Come on bitch, get up and say something," he spat.

I held my nose and glared. So I wouldn't say anything to the principal, but sarcasm and talking back were in my blood.

"I would but that rock you call brain probably wouldn't comprehend anything I said anyway"

"What?!" he yelled, his skin turning and ood purplish pink and his eyes bulging. I probably should have taken that as my cue to shut up but I couldn't, even if I tried.

"See, told you, you wouldn't understand"

He reached down and grabbed me by the front of my shirt, yanking my insignificant smaller grame up and tossing me against the lockers, and moved to close in on me but before he could there was a scream at the ended of the hallways. Jackson, all of his friends and me all looked up and I couldn't help but smile softly when I saw Tana stomping down the hallways. Jackson and me both were far from intimidated and I knew her fussing and yelling probably wouldt help much, but it was good to see her all the same.

"Touch him again and I will shove my foot so far up your ass ny knee will be slapping against your balls, which I will. Then cut them off with the razor blades hidden in my hair." Tana demanded, stepping between us.

Jackson and his friends just stared and I side and pulled at her wrist. "Tana it's fine," I mumbled. "And I'm a pink unicorn. It's not fine dumbass," she fussed at me. "Now you," she turned her attention back towards him and shoved her finger in his face, "Fuck. Off."

"I'm not afraid of you Tana."

One of his friends, Luke I think, moved forward and pulled Tana out of the way. I went to reach for her but before I got the chance something hard connected with my rib cage and I coughed before doubling over and sliding to the groend in pain. "Shit," I hissed, knowing that would leave a bruise. Tana screamed my name and Luke clamped his hand over her mouth to shut her up. The baboon had been bullying me since the first day I got here but he'd never taken it this far before. He pushed me to the ground on my back and I thought this was it, this was the day Blaine Anderberry got his ass beat to the point of no return, but then someone said his name and he froze.

Luke let Tana go and she rushed to my side to help me up but I brushed her off, my pride or at least getting in the way, and pushed myself to my feet on my own. When I looked up I thought something was wrog with my vision for a moment but nope, I wasn't dreaming. God had sent one of his most gorgeous and bad ass angels down to intervene and now he would whip Baboon Jackson's fat ass and banish him to the deepest pits of hell before sweeping me off ny feet abd flying me up to heaven.

Yup. That was definitly what was about to happen.

"Kurt? What are you doing down here man?" he asked with a casual smile as if everything was fine. The angel named Kurt ignored his fake attempts at seeming friendly and looked forward with a blank expression on his perfect face. Kurt was tall, topping abut 5'8", had broad shoulders, a fantastic jaw line, and the most beautiful pink lips and blue eyes I'd ever seen. He had gages and a nose piercing and I could see the hint of a tattoo on his forearm and another on the opposite peeking from beneath his sleeve.

"What did I tell you about messing with Tana?" he asked, his voice so high pitched but slow and casual that I could barely hear him. But I did and I had to close my eyes and clench my jaw tightly. Even his voice was sexy. It was perfect.

"You got it wrong dude, she was messing with me."

"And him," Kurt nodded his haid in my direction and I swallowed when his eyes met mine. I probably looked liked shit with blood dripping from my nose and my hair all fuckes up but what could I do? I wiped my mouth and cleared my throat, hoping Kurt thought the heat on my cheeks was just from hetting tossed around.

"Oh this bitch right here? That's nothing, just some business I was handling. Listen Dud-"

"It's Kurt. Tana come on, the others are waiting for us at lunch."

Tana flicked Jackson before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards Kurt, who had turned and walked away. I looked back and I was surprised when I saw him just standing there frowning. Well, looks like the big baboon didn't run the school after all.

Instead of following Tana into the lunch room like I thought we were doing, Kurt turned and entered the boys bathroom and, even though he didn't say anything or even hold the door for me, Tana told me to follow him. So I did. I mean he was an angel right? It's not like he was going to do anything to me.

When I stepped inside he had two paper towls already and turned to hand them to me as I took my spot infront of the mirros. I saw my own reflection and frowned. I had a crape on my chin from falling and I doubted my nose was broken but it was already bruising. My shirt was completely stained with blood, my hay was everywhere, and I was pale. I seriously looked like a character from The Walking Dead. I muttered thanks and took the napkins from Kurt and winced as I tried to clean myself up.

"So what did you do?" he asked after a while.

I glanced at him in the mirror and shrugged. "Apparently asking his girlfriend for a pencil is a crime around here."

"Quinn isn't his girlfriend"

"Well somebody should tell him that."

Kurt chukled and even though moving anything on my face kinda hurt, his chucckle was so attractive that I couldn't help but smile softly in return. I finished wiping the blood from my face and turned my shirt inside out to try and make the blood at least a little less noticeable. Kurt sat on the counter messing with his phone the whole time wich was kind of weird to me. My angel didn't seem like he cared very much so I don't know why he felt the need to stay and keep me company, especially if he was barely talking to me, but he did anyway.

"Um, I guess we can go," I mumbled.

Kurt looked up and gave a little half chuckle. "If we're being honest you don't look much better."

"What are you talking about? I think I look quite dashing."

Kurt's smile wided and again, I smiled in return. We lecft the bathroom after that and heading towards the lunchroom but he hesitated just before we walked in. He turned to look at me and I couldn't help but notice the slight frown on his face. "If Jackson messes with you again you'll let me know." It was more of a statemente than a question, like he was telling me what I was going to do, and as much as I hated being told what to do, I simply swallowed and nodded.

"Y-Yeah. Okay. Th-thanks."


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the extremely late update I blame it on ff net**

 **Blaine's POV**

The only good thing about my new school besides Tana and The Angel Named Kurt was the luch perios. Not only was lunch an hour, but the food was actually pretty damn good. Kurt found Tana seated at a table with a bunch of other people I didn't know already eating and, from the frown on Tana's face and how into conversation she was, most likely talking about me and Jackson's run in.

"I mean seriously! He's rich kid prick and if I had a gun I'd-"

"Let's not finish that sentence on school grounds," Kurt said as we walked up to the table. All eyes turned to us and Kurt sat on one side of the table and I sat down next to Tana, who engulfed me in a hug as soon as I was seated.

"My poor baby hobbit! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine mom, thanks for asking."

Tana slapped me on the back of my shoulder and rolled here eyes. "Excuse me for being worried."

"You were acting a bit like a mom," a girl across from me giggle. I looked up to meet her eyes and she gave me a warm smile before extending a hand to shake. "Hey I'm Brittany, like Britney but with an A." Brittany with the A had blonde hair with green eyes. She was cute with full lips and high cheekbones when she smiled. She wore two sleeveless tank tops and plain jeans and her hair was pulled into a pony tail. Compared to the others at this table she looked pretty innocent.

"Hey," I mumbled, shaking her hand.

Next to introduce themselves was a guy named Sam and, if Kurt wasn't sitting just a few seats down, I would have consired him the most attractive guy I'd ever seen. He was seriously hot with blonde hair, big lips, serious muscled arms, and the clearest green eyes that stood out even more because his features. He had a bit of an edge to him like Kurt but him seemed sweet enough. Besides, he had to of been considering Brittany, the cute and innocent one, was his girlfriend. Mercedes came next but she was too engrossed in something on her phone to actually introduce herself so Tana did it for her and Mercedes just sent a small smile my way when she heard her name beign called. The last person to be introduced was Noah but nobody called him by his fisrt name, so Puck was ... well he was probably the most intimidating guy in the school. He was tall like the other boys but bigger in the sense that his houlders were broader, his arms longer and more muscled, and he was just solid everywhere. He didn't fit the image of the stereotypical jock, you know, the mohawk and the other piercings kinda messed that up, but he looked like a born and bred football player. Or better yet, a guy you didn't want to pick a fight. Noah was deep in a conversation with Kurt but when Tana reached over and slapped him on the shoulder he turned and gave me a quick glance over.

"What's your name again?" he frowned.

"Blaine."

"Blaine, nice to meet you man," he shook my hand and I odded a hello and tried not to notice how much bigger his hands were than mine. All the boys at the table were slightly taller than me but compared to Puck I felt like a freaking pip-squeak. "So how long have you been going here?"

"I just started here at the beginning of the week, so not long."

"Yet you've already got a hit list out on you? Mercedes said as she tuned back into the conversation.

I shrugged. I didn't think it was a hit list but even if it was I didn't really care. Getting bullied at school was nothing compared to what went on at home. The rest of lunch conversations flowed pretty easily between us all. Sam and Brittany with the A were so cute it was sickening, Mercedes cursed at least twice every time she spoke a full sentence, Tana did most of the talking wich wasn't surprising considering she was who she was, Noah looked like he was on the verge of sleeping and kept complaining about wanting a cigarette, Kurt was on his phone and only spoke when someone asked him a question and I sat between Tana and Mercedes soaking it all up.

Together they were probably the oddest combination of people I'd ever met. Each one of them was extremely different from the other but somehow they were all equally awesome and blended as if they'd known each other all of their lives, which they may have. I had friends back at my old school but never like this, never the kind I would consider family.

The bell rung and Sam, Brittany and Mercedes all said goodbye before going off towards their next class.

"Where you going newbie?" Puck asked as we all walked towards the exit.

"Art."

"You draw?" Kurt asked.

"I doodle every now and then yeah."

"I've seen his sketches, doodling is hardly the word I would use to describe them."

I turned around and swallowed some when I saw Rachel and a few of her friends standing behind us. I was happy to see my sister sure but, for some unknown reason to me, I kinda wished she'd hadn't decided to make herself known while I was standing with Kurt. Before she even spoke again I knew she'd be throwing herself at him.

"Who's your friend Blaine?" she asked.

 _I should seriously get paid for my predictions._

"Um guys, this is my sister Rachel. Rach, these are the guys," I mumbled a half assed introduction and tried to excuse us but

She had already smiled and batted her eyelashes, holding her hand out for Kurt to shake. She shook both Kurt and Puck's hands equally as long and even hugged Tana so it wouldn't seem like all of her attention was strictly on Kurt but it was obvious it was. And honestly I didn't think I could blame her.

"Well we better get going," I mumbled.

"Me and Tana have gym. See you around Newbie," Puck said and began pulling her down the hall.

"I've got a club to get to. See around Blaine. Rachel," Kurt nodded a goodbye in my sisters direction and shot a last minute glance in my own before turning and walking off in the opposite direction. Rachel's friends had left as well and now it was just us.

"Jesus Christ Blaine, where'd you find him?"

"He actually saved me from getting my face pounded in but that's nothing new right?"

"You got in a fight?! Blaine what if mom finds out? Or worse, what if Grandpa or Grandma-"

"I seriously am not capable of caring about their opinion in any way shape or form Rachel. And as far as mom goes what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Now I've seriously got to get to class."

"Okay okay wait! Fine, I won't tell mom about whatever the hell is going on with you, but first tell me a little more about your new friend. Whats his name? Is he single?"

"His name is Kurt and if you want to know so badly why don't you ask him."

"Hmm. Maybe I will." Rachel smiled mischievously in the direction Kurt had gone and leaned up and pressed a quick kiss on my cheek. She twirled on her heel and went to walk away and I frowned. I didn't know what it was, but I'd never disliked her as much as I disliked her in that moment. I doubted Kurt would ever look at me the way I looked at him but just for a moment I thought I had a chance at having something she didn't. My family was big on sharing and helping people and I liked to think I was pretty selfless, but was it wrong of me to want just one thing for myself? It's not like I was searching for a relationship with him or anything, I just didn't want Rachel getting in the way of what could at least be a good friendship.

"Hey Rachel wait! I wouldn't waste your time trying to go after him... I'm pretty sure he's gay."


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yeap today's a double update day!**

 **Blaine's POV**

"Sweetheart you need to go upstairs and rest. You've been slaving over those documents for a while now. It's getting you nowhere."

It was Sunday night and my mother was currently sitting at the kitchen table trying hard to finish some work she'd been forced to bring home while my grandmother tried to get her to stop. My mom was a smart woman and she did virtually anything she said she was going to do, but if we were being honest she didn't have the necessary training or the desire to be an accountant, which was probably why her new job was so stressful. It pained me to see her like that but the only way I could

think to help her was by keeping my own life, and the lives of my sisters, together so she wouldn't have to worry about us.

"I know mom, and I promise I will, I just have to get these last few numbers in order."

My grandmother crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "As much as I applaud you for working so hard, none of this would have ever happened if you would have just listened to me before."

"Mom please-"

"I mean the man was a high school teacher Pamela! You know teachers don't get paid enough. Why would you marry someone so incapable of providing fo-"

"Are you talking about my dad?"

My grandmother and mother both gasped slightly before turning to look at me. I didn't realize I had even gotten up to enter the kitchen but I was standing there all the same. And I was highly upset.

"Son I was simply saying-"

"You were simply lying. My dad was more than capable of providing for us. He was a great father and instead of putting my mom down for loving him you should be congratulating her for being able to find someone she was able to be happy with! We would be fine if he was still here but he's not! He got shot and you don't even care."

"Blaine Anderberry you will not speak to me like that in my own home. I've accepted you kids into my house out of the kindness of my heart and asked for nothing in return. The least you could do is say thank you."

"Thank you for what? You don't do anything bu-"

"Blaine quit it!" My mother screamed. I looked towards her and frowned. She'd gotten up from her seat and was only a few inches away from me now. Her eyes were wide and angered and she had her jaw clenched like she always did when she

was mad, like I always did when I was mad. I looked between my mother and my grandmother and clenched and unclenched my fist. I didn't know who I was more upset with in that moment. My grandmother for putting my dad down, or my mother for sitting by and letting her.

"I think you should go to your room," my mom said through clenched teeth.

"I think I should get some air instead."

By the time I'd walked deep into town by the strip mall and all the shops and things the sun was gone and the streetlights were the only thing lighting my way. I didn't know where I was going or how long I'd been out but I knew I wasn't ready to go back home. Or back to whatever the hell that place was, because it wasn't my fucking home.

Well, it may not even be a roof for you to sleep under now. Nice job pissing everyone off Blaine.

I sighed and kept walking. I hadn't meant to speak out like that or disrespect my grandmother the way I did, but she shouldn't have disrespected my father like that. No matter what anyone said my dad was great. He worked hard but always wore a smile on his face and even though we couldn't afford all the fancy shit my grandparents had I was happy when he was alive. I could hold my tongue and take a lot of shit, but I couldn't take people talking about my dad.

I passed by a bench and sat down. It was cold outside and I felt stupid for leaving the house in nothing but jeans and tshirt, I didn't even have fucking shoes, but the cold was hardly bothering me because of everything else.

What the hell was happening to my life?

Why was my mom staying with people who treated her like that?

Why was my sister perfectly fine?

Why didn't anyone want to talk about what happened?

I felt something wet hit my cheek and swallowed. Fuck. I was crying. I hated crying.

"Blaine?"

I recognized the voice immediately and wiped my eyes quickly before looking up and coming face to face with Kurt and Puck. Kurt was wearing a simple red tight, jeans, and a leather jacket and Puck was dressed in a hoodie and a pair of jeans and a cigarette in his mouth. Over the past two weeks of going to school I'd gotten close enough with them to at least consider them friends, but Tana was still the only one I had a connection with. Puck and Kurt were kinda just the guys I sat at the lunch table with and would send glares Jackson's way if ever he tried to mess with me. If this were Tana who found me on a bench I'd probably complain about being seen crying and then cry some more as I told her everything, with these two I was a little embarrassed.

Scratch that I was embarrassed as fuck.

"Um h-hey. What are you guys doing out here?"

"We just got off work. What the hell happened to you?" Kurt sat down on the bench next to me and I looked down so I wouldn't have to look him in the eyes. Puck sat on my other side and slouched down against the bench, blowing puffs of

smoke out the corner of his mouth and frowning deeply.

"Don't tell us you ran into Jackson" he grumbled.

"Ha, I wish."

"Then what the fuck is it?" I flinched slightly. I cursed all the time but I'd never heard Kurt curse before. I looked up at him and he was looking at me with a calm face but his eyes seemed to be on fire. He was angry about something and I didn't really understand why, but it made me feel better. Again, don't ask me why.

"It's nothing really I just needed some air. My family isn't exactly the Brady Bunch," I said with a weak chuckle. The fire in Kurt's eyes dimmed some and he relaxed and sunk back against the bench. I sighed and leaned back with him. We were all quiet for a while as we watched the stars and listened to cars drive by and I couldn't help but wonder what we looked like, me with barely any clothes on to block the cold weather, Puck with his mohawk and a cigarette, and Kurt with his natural bad boy aura and amazing looks. I'm sure we were a sight to see but I didn't really care what others thought. Even though they weren't speaking or asking me any questions, they still sat with me and that was probably all the comfort I needed. But I felt bad about keeping them from whatever they were doing before they saw me.

"I should probably get home," I mumbled after a while. I looked to my right and smiled in shock and amazement when I found Puck sleeping soundly. Kurt was so quiet I thought possibly he was sleep as well but when I turned to look at him he was looking at me with a soft smile of his own. Now that I wasn't caught up in my emotions like a girl PMS-ing, I really looked at Kurt and registered how close we were. The bench wasn't that big to begin with but where there was space between my knee and Puck's, Kurt's knee brushed mine and his leaning at an angle was the only thing keeping his shoulder from touching mine as well. His hair had been messed by the wind and his lips were red as if he was eating a piece of candy or sucker before he saw me. I was used to seeing him nearly everyday now and I'd accepted the fact that, somehow, he was human like the rest of us and not an angel like I'd hoped, but his looks would never stop surprising me. The man was sexy as hell and before I could blurt it out loud, he spoke.

"That man can fall asleep anywhere. Don't worry about him, I'll go get the car then come back to get him."

"You're just gonna leave him here?"

"Does he look like he needs a babysitter?" I glanced at Puck again and laughed. Kurt was right, even asleep the boy looked intimidating. "Do you want a ride back to your house?"

"I'm fine, the walk isn't far."

"That means the drive won't be either. Wait here." Before I could say anything else Kurt stood up and jogged across the street before turning and disappearing down an alleyway. I watched him go, a little worried about the whole disappearing down an alley way thing, but was to preoccupied with being happy to worry too much. Not only had he sat and stayed with me when he found me, was decent enough to pretend he didn't see me crying, but now he was taking me home as well? His actions were simple enough and I knew he was a good guy so it was no big deal for him but it still made me feel kind of special.

"You can take a right at this stop sign."

Kurt followed my instructions and within five minutes he was pulling into my grandparents driveway. He put the car in park and looked up at the house in awe. He looked like a little kid in a candy store and, as cute as I found him in that moment, I wished he would stop.

"Tana didn't mention anything about you being rich."

"Ha, believe me, I'm not. Thanks for the ride Kurt." I opened the door and had just shut it behind me when Kurt rolled the passenger window down and leaned across the seat to get a better look at me.

"Hey listen, a friend of mine is throwing a party this weekend. You coming?"

"Ah, a party which will most likely consist of drugs and alcohol no? As wonderful as the combination sounds and as eager as I am to die a young, drunken death, I may have to pass on that one," I said with a sarcastic frown. The truth was I would

love to go but couldn't afford to. I'd seriously messed up tonight and thanks to me my mom was probably never gonna hear the end of it. A million bucks says my grandparents will blame it on my dad, saying he didn't raise me right or I got my temper from him; some shit that doesn't make sense. I couldn't afford to let loose at a party like I wanted to.

Kurt rolled his eyes and smiled that crooked smile I was beginning to love. "Tana will be there."

"Ah, drugs, alcohol, and Tana. This just gets better and better doesn't it?"

"Look smart ass it's gonna be fun and you're going. Somebody will be here to pick you up at seven on Saturday."

"Somebody? Why not you?"

"Are you saying I'm nobody?"

"No!"

"Then who knows, I could be somebody. Now you better go, it's probably past your bedtime huh?"

"Asshole."

Kurt winked, actually physically moved his eyelids tighter together before opening them up again, and smiled in my direction. He turned the car back on and I stood in the driveway and watched as he pulled away with a still sleeping Puck in the backseat of his car.

 _Well, fuck_.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Short chapter. Sorry, night classes and work are devouring all my time.**

 **Blaine's POV**

"Why can't I go?" Cooper pouted. It was the night of the party and I was currently sitting on my bed sketching a picture of lips when Cooper came in my room demanding to know why Rachel was trying to dress so pretty. Yes, unfortunately you heard correctly. My sister will be attending the party. I didn't even know she was going or that she even knew about it but apparently the entire school knew. She was planning to ride with a friend but when I accidentally let it slip that Kurt had invited me and was most likely picking me up, she invited herself to ride with us. So now Cooper sat at the end of my bed pouting because both his siblings were leaving and he couldn't go, completely unaware that I was pouting to.

I was just soooooo fucking confused. My he's-gay-so-back-off- plan didn't work sadly.

Rachel and I were different and we got into our fair share of arguments, but we still got along great as siblings! Why the hell was she pissing me off so much lately?

"Blaine you're not listening to me!" Cooper whined. I sighed and set my sketchbook to the side before pulling the four year old into my arms and kissing his forehead. Cooper was little for his age and had always, and will always be my baby, but when it would have been comforting before to see him cuddled against me or following me around everywhere I went, now it was a bit sad. Cooper understood that our dad wasn't coming back but he didn't really get the whole dying thing quite yet.

Cooper was a daddy's boy and after he died he started clinging to me more than usual and I knew it was because I looked like him. He didn't understand death, but he understood enough to miss him.

"I'm sorry punk, what were you saying?"

"I wanna go with you and Rachel," he mumbled, laying his small head against my chest and wrapping his little fist in my shirt.

"I know but you gotta stay and keep mommy company. Besides, we'll be out past your bedtime and you wanna sleep don't you?"

"No."

As he said it he yawned. I chuckled and pat him on the head softly. I didn't say anything after that, just held him in my arms, and eventually he was asleep. I kissed his forehead and rolled him over onto my bed just as Rachel stepped in.

"What do you think?" she asked, gesturing to her outfit. She wore tight leather pants and a white crop top that said parental advisory on it. As usual her hair was curled and she wore make up to make her look even prettier than she already was and her shirt lifted easily, revealing her perfectly slim and curved waist and belly button piercing she'd gotten on her fifteenth birthday, against dad's wishes of course. It was weird but my sister looked hot, and I couldn't help but compare myself to her. I wore jeans and a polo shirt with fucking suspenders. I thought it looked nice at first but now I felt like I was going to a family party.

"You look good," I mumbled.

"Good or /good/?" she asked, walking further into my room and sitting down on the end of my bed carefully so as not to wake Cooper. She picked up my sketchbook and let her fingers slide over the picture and, again, she was annoying me. I typically didn't mind her looking at my sketches but I was drawing lips and I was afraid if she studied them too hard she'd figure out whose lips I was drawing. So I took it from her and slid it into my desk drawer.

"What's the difference?" I mumbled, referring to her earlier question.

"The difference is Kurt Hummel is coming and that man is..." she trailed off and closed her eyes before moaning and I feared she was having an orgasm.

"Rachel!"

Her eyes flew open and Rachel laughed loudly. "Shh! You'll wake Cooper," she giggled. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and smiled up in my direction. "I was teasing, but only a little. Be honest with me Blaine. Am I hot enough to get a

chance with Kurt?"

I looked at her and clenched my jaw and felt my eyebrows furrow in a sad frown, not because she wasn't, but because she absolutely was. "Y-Yeah, Rachel, you're hot enough for him.

Rachel's smile widened and she stood up and smoothed out her hips, which were perfect from years of dancing.

"Well, lets hope he thinks the same."


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Whoop! Whoop! long chapter! Please review and let me know if you are enjoying this story, Thanks 4 reading!**

 **Blaine's POV**

"I said whats up bitch," Jackson repeated for the third time. I was standing there like a deer in headlights at first but snapped out of it when I realized 1) he hadn't actually hit me yet and 2) he was seriously expecting a response.

"N-Nothing."

"And your bodyguard, where's he?" Jackson took a step closer to me and I swallowed and held my ground. On the inside I had run away a long time ago but I refused to let him see me weak, even though physically I was. My only strength was my attitude so, until he really beat the shit out of me, I would hold onto it.

"There a problem boys?"

Jackson and I both looked up and I relaxed some when I saw Puck, Tana, Marley, and Jake all flanking my sides.

Sam was the one to speak and even though he was shorter than Jackson and not as solid one raise of his eyebrow was all it took for Jackson to back off. He took a step back and shot me one last glare before mumbling no and walking off in the other direction. When he was gone, Sam clapped his hand on my shoulder and that friendly smile was back again.

"Let's get you that drink."

"Actually, I'm not drinking tonight. Kinda wanna watch out for my sister you know?"

"Aw Blaine! You get better by the day!" Tana smiled.

"Haha, come on, we have non alcoholic stuff too," Jake mumbled.

I followed them into the kitchen, Puck leaving us to go find Sam and Brittany, and couldn't help but frown when I saw Kurt and Rachel talking as if they were close friends. Rachel sat on the kitchen counter with a beer in hand and Kurt was leaning against it next to her, smiling as he told her something she then laughed about.

Was it bad that I was mad at him?

It probably wasn't reasonable and for a guy I was acting a hell of a lot like a girl, but as grateful as I was for Jake, I was upset that it hadn't been Kurt. He was the one to help me the first time and he was the one who told me to let him know if Jackson had messed with me again and now that my sister had smiled and showed off her curves it was like he'd forgotten all about it. All about me.

"Blaine?" Tana asked.

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay? You seem out of it today..."

"No I'm cool Tana, just a little tired I guess."

"Is it Jackson? Did he say something to you? Because I swear Blaine if he di-"

"Haha Tana calm down! I told you I'm fine, nothing's wrong with me. Now will you relax? You look to cute to be fighting anyone tonight."

Tana's mood changed immediately and she smiled widely as Marley handed us our drinks. She went on to thank me and explain how long it had taken her to complete her outfit and even though I was looking at her, my attention was elsewhere.

What were Kurt and my sister talking about?

Why did he keep smiling at her like that?

Why the hell did she keep touching his shoulder?

When another girl came over and pulled him away from Rachel for a dance I don't think I've ever been so happy before in my life, and when I saw the defeated look on my sister's face I felt like shit for it. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Hey Jake?"

"Whats up kid?"

"I think I'll take another drink. A real one this time."

I watched from the second level of the house as Tana danced with Puck, Matt with Rachel, Marley and Jake sat making out in the kitchen, and Rachel, who had somehow found her way back in with Kurt, sat on the couch talking to him over the loud music. I wasn't drunk but I could feel a light buzz in my stomach and head and knew I needed to put my drink down but it was hard to when I felt miserable. I didn't know anyone here besides a few people and they were all in their own little world having fun. Before at my old school I was always the life of the party, now I just felt like a fly on the wall.

"Blaine?"

I looked to my left and tensed when I saw Quinn. She was in a flimsy white dress, her blonde hair cascading over her right shoulder, and her cheeks were pink from drinking. Quinn was an attractive girl and if I wasn't currently getting harassed by her boyfriend who wasn't really her boyfriend, I probably would have appreciated someone like her approaching me but now all I felt was danger. I was not to talk to Quinn and Jackson had made that perfectly clear.

Who was I to go against his dearest wishes?

 _You're a jealous, selfish, and stupid teenage boy with an attitude who's a little bit drunk and doesn't really give a shit right now._

Yup. That's who I was.

"Hey Quinn, how are you?"

Quinn leaned against the stair railing and smiled as she closed her eyes and let her body sway to the music some. "Oh I'm great Blaine. Great. Have you tried any yet?"

"Any what?"

She giggled and leaned forward, or more like fell forward. She collapsed against my side and I had no choice but to hold her by the waist in order to keep her standing. I was about to reposition her back against the railing when she latched onto my

shirt and smiled. "Ecstasy," she whispered. And then, just as quickly as my eyes widened in response, she was kissing me. I panicked and tried to push away but the girl's grip was like steel. She had me by the back of my neck and her other hand was on my hip and she was digging her nails into my side. She moved her lips over mine like crazy even though I wasn't kissing back and I tensed even more than I already was when I felt her tongue slap against my bottom lip and push it's way into my mouth. Our tongues had just met when she was snatching away from me, wait no, someone was snatching me away from her. I looked up into the eyes of an extremely pissed off and extremely drunk Jackson.

"Now you die," he said clearly.

He grabbed me by the back of my neck and I gasped as he shoved me down the stairs and through the crowd towards the backyard. I heard Mercedes, who I didn't even realize was here, call my name and tried to look to her for help but Jackson's grip on my neck was so tight I couldn't turn my head to the side. He pushed through the back door, screaming at some people to move as he did so, and stopped when we were standing in front of a pool.

"Jackson wait I-"

I tried to beg for my forgiveness but he wasn't listening. He lifted me above his shoulder like a feather and I heard someone scream for him to stop just before he was throwing me into the pool. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal, I know how to swim after all, if he hadn't thrown me in three feet of water. You know those signs that say no diving? Yeah, you should seriously listen to them.

I went under and was immediately met with the pain of my head hitting the cement of the bottom of the pool. I managed to hold my breath but that didn't stop the shaking my skull was met with. I looked up and could barely make out two large figures fighting when the world around them began to blink red white and blue. The figures stopped fighting and everyone around them began to disappear, running away like horses in a race, all of the colors of their clothing blending together and hurting my head. I closed my eyes to relieve some of the pain behind my eyes but my peace was short lived when I felt something grabbing me and snatching me out of the water.

I coughed, breathing air again, and had just opened my eyes when Kurt pulled me to my feet and began to run, dragging me along with him. Every step I took made my head hurt but his arms around me were so warm I couldn't complain.

As we got to the front yard the flashing lights became more visible and I blinked when I saw a policemen pinning Jake to the grass in his front yard, Puck on the ground next to him struggling with another police officer.

"Wait...Jake ...Puck."

Kurt swung his car door open and threw me in the passenger seat before jumping in the drivers seat and speeding off. Was he leaving Jake? Puck? What about Tana or the others? Where was my sister? Oh shit where was my sister?!

Mom would kill me if anything happened! I was supposed to be helping her out now that dad was gone, I was supposed to take care of Rachel and Cooper so she wouldn't have to. What if Kurt had left Rachel to get arrested too?

"St-stop. Stop the car...I need to go back." Kurt ignored me and kept speeding away and I groaned. The trees flying by the window were making me dizzy. "I said stop," I groaned. Kurt ignored me again and I held onto the glove compartment in front of me and tried to swallow my uneasiness. I made the stupid mistake of looking out the window in attempts to see where we were and it was just to much. "Kurt...st-stop...I'm ..."

Nope. No more. I flung the door open and Kurt swore, stomping on the breaks of his car and coming to stop as I stumbled out and collapsed onto the street on my hands and knees, throwing up by entire stomach basically. I coughed and sat back on my knees and wiped my mouth. Kurt was in front of me in seconds and boy was he mad.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! You can't jump out of a moving car!" he screamed, pacing the street in front of me.

"I told you to stop," I mumbled. "Where's my sister?"

"She's fine, Sam took her. Blaine you-" Kurt stopped speaking and stood in front of me, screaming as he wiped his hands over in his face as if he could pull the stress away. When he looked at me again his eyes were softer but they were still on fire. "What the hell were you thinking kissing Quinn in front of Jackson like that?"

I wanted to argue but I couldn't force myself to speak. He was upset with me and I knew that, but I didn't understand why. Did he have some beef with Jackson previous to me? Was he watching out for me because I was Tana's friend and he

had a thing for Tana? Was he doing it because I was Rachel's brother and he had a thing for Rachel? He didn't know me and even though he could have spent tonight figuring me out, he chose to spend it with my sister. He had invited me to come and

then pretended I wasn't even there. So why the hell did he care so much?

"I want to go home," I mumbled.

"No."

"I'm tired."

"You need to go to the emergency room. You could have a concussion."

"What? N-No, absolutely not."

"Blaine your head is bleeding and looking out the window just made you throw up! You need help!"

"I can't! My mom...if my mom finds out she'll worry and I just...look I'm fine. I'm talking to you aren't I? Everything is fine. Now will you please take me home?"

Kurt folded his arms across his chest and looked at me. I tried my best to look okay but it was hard. Not only was my head killing me, but I didn't like him looking at me like this. I felt like he was tearing me open. I looked down and Kurt stepped forward and pulled me to my feet slowly. I was so close to him now that I could smell his cologne and see the outline of a bruise forming on his chin from what looked like a fist. I went to look down again but Kurt gripped my chin inbetween

his fingers and titled my face up so I could look no where but at him. I felt his eyes on my own and chewed my bottom lip in attempts to bite back tears.

This wasn't fair.

Kurt wasn't for me to enjoy. We couldn't have moments like this. Rachel wanted him, he wanted Rachel, not me. I didn't belong here in the middle of the street at night with him, just us and the moon.

This wasn't fair.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he mumbled.

"I'm upset with you."

"Will you tell me why?"

I shook my head and the motion caused me to wince. My back trembled and I couldn't help but lean against Kurt as it felt like my brain was bouncing around in my skull. Kurt held me up by my shoulders and I could faintly hear him calling my name but it sounded like he was miles away even though I knew he was right in front of me. I looked up and the night sky turned from a dark blue with a few blazing white lights to pitch black and then everything felt like it was lifting and turning so that I was upside down. Within seconds gravity pulled me down and my brain shut off and was replaced with an empty darkness.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: If you don't like the idea of Hummelberry this chapter is not for you. Minor character death mention.** **Thanks so much for reading and hope you enjoy this (a lil'different) chapter. Don't forget to review guys.**

 **Kurt's POV**

I pulled into my drive way and set the car in park before jumping out and running down the hill on the side of my house and towards the basement door. Typically I'd go through my front door but I didn't want my brother to wake up and see me carrying a half conscious guy into the house. So when the basement door-a.k.a my front door considering the basement was all mine-was open I ran back to my truck and slowly and carefully pulled Blaine into my arms, using my leg to kick the jeep door closed after me. Blaine shivered and mumbled something about kittens and bowties I sped up my pace, stepping into the basement and once again using my foot to kick the door close.

"This was not supposed to happen," I grumbled as I carried him towards the bathroom. When I invited Blaine to the party I had a feeling Jackson would be there but figured he would be too busy hooking up with somebody or playing beer pong

to actually notice Blaine. Then again, I also figured Blaine would be smart enough not to kiss Quinn but apparently I was wrong about that too.

I set Blaine down in the bathtub and he groaned in response. "Hey, shh shh be quiet. You're fine," I whispered, gently pushing his now messy curls back and out of his face. _He should forget about the gel_. I reached behind me for the first aid kit and when I turned around again Blaine had opened his eyes and was watching me as I fumbled with the peroxide and cotton balls. He looked like he was barely holding onto consciousness and when he was starting to nod of again I grabbed his face and slapped him gently on the chin.

"Blaine stay awake for me man, a doctor is on the way," I pleaded. Blaine groaned again and leaned into my palm, blinking his eyes before locking them onto mine. I stared back and clenched my jaw tight, suddenly filled with anger and regret. I'd spent most of the night with Rachel and was having such a good time just talking with her that I'd forgotten about the party going on around us. When Mercedes came screaming about Jackson dragging Blaine to the back though I snapped back to reality and all thoughts focused on helping Blaine. I didn't know why I was so protective of him I just was. I felt like he was to good of a person to get treated like he was. There was just something about him that screamed he needed help but he was too prideful to admit it. I wanted to help him, I wanted to protect him. Only tonight I'd failed.

"Kurt," Blaine mumbled.

"Hey man, hows your head?"

"Answering you requires thinking and thinking requires using my head and that doesn't seem like a very good idea right now. So, I'll leave it up to that beautiful imagination of yours."

I dropped my hand to Blaine's shoulder and some of my anger washed off as I smiled. Even now he was being a smart ass. I chuckled and fell back against the wall next to the tub. I pushed my fingers through my hair and sighed deeply. I was glad he was awake because I honestly had no idea how to treat head wounds and as long as he was unconscious I was gonna freak out and think he was dead. And I really didn't want to think like that, not about Blaine. I rolled my head to the side and looked at Blaine and he forced a smile. It sucked seeing my friend in so much pain and, even though it was all Jackson's fault, I couldn't help but feel responsible too. I couldn't help but think if only I had spent more time with him we could have avoided all of this.

"Did you win?" Blaine mumbled, his eyelids dropping closed.

"Hmm? Hey, stay awake until the doctor gets here."

"I am awake sadly. You fought Jackson didn't you? Did you win?"

"Oh. Well, considering we were interrupted by the cops and I didn't get to properly beat his ass, I'd call it a tie. Fucking hate ties," I grumbled, smiling when I saw Blaine chuckle weakly. Blood spilled down the side of his face just by his ear and I

grabbed a cotton ball and gently wiped it away. Blaine's eyes opened at the touch and he looked at me and for just a moment I thought he was blushing. I looked at him and his eyes were so clear and bright and innocent, so... I dropped my hand back to my side and sat down again, tossing the cotton ball towards the trash and sighing when I missed.

"You suck," Blaine said.

"Shut up. You're not supposed to be thinking remember?"

"I don't have to think that hard to know you suck."

"I'm gonna turn on the shower if you keep bullying me you-"

"Kurt I think I'm gonna pass out again."

"What? N-no no, not yet. She's not here yet," I breathed. I panicked and spun around on my knees, grabbing Blaine by the shoulders and again, slapping his cheek slightly while he blinked, trying hard to stay awake.

"Stay awake just a little while longer man please. I freak out when you do shit like this to me."

"Not...my fault. Spinning...the room is spinning."

"Blaine!" I heard someone scream. I turned around to scream a reply but the sound of the first scream made Blaine wince so I kept my mouth shut, leaving them to figure out where we were on their own. I turned my attention back to Blaine and swallowed. He'd gone completely slack in my arms and stared at the ceiling with a dazed expression on his face. His head fell to the side and I grabbed his chin, snatching him back into consciousness.

The bathroom door flew open and Sam and Rachel rushed inside, Tana squeezing in behind them. Rachel's face was streaked with tears and she took one look at her brother and sobbed, turning and running out of the bathroom. Sam paled and looked from me back to Blaine and Tana rushed forward, dropping to her knees next to me and practically snatching Blaine from my grip. For some reason I didn't understand, it bothered me that she'd taken him from me and I almost snatched him back. I ignored the temptation though and stood up and looked at Sam.

"Where's your mom?"

"She's-"

"Right here." Sam and I both looked up and I sighed in relief as Sam's mom stepped into view dressed in her pajamas, tweety bird sleepers, and a bag full of what I assumed to be hospital supplies. She gave me a quick smile before stepping into the bathroom and getting straight to business, turning the shower water on cold to keep Blaine awake and kicking us all out so she could work. Tana came to stand next to me outside of the door and I swallowed when I saw tears streaming down

her face. Blaine was Tana's friend first, not mine, if I was freaking out as much as I was I knew she must have felt ten times worse.

"He's fine," she chanted, "it's not as bad as it looks. It's fine." I felt my heart breaking for her and moved to pull her in for a hug but she held up her hand, motioning for me to stop.

"Not me, her," she muttered, pointing to the couch. I frowned in confusion and followed her finger and felt even worse when I saw Rachel sitting on the couch. She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest and she was singing something softly as she tried not to cry. Swallowing, I slid my hands in my pockets and crossed the large room and went to sit down next to her.

"Rachel I-"

"Why does he look like that? Sam said it was just a concussion. Concussions aren't supposed to look that bad Kurt."

"I-It is just a concussion. I'm sure he'll be fine."

Rachel nodded but her crying didn't stop. She turned to look at me and I swallowed. Rachel and Blaine both had a way of sucking me in. Each one of them was different but they had the same affect on me, I wanted to protect them. I didn't know how or what it was, but I wanted to save them from whatever it was that was hurting them so badly.

I wrapped my arms around Rachel's shoulders and she fell into me and tried hard to stop herself form crying but failed.

Soon she was sobbing and I swallowed again, pulling her tighter into me. "He looked like this too when we found him," she sobbed.

"Who?"

"Our dad. W-We were walking home from an art showing and Blaine and my dad had went ahead of us, they were racing. It was such a pretty night Kurt. Everyone was so happy. And then... and then..."

"Rachel it's okay. You don't have to tell me this."

"I do. We never talk about it anymore, we all pretend it never happened, and I know Blaine is mad at me because of it. God Kurt he saw it all happen and we don't even ask if he's okay. I'm a terrible sister."

I didn't like Rachel crying and I hated that she was talking badly of herself, but I couldn't bring myself to make her stop.

Not because I liked having her use my shoulder to cry on, but because she was telling me things about Blaine I knew he would never tell me about himself. Blaine seemed like a happy guy but there was something else there behind his smile. I wanted to know why he didn't stand up to Jackson, why he felt so responsible for his sister, why he ran away from his house and sat on benches in the middle of the night, why he looked so terrified when I mentioned taking him to the emergency room. Maybe it was selfish of me to push Rachel when it was obvious she was in pain, but I wanted to know all that I could about her brother.

"What did he see?" I mumbled.

Rachel took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "It was a gallery showing his school had put on. Blaine's a fantastic artist and his artwork is always put on display at the galleries. Even though Blaine always showed him his artwork before he turned it in, our dad still made sure he went to every showing, whether he'd seen it already or not. At the last showing Blaine participated in he won a hundred dollar award. Our dad was so proud of him. We were walking home and they were fooling around and our dad had took the money and pretended to run off with it. Blaine laughed and ran after him and it was funny you know and then...and then we heard yelling and then a gunshot. Mom got so scared because her boys were gone. She made me hold Cooper and went ahead and when I heard her screaming I-I knew something terrible had happened." Rachel took a moment to breathe and I swallowed a knot forming in my throat. I didn't want to hear anymore, I knew enough, but I couldn't stop her now. Now this was for her, she was telling the story because she needed to get it off her chest and I wouldn't rob her of that chance.

"There were some guys in the alley and they tried robbing my dad for money. My dad said he didn't have any and they pulled out a gun. He had a hundred dollars Kurt. It was Blaine's award but if he would have just given it to them then maybe... Anyway, my dad wouldn't give the money up and when one of the guys tried to move in on Blaine my dad stepped in the way. The guy thought my dad was trying to attack him and shot. I had Caroline with me so I couldn't go into the alley but I saw my father when they were pulling him into the back of the ambulance. He looked just like Blaine looks now. He looked so much like how Blaine looks now."

"Shh, it's alright Rachel. Blaine is fine. It's not the same with your father. Blaine isn't your father."

"Kurt I can't loose Blaine too," Rachel sobbed. "He's always taking care of me no matter what I do. You know the night our dad died he came into my room at night and held me while I cried? Blaine was there! He watched it all happen! I should

have been comforting him, not the other way around. But I was glad he was taking care of me. I'm still glad. He has to stay to take care of me Kurt, what am I going to do if he doesn't?"

"There's no need to worry about that." I jumped to my feet, pulling Rachel with me, and looked down at Sam's mom, waiting for her to further explain what she meant. "Blaine is going to be fine. He's got a nasty concussion and he's unconscious right now but thats fine, rest is exactly what he needs."

"So he'll be okay then?"

"In a few days he'll be fine. I've left some pain killers for his head and as long as he sleeps and drinks plenty of fluids the concussion will heal on its own. There is the possibility that he may experience amnesia. If he does though it won't be too intense, just tonight maybe. Now you kids stop worrying and get some sleep. Does anyone need a ride home?"

"N-No I'm gonna stay here," Rachel said then looked up at me when she realized it was my house after all. "Is it okay if I stay here?"

"Same," Tana said, coming to stand next to me. Sam looked at his mom and shrugged and she sighed and pursed her lips, her motherly instincts probably telling her it wasn't a good idea to let two girls stay over a boys, but in the end she didn't say anything. She gave us a few instructions on what to do with Blaine when he woke then kissed Sam goodbye and left us. I gave Blaine and Rachel my bed and Tana took the couch while Sam and I both piled up in blankets on the floor. Soon the stress of the night had pulled everyone into sleep except me and I lay alone on the floor in front of Tana.

I couldn't stop replaying Rachel's story in my head throughout the night. Blaine had watched his father get shot just a few months ago? How was he able to smile so easily? How was he able to do anything so easily? And why had he never mentioned this before?

I sighed and rolled over onto my side, forcing my eyes closed. I thought Blaine was weak and needed protecting, now I was starting to think he was the strongest person I knew.


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: Please review and let me know if you're enjoying this story. Thanks for reading hope you enjoy this chapter - and the new character ;)!**

 **Blaine's POV**

What.

The.

Hell?

The next morning I woke up before everyone with absolutely no memory of last nights events and the biggest headache in the world. If that wasn't shocking enough, imagine my surprise when I roll over to find Rachel sleeping next to me in a bed I've never seen before while Tana sleeps on the couch a few feet away from us and Sam is on the floor next to her. My head hurts so bad it's difficult to focus my attention on one thing, but I sit up anyway and take in my surroundings. The room I'm in is large and the more I look at it the more I realize it's more like an apartment or someone's live in basement.

There's not an actual bedroom, just a huge bed, a living space with a couch, two chairs, a fancy coffee table, and a flat screen TV plastered to the wall in front of it, a bathroom, a small kitchen, and a little room that looks like its purpose may have been a small bedroom at one point, but now it looks more like a music studio. The decorations are limited to black, red or a sleet grey and I know, wherever the hell I am, a guy is the one who live here.

My head throbs and I groan but instead of laying back down, my feet find the floor. They tip toe around Sam and lead me up the stairs-which scare the hell out of me because the stairs are just kind of there. There's no railing nor a wall so all I have

to do is stumble in the wrong direction and I'd fall. It's scary and the movement makes my head hurt, but I make it up anyway and push the door open to the sound of Spongebob Squarepants and the smell of bacon.

Bacon.

In the living room there's someone laying with his feet stretched out on the couch watching TV. I don't see the boy on the couch's face but he has the same indecisive hair as Kurt, sometimes its blonde, sometimes its brown, and the same slightly pale skin only he looks much smaller. I didn't realize I was making any noise but both the boy look up and I put a hand on the wall closest to me to steady myself.

The boy however is Kurt. Like he's not, but he is. The only difference between the two are that he lacks the sexy nose piercing of course, and green eyes but I swear he's the spitting image of Kurt. This Kurt is pretty but I can't help but think my Kurt is prettier.

Ha, my Kurt. More like Rachel's Kurt.

"Are you Blaine?"

My throat is dry and my voice box works for shit. So I just nod.

The guy throws his legs over the couch and walks to the kitchen and, because I don't know what else to do, I follow. "My brother's in the driveway but he told me to make you sit down and eat before you go out there," he mumbles as he pulls a

plate down and sets it in front a stove. A stove which may be my new best friend. There's eggs, bacon, pancakes, fruit, toast, and even orange juice. I don't know who the hell got up so early and made it all but I love them for it. Only I don't want to eat it. I've noticed Kurt likes telling people what to do and, if you haven't noticed, I don't like it very much when people tell me what to do. So, when the younger Kurt leaves I pop a piece of bacon into my mouth and take a sip of orange juice to

help with my throat before walking outside to find him.

I shall not sit down and eat.

When I find Kurt he's outside working on his jeep and the sight is enough to make me wish I'd sat down and eaten.

Maybe then the butterflies I feel in my stomach wouldn't hurt so bad. Kurt's stripped his Jeep of all its doors and pulled the cover on the roof back so it's really just a box with some bars around the seats. Thats not what catches my eyes though.

What catches my eyes is Kurt. He's hunched over in front of the hood of the car messing with something that could be the engine but who really gives a hell when the guy working on them looks like that. He's in tight black jeans and a grey beater that makes it that much more easy for me to stare at his muscles and the tattoos on his arms. His hands and forearms are dirty with grease, he's sweating just enough to make his skin gleam in the sun, his singing along softly to the music he's playing, and his ass looks great when he leans forward like that.

A realization hits me and I'm so excited I forget about my head and allow myself to do a little dance. I slept in Kurt's bed last night I slept in Kurt's bed last nigh I-Shit!

So did f*cking Rachel.

My excitement dwindles but I don't let my spirits drop too much. I'm still the only one awake to see this at least. My feet take me towards the car and I slide into the drivers seat as Kurt looks up at me. The sun is doing nothing good for my

head, but I squint my eyes and pretend it's not there. Yeah, I pretend the entire sun is not there.

That bright light in the sky?

That heat?

That big huge start that is literally scorching me?

Yeah, all of that is just a figment of my amazing imagination.

"Hey," Kurt says, standing to his full height and wiping the grease from his hands with a rag. He covers his eyes with his hand to block from my pretend sun and when he smiles a good morning at me I can't help but smile back.

"Hey," I respond simply.

Kurt slams the hood of the car and as much as I try to pretend that didn't happen too I can't and I wince as the sound rockets through my skull. I groan, dropping my head against the steering wheel.

"How's your head feeling?" he asks.

"Like I want to chop it off. What the hell happened?"

Kurt sighs and reaches across me to turn off the radio. I pretend not to lean back discretely so that his arm grazes my back and I pretend, when he notices and looks down at me, that it was a total accident. I've been doing a lot of pretending

lately. For instance, when he turns to walk back into the house I pretend I wasn't staring at his ass and when he comes back with a plate of food, a glass of orange juice, and a bottle of prescription pills, I pretend he's not the most amazing person in the world. He's even brought me sunglasses to block from my pretend-not-there-sun.

"Come here," he says, setting the food and drink down on the hood of his car. The words sound so beautiful on his lips and I can't stop myself from pretending he means come here as in come here, let me wrap my arms around you, press you

tightly against my chest, and kiss you. "Come here," he repeats when I don't move. This time he grabs my arm and gently pulls me out of the drivers seat, grabs me by my waist, and lifts me up until I'm sitting on the hood of his car next to the plate

of food he brought out for me.

"I'm not a kid," I say, slapping his hands away even though I want more than anything for him to put them back.

Kurt smirks and sits in the drivers seat, leaning back and watching me with that goddamn crooked smile.

"Well, you obviously don't follow instructions very well," he says, looking at the food. "I thought I told you to eat that before you came out here."

"Did you? I must not have gotten the message." I play innocent and pop a piece of toast in my mouth and Kurt smiles. While I eat I ask him to tell me what happened last night and he does. He's a pretty good story teller until he says I kissed Quinn .

"I did not."

"You did."

"I did not."

"You did."

"I di-"

"I could have sworn just two seconds ago you said you weren't a kid," he cuts me off. I feel like he's parenting me but the ghost of a smile on his lips lets me know this is all amusing to him. Only I don't want it to be. I want him to believe me when I say I didn't kiss her.

"Well stop arguing with me then!" I yell, then regret it when my head throbs. Kurt jumps out of the car and grabs the medication, handing me a pill and explaining that it will help with my head. I take two instead.

"I didn't kiss Quinn," I repeat once the throbbing behind my eyes has subsided some. "If we kissed she must have kissed me."

"Well whatever happened Jackson saw it and lost his shit. I tried to stop him but he threw you in the pool and thats where you hit your head."

"I don't think you're doing a very good job as my knight in shinning armor buddy." I say it as a joke but the intensity in his eyes when he looks at me throws me off. I can't tell what he's feeling, but it's obvious that he's feeling something. Kurt

keeps looking at me and it becomes hard to swallow. I feel heavy, like if he keeps looking at me like that he's gonna undo me piece by piece and find out all of my secrets. Then he tells me he knows about my dad and I realize Rachel's already done it for him.

I drop the last of my bacon down to my plate, my appetite gone. So Rachel pretends he never existed around family and refuses to talk about it with me or mom, not that mom wants to talk about it either, but she can open up to a guy she just met

a few days ago?

Fantastic.

Kurt steps closer to me and I want to tell him to go away. I want to tell him to work on his pretending skills and pretend whatever conversation he had with Rachel never happened, because I really don't want to talk about it. Not with

Kurt. Not when all I see is him holding Rachel in his arms while she cries.

"You think it's your fault what happened to him." It's a statement, not a question.

I wish my pretend-not-there-sun would come back and burn us to a crisp so we don't have to talk about this.

"You think they blame you, you think thats why they refuse to talk about it with you."

I pretend he's not reading my mind.

"It wasn't your fault Blaine."

Stop.

"You know that don't you?"

I jump down from where I'm sitting on the car and move to walk away from him but Kurt grabs my wrist and keeps me from moving. Again I try to get away from him but now he's pressing me against the car and he's in front of me. I

remember something from last night. Kurt's standing in front of me giving me the same apologetic and intense stare he's giving me now. The only difference is now it's just me, Kurt, and my pretend-not-there-sun.

And still it's not fair.

"You're breaking me," I whisper, dropping my head against his chest. I'm upset with him again, but I don't really know why. I don't know if it's because he knows about my dad. I don't know if it's because he was close like this with Rachel just last night. I don't know if it's because he's telling me everything about me I pretend isn't true.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I do know, even though I want to punch him in the face, I also want him closer.

Kurt sighs and lets go of my wrist only to hug me. We stand like that for a moment. I don't know how long. I don't know if he's just doing it to comfort me or because he needs it too.

I prentend it's because he cares about me.

When he pulls away he grabs the plate and the now empty cup and sets them to the side before pushing me towards the passenger seat. He gets in on the driver's side and I watch as he pulls out and onto the road. Even though I don't know where

we're going and I'm thinking I should probably call my mom or something, I don't say anything. We drive for an hour. We never pull over and we never stop anywhere. We don't even talk. We just ride. And I'm upset with Kurt even more because it's exactly what I needed.

I just needed a ride.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: This chapter was particularly hard to write but hope you like it. Don't forget to review ;)**

 **Blaine's POV**

"So how has school been?" My mother asks as she passes the potatoes around the table. She looks at me for an answer but I simply shrug and say it's fine. We've lived with my grandparents for a little over a month now and things haven't changed. They love Rachel to death, can't get enough of Cooper, and avoid me as much as possible. I don't mind though, I like that they avoid me. I've been doing good keeping to myself and watching out for Rachel and Cooper. My grades are good, I don't go to nearly as many parties as Rachel, and I handle everything for my mom so she doesn't have too. The only time I may mess up a little is when my grandparents tell me what to do or talk bad about my dad and, since we just don't speak anymore, that issue has been taken care of.

"Oh it's been great! Me and Harmony are thinking about performing together at the showcase next weekend," Rachel says with an excited smile. "And Mr. Miles, my dance instructor, said I've got lots of potential and if I were to perform, be it dancing or singing, I'd probably win."

"I wanna dance," Cooper pipes up from the end of the table.

My mom smiles in his direction and wipes sauce from where it's spilled on his chin. Rachel continues to talk about herself and the rest of the dinner goes by smoothly without any hiccups as the others speak and I simply eat. Soon I'll be free and I'll go to my room, shut the door, and find an excuse to text Kurt. I never just text him hey or simply ask what he's doing because I'm not that brave yet, but I will text him asking about homework for a class I know he's not in or pretend I meant to text Tana instead of him. It sucks that I'm such a coward but I'm not Rachel. I can't walk around the living room talking to him openly on the phone and I definitely can't come home giddy and excited about a boy I have a crush on named Kurt.

Even though I do have a crush on a boy named Kurt.

"Blaine wait a minute." I'm walking up the stairs to my room when my grandfather ask me to stop and talk, which surprises me since we don't talk. I turn around and walk back down the two steps I climbed and follow him into his study, where Rachel and my grandmother are already waiting patiently. I give her a 'whats going on' look and she shrugs. My grandfather tells me to sit down next to Rachel and I decide I feel like standing.

"Your grandfather and I have been thinking and we've decided you two are good kids. You've both been doing well in school and, though one of you has quite the mouth on them-" my grandmother looks at me, referring to the three times now that I've stormed out of the house after an argument. "-you don't give your mother any problems and you have good hearts. So, we've decided to give you a sort of reward."

My grandfather smiles widely like he's proud of himself and steps behind his desk and grabs something. When he steps back around his smile only widens and he holds two sets of car keys in his hand. Rachel screams and my eyes widen.

Car keys belong to cars...

They got us freaking cars!

For once in my life I think I'm genuinely in love with my grandparents and my love for them only grows more when they walk us outside to show us our new cars. Rachel has a brand new white Mini Cooper S Clubman and I have a grey 1969 Ford Mustang. I don't care that hers is brand new or that mine is clearly used and in need of a paint job and a good wash, because what Rachel got is perfect for Rachel and what I got is perfect for me. My car is simple but extremely sexy because it's an old muscle car, there aren't any super high tech gadgets attached that I don't need and it's not similar to every other car you would see on the road. It absolutely perfect.

"We considered just getting one car and letting you guys share but it's pretty obvious that you two have different tastes inpretty much everything."

 _Except men._

"We do have one condition though. The cars are both paid off already but we refuse to pay for gas, which means you'll have to get jobs."

Rachel groans but I don't care, I've been looking for a job anyway. And stupid conditions are really the last things on my mind right now. I know Rachel is thinking the same, but I'm so excited to show Kurt my new car. I feel like he will appreciate mine a lot more than he'll appreciate Rachel's and it scares me how happy the thought makes me.

I pick Tana up for school in the morning and she's as excited about my car as I was last night.

"Blaine I seriously think you just got ten times hotter," she mumbles, running her fingers across the leather seats. I admit my car isn't perfect and needs some work, but it's still a car worth drooling over. And she's right, I feel ten times hotter.

When we get to school I park in the space between Kurt and Puck's car and Sam, who was standing on the sidewalk talking with Brittany, screams my name in surprise when he sees that I'm the one to get out. He drops his bag and stands in front of my car, his mouth open wide in shock and his hands in the air.

"Fuck me if this isn't the most beautiful baby I've ever seen," he breathes, and for a minute I think he's going to cry. "H-How... what...you...why...why you? Me! Why not me?!" I can't do anything but laugh as he lets his hand hover the hood of the car before actually touching it and whimpering. Since I've come to this school all the friends I've made seem to be a level above me in something if not everything. This car makes me feel a little bit closer to them, at least materialistically. I'm so busy admiring everyone admiring my car that I don't notice Kurt until he's next to me and his hand is on my shoulder.

"Try not to get a big head now that you're rolling in style," he jokes.

"I think you've got that covered for the both of us."

"You've never complained about my head size before."

Thats because you've got a beautiful f*cking head.

"Oh I think I have. You probably just couldn't hear me over all the satellite signals you were picking up with those ears." I tug on one of his ears and Kurt laughs and jerks his head away from me. He throws his arm over my shoulder and pulls me into a headlock and I laugh loudly as I struggle to get away from him. We're in a full on wrestling match now and, even though I'm laughing and my arms and legs are moving, I'm freaking out in my head.

 _He's everywhere._

 _He's touching me._

 _He's smiling and it's because of me._

 _Kurt._

 _Kurt._

 _Kurt._

I push away from him and stumble backwards into the parking lot. He yells my name and I'm thinking it's all for the fun of the game we're playing but then I hear a honk and my head shoots in the direction of the car coming my way. It's literally

inches from hitting me when I'm rammed into from the side and my body is thrown hard against the concrete. It hurts like hell but when I realize it's not the car it suddenly feels great. I blink, holding back a groan, and feel a weight on my back when I try to sit up. Someone is breathing hard in my ear, there's a firm hand on the back of my neck, and another wrapped around my waist. The grip is so tight it hurts but again, it's not the car. I wasn't hit.

Thank god I wasn't hit.

Whoever is holding me relaxes enough to loosen their grip some and I roll over onto my side under them and look up at Kurt. He's frowning and he looks angry, but at the same time he looks relieved. He's breathing harder than I am and when I realize he's the one who pushed me out of the way I panic. I want to see if he's hurt anywhere but there's something about the intensity in his stare that won't let me look away. His hand finds the back of my neck and his thumb brushes across my cheek and for what feels like an eternity it's just us. He lays there on top of me with no urge to move, holding my face in his palm, and he just looks at me. I usually don't like it when Kurt looks at me but this time I don't mind. This time I don't feel like he's tearing me apart so much as he's putting me back together.

"Hey! Are you okay?"

The girl who was driving the car that nearly hit me is out now and standing over us. Instantly, our little eternity is brought to a shattering end as Puck pulls Kurt to his feet and Tana pulls me to my own. It was quiet when it was just us but now the world is loud. Everyone is talking excitedly about what just happened, pictures are being taken, people I don't know are touching me and asking if I'm okay, girls are gushing over Kurt saving my life, Rachel is here, her hands all over Kurt as she ask is he okay. And then she's kissing him. _NOOOO! I think I'm gonna be sick._ His eyes are on me and he's turned his head so that the kiss doesn't fully land on his lips, but still. She's kissing him and he's not pushing her away. _LIES._

I wish the car would have hit me.

I wish my father wouldn't have died.

I wish I never met Kur-

Someone grabs my shoulder and I'm yanked from the crowd. I look up and Kurt is pulling me away from everyone and towards his car. He throws me in the passenger seat and throws the car in reverse before speeding out of the parking lot. I don't know where we're going or what his intention is but I realize it when we reach our first stop sign. There are no cars in front of us or behind us but Kurt stops anyway. He never buckled up to begin with so it's easy for him when he leans over the console between the two seats and grabs my face. I'm confused . He looks angry. He looks happy.

And then he's kissing me.

He's kissing me full on and hard and it feels so good I want to cry. I'm surprised but I don't hesitate to kiss back, grabbing the folds of his jacket and pulling him even closer against me, afraid this is some dream and he's gonna wake up soon and

hate himself for this. My lips move against his and his lips move against mine. There's a car behind us now. It's honking.

We don't move.

We don't stop.

Kurt pulls away when the car drives around. My lips are cold and I avoid his eyes because I'm afraid of them. I don't want to see them because I know he's probably thinking of Rachel and regretting what just happened. I know because I'm

thinking of Rachel and regretting what just happened. I wait for him to clear his throat and pull away, pretending we never kissed, but instead he drops his head against my cheek so that I feel his breath on my neck when he sighs, utterly defeated.

"You're so cruel Blaine, always tossing my heart around like that."

I don't know what he's talking about but I want to laugh and call him a hypocrite. If anyone's heart has been tossed around it's mine. As a matter of fact I'm waiting for him to snatch my heart out of my chest right now and throw it out the window, but the longer it takes for him to do it the more hope I have that maybe he won't.

He moves his head and drops his forehead against mine. He's taller so I have to tilt my head back slightly, but our lips, our noses, and our eyes are now all perfectly aligned. When he kisses me again it's softer, sweeter, but it's still just as powerful as the first kiss because it's a kiss from Kurt.

"Thanks for saving me," I whisper.

He smiles that crooked smile I now love more than anything else in the world but it's not as happy as usual. I blink and look up at him again and my heart shatters when I see it.

Regret.

"I haven't saved you yet. Blaine...we need to talk. I think its about time we're honest with each other"

 **A/N:** **Yayyyyyyy! Finally they kissed! And it was good one! Though I could be a little biast considering I'm** **the one who wrote it *cough cough* but anyway, it finally happened.** **What is it you think Kurt wants to talk about? Do you think he really regrets kissing Blaine? An what about Rachel? Anyway thanks for reading, hope that made you happy, and please please please please review. Love you all. And for WankyCriss sorry for the cliffhanger...again.**


	12. Chapter 11

**Blaine's POV**

We ended up grabbing something to eat at a near by McDonald's and then going to Kurt's job to actually sit down and enjoy our fattening burgers. I know that sounds weird, skipping school with someone only to go to work, and I was thinking the same until I pulled up and discovered Kurt probably had the coolest job in the nation. He worked at a music store in town not to far from my house.

What was so great about the store to me was kinda what was so great about my car: it was old and original. The store wasn't high tech or spacious or like one of the modern day stores you'd find in the mall, it was relatively small and packed with isles of cd's, records, dvd's, and a few different instruments. The walls were a dark blue but they were covered with album covers and banners from movies or posters of different artist so you could barely see the paint. I didn't know if I would be here more often now because I liked the shop, because it reminded me of New York, or because Kurt worked here, but I knew as soon as I walked in I would be coming back again.

When we got there the store was pretty much empty besides a young couple who looked to be in there early twenties, and a guy named Ben working the counter. Ben was probably in his mid twenties, had the worst soul patch I'd ever seen, and a head of bright red curly hair. When he saw Kurt and I come in he perked up immediately and smiled.

"Kurt! So glad you're here, I need to take a lunch break and Miles hasn't come into work yet."

"Ben it's nine a.m and I'm not here to work."

"But you are here. Watch the register for me, I'll be back in an hour."

Kurt looked like he wanted to protest but Ben didn't give him the opportunity, he just ran to the back to get his stuff and then walked straight out the front door. It was an asshole move and if I were in Kurt's shoes I would probably be glaring at his shadow too, but, because I wasn't in Kurt's shoes, I couldn't do anything but stifle a laugh. Kurt looked at me and raised his eyebrows in question and I chewed my bottom lip and tried not to smile. It was pretty much pointless and Kurt glared before reaching out and flicking me in the middle of the forehead.

"Not funny," he grumbled, or more like pouted.

This time when I laughed I didn't bother trying to hide it. We pulled up two stools behind the counter and laid our food out in front of us but I was so infatuated with the store that I spent most of the time walking around and looking at all the albums they had, sneaking back to the counter to pop a few fries in my mouth every now and then. Eventually the couple who was browsing left and it was just me and Kurt, which made me a lot more nervous than I thought. I knew we were going to have to talk soon and I was kind of scared. I knew what I wanted to say and I knew what Kurt was most likely going to say, but it still made me nervous.

"Blaine I'm going to eat your burger if you don't hurry up and eat it first," Kurt called from where he was still sitting behind the counter. I had a Katy Perry CD in my hand and set it down before smiling softly and moving onto the next row.

"Go ahead, I'm not really that hungry anyway."

"Well, I am so thanks. Hey will you play something? It's too quite in here for it to be a music store."

"Um sure, yeah." Kurt pointed to a stereo in the back corner of the store and I walked over to it, shuffling through a basket of already opened cd's for me to choose from. I was going to settle on something labeled 'alternative' but stopped abruptly when I saw a cd labeled 'Kurt' in the bottom of the basket. A while back Tana had told me something about Kurt being a music major and my heart skipped a beat. I didn't know if he sung, played instruments, produced, or

whatever, but I knew this album would help me figure it out and because of that I was excited. I stuck it in the stereo and pressed play and an upbeat song filled the store.

 _"Downtown we let it go_

 _Sunset high and our bodies low_

 _Blood rush in the hazy glow_

 _My hands, your bones_ _[...]_ "

"Oh shit," I heard Kurt mumble. He chuckled and looked down, covering his face with his hands, and I swear I saw the man blush. Leave it to Kurt Hummel to make something as adorable and cute as blushing sexy.

 _"_ _[...]_ _Loose up we break the scene_

 _One step deep as you fall to me_

 _Heart clap, we skip a beat_

 _Count one two three [...]_ "

He just blushed and it was probably the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. I felt my lips tingle and remembered our kiss from earlier and swallowed.

"Is this you?" I asked.

 _"_ _[...] a_ _nd don't you stop the music_

 _Get into it_

 _Won't you dance with me?_ _[...]_ "

Kurt chuckled again and looked up, popping a fry in his mouth and chewing before shrugging.

 _"_ _[...] f_ _ind a place and lose it_

 _You can do it_

 _Won't you dance with me?_ _[...]_ "

"Partially. I don't do any of the vocals, I just make the beats and write the lyrics."

"So you're something like a producer then?"

"I guess. Jesus that album isn't even supposed to be in there. Puck put it in last week as a prank but I thought he took it out already."

"Puck works here?"

"And Tana. You know what I actually think we're hiring. You want a job?"

"Really? Y-Yes! I've been looking for one so I can put gas in my car but haven't been able to find one yet. Can I really work here with you guys?"

 _"_ _[...]_ _Move your feet and feel it in the space between_

 _You gotta give yourself a moment, let your body be_

 _We gotta lose it_ _[...]_ "

Kurt nodded and walked from where he was behind the counter to where I stood, shuffling through the basket of cd's to make sure there wasn't anything else in there that shouldn't have been. When he knew the basket was clean of anything else that would embarrass him he moved to take the CD out and I gasped and slid in front of the stereo so I was in his way. I was aware of the fact that I'd closed in on any space between us and we were now so close his chest was nearly brushing mine, his breath was fanning my cheeks, and I could count the number of eyelashes he had, but, as nervous as it made me, I didn't want to move.

 _"_ _[...]_ _Lose it_

 _We gotta lose it_

 _Lose it_

 _We gotta lose it_ _[...]"_

"Don't. I like it," I whispered, referring to his music...I think.

Kurt's eyes bore into mine and I swallowed. The music was loud enough to fill the shop but I felt like my heartbeat was a few volumes louder. At least that was the only thing I could hear anymore. When Kurt had kissed me in the car I didn't see it coming and didn't have enough time to register what was happening and get nervous, but now, with him standing so close and his eyes flicking back and forth between my lips and my eyes, I knew exactly what he was thinking and it made me nervous as hell.

 _"_ _[...]_ _Your name I'll never know_

 _As we get down in the world below_

 _Caught up in an overflow_

 _My hands, your bones_ _[...]"_

The song continued in the back and, even though Kurt said he didn't do vocals much, I couldn't help but think the vocals on this track sounded exactly like him. And by the blush on his cheeks and the way he tried to reach around me to stop the song, I knew I was right.

 _"_ _[...]_ _Wide eyed, you look at me_

 _Set on fire in a silver dream_

 _Spin round you can feel the breeze_

 _Count one, two, three_ _[...]"_

"So you do sing?"

"N-No! Well, I mean kinda. Look sometimes when I want people to sing on my beats they won't unless I do a rough copy for them so they can see how it sounds. This is one of those rough copies." He reached for the stereo again and I grabbed his arm and pushed it away, pressing my back against the stereo so that if he wanted to get to it he'd literally have to pick me up and move me.

 _"_ _[...] a_ _nd don't you stop the music_

 _Get into it_

 _Won't you dance with me?_ _[...]"_

I didn't know why playing his track was so embarrassing, not only were the beats fantastic, but if this really was Kurt singing his voice was fantastic too.

"Blaine seriously, stop and le-"

 _"_ _[...] f_ _ind a place and lose it_

 _You can do it_

 _Won't you dance with me?_ _[...]"_

"Kurt this is really good. I will seriously buy this off of you right now since you don't seem to appreciate the talent you have. You're incredible and I don't know if you know that and thats why you're blushing or you're just really unaware and

if it's the latter then I'm telling you right now that you, Kurt Hummel, are fan-freacking-tastic and you shouldn't let anyone stomp on your talent, not even you. Because I will kick yo-"

 _"[...]_ _Make a spark, break the dark_

 _Find a light with me_

 _Who we are from the start_

 _Won't you dance with me?_ _[...]"_

"Thank you." Kurt cut me off and I sucked in a breath. He had just said two simple words yet, somehow, those words had stopped my breathing completely. I looked up at him and swallowed and Kurt sighed, taking a centimeter of a step back and pushing his fingers through his hair as he looked down at the ground.

 _"[...]_ _find a place and lose it_

 _You can do it_

 _Won't you dance with me?_

 _With me?_ _"_

"W-We should talk now," he said when his eyes were able to find my own again. Now that we weren't so close I felt myself relax some but not so much that I wasn't nervous. I knew we needed this talk but I was afraid after it everything would change. The song changed again to yet another one of Kurt's, and the lyrics along with his hesitant composure was enough to make me want to cry.

 _"Step out into the sun_

 _Skies above they radiate me_

 _Lift up, carry the love_

 _Do you know?_ _[...]"_

I knew, whatever he was about to say, he was saying it because he wanted to be good. He wanted to be a good person.

 _"_ _[...] t_ _hat I've been out of my mind_

 _This slow life I'm waiting for you_

 _To swing me all of your line_

 _Do you know?_ _[...]"_

And it sucked that being a good person meant not being with me.

"Blaine I'm straight." _But you kissed me._

 _"_ _[...]_ _since I've been walking solo_

 _Dreaming you were back home_

 _I find getting down low_

 _Hide until tomorrow_ _[...]"_

"And I-I don't really know what's going on with...with us, but it kinda scares me. I'm straight...and you're a guy. I want to but I can't...I just..."

 _But you kissed me._

 _"_ _[...] c_ _ome back into the good life_

 _Lose these hazy love lies_

 _I've been chasing my mind_

 _Lonely in the cold nights_ _[...]"_

"And then lets not forget Rachel. I'm not saying I'm in love with her or that I even like her like that, but she's a good girl Blaine. I don't want to hurt her by having a thing with her brother." _But you kissed me._

 _"_ _[...]_ _'cause I'm kicking up stones without you_

 _Can't pick up the phone without you_

 _I'm a little bit lost without you_

 _Without you._ _[...]"_

"Blaine I like you I just...it's hard for me. I don't like it when other people touch you and I like being the reason you smile and I don't regret kissing you p-please don't think I regret kissing you Blaine because I don't b-but this is all a bit too new for me. I still want to be your friend I just can't be that type of friend. I can't." _But you kissed me._

 _"_ _[...] a_ _nd I'm digging down holes without you_

 _Can't be on my own without you_

 _I'm a little bit lost without you_

 _Without you_ _[...]_ _"_

Kurt stopped talking and looked at me, his eyes sad and worried while he waited for my reaction. I wanted to cry and scream and punch him and kiss him and cry some more but in the end all I could do was laugh softly. I was being dumped by a guy who wasn't even my boyfriend.

 _"_ _[...]_ _step out into the dark_

 _Where were you when I was trying_

 _To lift up, carry the love_

 _Do you know?_ _[...]"_

"So, there can't be anything between us because you're straight and you don't want to hurt my sister, but you don't regret kissing me and you admit that you do kinda like me and you get jealous when other people touch me?"

"I know I'm not being fair and I know this all sounds crazy, but it's what I'm feeling. And I know this is a cliched statement, but obviously it's me and not you. I just...I'm confused, and I think it'd be best if I avoided all confusion by being honest with you before this goes anywhere it shouldn't."

 _"_ _[...]_ _that I've been closing my eyes_

 _Love me slow, hallucinating_

 _Swinging me all of your light_

 _Do you know?_ _[...]"_

I chewed my bottom lip and nodded. This situation sucked and it was breaking my heart, but, as much as I wanted to be upset with Kurt, I couldn't. It wasn't his fault that he didn't feel the same way I did, or that he was straight and I was gay. It wasn't his fault that he was a good person and cared about the people we would be hurting if we turned this into something and I was selfish and didn't. It wasn't his fault that he was being completely honest and up front with me and I couldn't handle it.

"Are you okay?"

 _"_ _[...]_ _hold me close when it's over_

 _Life goes slow loving sober_

 _Feel my bones getting older_

 _Sadness grows when you're cold_ _[...]"_

He was closer now and I could see his hand hovering near the side of my face. He wanted to touch me but he was afraid he couldn't, and that just confirmed my fears of things changing between us. Before all of this Kurt would touch me freely and, if he felt I needed it, he would pull me in and hug me tightly without hesitation.

 _"_ _[...]_ _'_ _cause I am one step heavy and two steps high_

 _Hold it steady with you by my side_

 _One step heavy and two steps high_

 _Two steps high_ _[...]"_

"I'm fine," I whispered, my voice weak and breaking as the first few tears threatened to spill form my eyes. Kurt sighed and his hand moved forward and wrapped around the back of my neck, pulling my head into his chest as his other arm circled around my waist.

"Jesus Blaine what am I doing to you?" he mumbled, his voice slightly pained.

He dropped his cheek against the top of my head and I realized it was the first time a hug from him felt so suffocating. I didn't know if I was in love with him exactly, but I knew I could see myself falling in love with him, and that made this hurt so much more.

"Kurt," I whispered, pushing him away from me and disentangling myself from his hug, "I understand you. I'm not mad and I'm not going to fight you on this, but please, for my sake, don't touch me."

 _"_ _[...]_ _'cause I'm kicking up stones without you_

 _Can't pick up the phone without you_

 _I'm a little bit lost without you_

 _Without you_ _[...]_ _"_

"What?"

"Please don't touch me again. Not like this. Please."

Kurt moved to say something but a clearing of someone's throat distracted us. I tensed and Kurt turned around, blocking me with his back like he didn't want anyone to see me, and I craned my neck over his shoulder to find Puck

standing in the doorway.

 _"_ _[...]_ _i'm a little bit lost without you_

 _Without you._

 _Without you."_

"Puck, how long have you been standing there man?" Kurt asked with a weak chuckle.

Puck slid his hands in his jean pockets and shrugged. "Long enough," was all he said.

His eyes darted over Kurt's shoulders to look at me and I quickly wiped my own eyes. How embarrassing was this?

Not only had I been rejected, but now Puck, Kurt's best friend, knew exactly what had, or hadn't I guess I should say, been going on between us. I was worried Kurt would get in trouble and their relationship would change or something because of me, but when Puck finally moved and came to stand in front of us, I was surprised by what he said.

"I think I'm going to take Blaine back to school with me."

Puck said it with a smooth and even tone but something about his words made Kurt tense. I didn't get it, but Kurt stood in front of me a few seconds longer than he should have and, because I was still leaning around him to see what was going on, I was able to see a small fire light in his eyes as him and Puck seemed to have some sort of stand off.

Puck opened his mouth to speak again but Kurt told him to shut up and stepped to the side. He glanced at me quickly before smiling softly and turning to walk back to the register. I felt like something was wrong, like he and Puck had some

sort of conversation I couldn't hear and now the atmosphere between them was tense, but I couldn't bring myself to ask what happened. Because, as selfish as it was, I was kind of glad Kurt was upset. Maybe now he could feel a little bit of my pain.

So, instead of comforting him like I would have if things between us weren't so...confusing, I left the store with Puck.

We didn't go back to school, and I think Kurt was so upset because he knew that we wouldn't.

 **A/N: Soooooooo? What do you think? I now that rn you wanna slap me so hard. Sowwyy. ;P** **But do not fear my beloved readers. Can you understand where this is coming from? Now that Kurt has admitted being straight, where do you think things will go with him and Blaine? and things between the Anderberrys? Please please please please *lottie's voice* review and, if you wouldn't mind, maybe spread the word about it ;)? Yes I'm begging here NO. SHAME. Thanks again everyone for reading.**

 **Songs:**

 **"Lose It" by Oh Wonder (Remix Version)**

 **"Without You" by** **Oh Wonder** **(Remix Version)**


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry for the issue. Thanks to "The-power-of-love"**

 **Kurt's POV**

I couldn't sleep. It was nearly two a.m and I had school tomorrow and my body was sore from the run in with the car earlier today, but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking of Blaine.

God I felt like shit for the way I treated him today but I felt like I had to do it. When I found him in the hall that day getting harassed by Jackson I really didn't care, I just wanted Tana to stay out of the middle of it, but then our eyes met and immediately I wanted him to stay out of the middle of it too. Blaine was in the process of getting his ass whooped and his face was bloody and his nose looked broken but there was a kind of light in his eyes that I couldn't help but admire. When he was making jokes about it in the bathroom I couldn't help but admire it even more. Ever since that day we first met Blaine has been doing something to me and I didn't know whether I liked it or not, but I knew I didn't exactly want it to stop. I lived for that light in his eyes and I wanted to protect it with everything in me, but today I had been the one to put it out.

And for that I felt worthless.

I sighed and rolled over onto my back and watched the ceiling fan above me twirl. I loved the fact that my dad had let me move into the basement once I started high school. I was big on my own space and liked that my brother couldn't mess with me anymore and my dad couldn't just barge in like he used too, but tonight the basement was too spacious. It was big and empty and the only thing that seem to fill the space were thoughts of Blaine.

Thoughts that made me hate myself even more.

 **"Please don't touch me again. Not like this. Please."**

What the hell had that even meant? Not like this? Had I been touching him a certain way? Was he telling me I could never touch him again or I just wasn't allowed to hug him? And on top of that was I the only he was putting on restraints?

Could anyone else touch him like that? Could Puck?

The thought of my best friend made me cringe for the first time in the many years that I've known him. Puck was practically my brother and I knew we'd always be brothers, but it kinda pissed me off today how he just inserted himself into our conversation. I hadn't been done talking to Blaine and if; Blaine wanted to go back to the school I would have taken him.

There was absolutely no need for Puck to even skip and show up and there definitely wasn't a need for him to take Blaine away from me like tha-

Shit!

There I go again, pretending Blaine is mine and everyone else is stealing him from me. How selfish could I be? I care for Blaine I know I do but I don't think I'll ever be comfortable enough to give him the relationship he needs. I kissed him today and I kissed him with as much passion as I would kiss someone else, but as far as anything else goes I didn't think I'd be able to do it.

So, I did the right thing and told him that. It hurt me and I know for a fact that it hurt Blaine but I'd feel even worse about myself than I do now if I were to lead him on. Blaine wasn't mine and probably never could be, I knew that and I'd made sure

he knew that as well, so why the hell did the idea of anyone else having him piss me off so much when I was the one letting him go?

Sighing for the millionth time that night, I rolled over onto my side and squeezed my eyes shut, praying for sleep. I wanted to see Blaine. I wanted to see his eyes. I wanted to talk to him or hear his voice or something. I just wanted to know that he didn't hate me and things hadn't changed between us. But that was selfish of me. I'd hurt him today, it was only right that I give him the space he needs to get over it.

I sat inside the studio room for club activities with Mercedes instead of going to lunch today. Call me a coward, but I was afraid to face Blaine and Puck at the same time, not because I thought they had something going on necessarily, but because I

didn't want to see the hurt in Blaine's eyes or the judgement in Puck's. Besides, Mercedes was much better company anyway considering she can't keep her mouth shut all I had to do was prented to listen.

Mercedes really wasn't my friend if I was going to be honest. She only came around because she had a huge crush on Sam and when he rejected her feelings and started parading Brittany around as his new girlfriend, her pride wouldn't let her run away and show how hurt she really was. So every now and then she'd come hang around as if to prove that Sam hadn't turned her into one of those girls who gets their heartbroken and lives off of chocolate and Netflix for the rest of their lives. And it's not like she could blame Sam anyway, to this day he still has no idea that she ever liked him or that she still does.

"This song is more depressing than usual," she mumbled from where she sat on the couch behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and swallowed. I didn't know why, my music is pretty much what gained me my popularity at this school so I know it's good, but I always got nervous when people listened to or read my music. So I especially hated it when curious girls dug through my stuff and opened my lyric book and then told me my newest lyrics were depressing.

"Well," I grumbled, snatching the book out of her hand, "maybe thats because they're about a depressing topic."

Mercedes opened her mouth to respond but someone cleared their throat and we both looked to the door. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Puck was seriously going to have to cut it out with this sneaking up on people crap.

"Hey Puck," Mercedes smiled, calling him by the nickname he hated.

"Hey Mercy," he replied, calling her by the nickname she equally hated. "Mind if I talk to Kurt for a minute?"

"You kicking me out? What, there some kind of tension in the bromance?"

"Goodbye Mercedes."

Mercedes smiled before sending a look my way and skipping out of the room. Once she was gone Puck shut the door behind her and took a seat on the couch where she just was. I was playing a track and turned the volume down but not all the way

because, honestly, I didn't have anything to say to him. I wasn't upset with him but I was annoyed. He was my best friend and I was bound to tell him everything, but I knew he was here to talk about Blaine and I didn't want him in our business.

At the same time though I was glad he was here because it was killing me not knowing what they had done yesterday after leaving the music shop.

"So, you and Blaine eat ice cream and talk about all the reasons you hate boys?" I asked, pretending I was too focused on the sound board in front of me to actually look at him. I was being an ass but so what, sometimes I felt like being an ass.

"No, we actually went to my house and made out."

I tensed before I realized he was only teasing me. So Puck felt like being an ass too I see.

"I'm not going to talk to you if your back is going to be turned towards me the whole time."

I spun around in my chair and looked at Puck. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans. For the first time I actually looked at him and frowned when I realized he was pretty attractive. I didn't know why, but it pissed me off.

"What do you want?" I asked.

Puck looked at me and folded his hands in his lap before shrugging. "Just to talk," he said casually. "I did see you basically confess your love for a boy yesterday and then deny it all in the same breath. I feel as though it's my duty as your best friend to talk about this with you."

"I didn't confess my love for anybody. And if you wanted to be such a good friend and talk you could have spoken to me yesterday."

Puck's casual smile twitched in annoyance and I raised my eyebrows, practically daring him to say anything. He probably wanted to punch me in my face but I didn't care.

"I don't want to be a good friend I am a good friend, which is exactly why I took Blaine yesterday."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you being a selfish prick when it comes to relationships. Face it Kurt, you're like a little kid. As soon as something peeks your interest you want it all to yourself and don't want to share. You don't even take the other party's feelings into consideration until you've practically broken them. Yesterday you did good with Blaine. You thought about him and you told him the truth and stopped yourself before you could really hurt him, but when I showed up you were seconds

away from canceling all of that out and ruining him."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You were going to kiss him Kurt! After all of that, after everything you said, you were going to kiss him again and give him the false hope that maybe one day things would change. And then, because he wouldn't deny your kiss and because you'd figure out a way to justify it, you'd keep kissing him until one day he woke up and decided he wanted more than a few casual kisses and you would run away with your tail between your legs like a coward because thats too fucking much for you.

Thats why I'm a good friend Kurt. I saw that shit coming from a mile away and before you could fuck it up I stopped you."

I looked at Puck and clenched my jaw tight. I wanted to punch him. I seriously wanted to punch him so hard I'd knock out all of his teeth and ruin that attractive face of his, but I knew the only reason I wanted to punch him was because he was right. Everything he had said was true. Yesterday, if Blaine had stayed with me, I would have ruined any chance of a friendship that we were still clinging onto. I sighed and looked to the floor, too ashamed to look Puck in the eyes, and he

sighed as well and dropped his head against the back of the couch.

We were both quiet for a while and then Puck spoke up. "Of course I can't lie completely. I also did it for Blaine."

I snapped my head up in his direction. "So you like him too?"

Puck was quiet for a minute and the fact that he had to think about it got under my skin more than it should have. As far as I knew Puck was straight and I wanted to point that out to him but I couldn't exactly talk now could I? When he spoke again what he said made me relax some, but I still couldn't shake the obvious point that he had in fact had to think on it.

"Nah man, you're still the only one who wants to do naughty things to him," Puck chuckled, "but yeah, I care about him. That kid is just... I don't know. Something's off about him and I want to help fix it."

I nodded, understanding Puck completely. Blaine was holding himself back. He blamed himself for what happened to his dad and now he's playing everything safe. I wanted to fix that too, but I didn't know how.

"You know he showed me some of his sketches?"

"What?"

"He's like you with your music, I basically had to force him to even show me one picture, but, also like you, he's amazing. It's sad though because all of his work is so depressing. He smiles everyday and always seems to be happy or in a good mood,

but his sketchbook is filled with nothing but sad sketches and photos. I don't...I don't want what he shows us to be just a sketch while what he draws in that book of his is reality."

I leaned back in my chair and chewed my bottom lip. Somehow Blaine had managed to capture us all it seemed. I was jealous that he had everyone's attention, but I was also kind of glad that my friends were the kind of people that they were.

Blaine needed help, he needed real friends and he needed to be able to live his life for him again, not his mom or sisters, and I knew that goal couldn't be accomplished with just me.

"I have a gig at a club this weekend. Think he'd enjoy a night in the city?"

Puck looked at me and his lips twitched up in a sly smirk, knowing damn well what our nights in the city were like and knowing damn well that there was no way we wouldn't make sure Blaine had fun.

 **A/N: idk why Kurt's POV is harder to write. Don't forget to review :).**


	14. Chapter 13

**Blaine's POV**

"Blaine you have to come!"

"Tana are you sure he even wants me to?"

It was Friday night and tomorrow I was supposed to be leaving with Tana and the others for a weekend trip to the city and, as excited as I was when Puck first told me about the trip, I was kinda rethinking whether or not I should really go. The purpose of the trip was to support Kurt at the club he was going to be DJ-ing at and I really didn't know if I was in the position to do that yet. I hadn't talked to Kurt in two days and, even though I personally didn't want things to change, I didn't know if he felt the same way.

It was bugging me so much that I had to talk about it with someone. Rachel doesn't know I'm gay and even if she did I still wouldn't talk to her, whether she was my sister or not going deep with each other was just something we did not do and

Puck was Kurt's best friend, whether he supported me or not, so the only one left to talk to was Tana. Who I'm now realizing I've been completely neglecting these past few days. For a best friend there was a lot I still needed to tell her.

So I told my mom I was going for a walk and did just that, calling Tana on the phone and filling her in on pretty much everything, including my father and how I felt about his death. Was it selfish of me to keep the kiss strictly between us though? I didn't know why I wanted to, clearly it didn't mean the same for Kurt as it had for me, but for some reason I just, well I wanted something to just be ours.

"Blaine I'm telling you it was his idea to invite you! Look things may be a little strange right now but I'm telling you it's gonna be fine. Even if he can't see himself in an actual relationship with you, he can at least admit that he cares about you. If

thats true I can't imagine him letting your friendship go to waste."

I looked both ways before crossing the street. I decided to wear a jacket and actual shoes this time but the night air still whipped through my clothes and hair and made me shiver. I considered walking further and maybe even going to the music

shop to see if either Puck or Kurt was working but decided against it, crossing the street and heading back to my house.

Tana had done a pretty good job in calming my nerves and what she was saying was reassuring, but there was still a part of me that was nervous. I'd liked Kurt for a while now and when I was still hiding my feelings because I thought he wanted to be with Rachel things were okay. Now that they were out in the open though I was afraid I wouldn't be able to go back to just keeping quiet and acting like nothing was wrong.

I'd just been doing that for a bit too long already.

"Look Blaine, if not for anything else at least come on the trip for you. It'll be two days of absolute freedom and it sounds like you could use some freedom in your life."

I sighed. That part at least was true. "Yeah you're right. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. Thanks Tana."

"I love you hobbit."

"Love you too Tana," I chuckled and hung up the phone then slid my hands into my pockets. I still had some nerves about going on this trip but Tana was right, I did need a break. I cared about Kurt a lot but I decided that, even if this trip was to support him, I wouldn't let him dictate my life and I wouldn't wait around for him. He told me how I felt and I knew how he felt.

All I could do now was move on.

Puck pulled over in front of the hotel we'd be staying at and Rachel bounced in her seat next to me. I would have preferred it if Rachel stayed at home but I had to admit we'd been getting along pretty well on the ride over here. She didn't talk about Kurt at all and we laughed about old memories of trips we went on together as kids, planned what all we were going to do tonight, and even made fun of Puck for driving like a grandmother, something he responded to by increasing the speed to eighty in a sixty mile per hour speed zone.

Kurt didn't make the drive up here with us because he had made it the night before and was already inside. When we parked we grabbed our bags and headed inside the nice hotel and I couldn't help but swallow when I saw him sitting in the lobby with a smile on his face as he talked to two people I didn't recognize. Puck called his name and when he looked up, his eyes finding mine first in our small crowd, I squeezed Tana's hand next to me. Christ it hurt so badly seeing him. It hurt because I knew he didn't want me the way I wanted him and it hurt even more knowing that I was silently racking my brain trying to figure out ways to not care. I told him not to touch me anymore but when I seen him, wearing tight black jeans a loose tee and that sexy crooked signature smile and walking my way, I really just wanted to reenact a scene from Gone With The Wind and run into his arms where he would catch me and kiss me hard and passionate in front of the sunset.

"Dude you're drooling," Tana giggled.

I wiped my mouth quickly and blushed in embarrassment, causing her to laugh even more. We reached the area where Kurt was sitting and he and the other two people stood up and hugged everyone as they exchanged hellos. When it was my turn to say hello to Kurt I gave him a soft smile and a pathetic little wave.

"Hey."

"Hey," he said, returning my smile with one of his own. God this was so awkward. Kurt looked perfectly fine standing there and smiling at me but I knew my hands were sweating and I was probably blushing like crazy. Why the hell did he always stare at me like that?! I looked away quickly but the tingling in my back told me Kurt was still staring, so I spared a glance over my shoulder in his direction and, sure enough, he was staring still.

"Blaine!" I flinched when someone called my name and looked back up only to come face to face with a guy covered in tattoos and a buzz cut. "Whats up man?! You probably don't remember me, Kurt said you got conked on the head and forgot everything the night of the party a while back, but I'm Jake, Puck's young brother. This is my girlfriend Marley."

"Hey again Blaine," she said with a sweet smile.

I looked between Jake and Puck and tried to find a resemblance but, besides their intimidating builds and maybe the same colored eyes, they didn't look a lot alike.

After settling into our rooms, the girls sharing one and the boys sharing the other, we spent the rest of daylight touring the city. I tried my best to stick with Tana or Puck most of the time but Tana was being herself and was pretty much all over the place and Puck and his older brother were tied together at the hip. Of course Sam and Brittany were coupled up and Rachel and Marley seemed to be hitting it off pretty well, which meant Kurt and I were stuck together.

"Hey," Kurt mumbled as we walked down a crowded street towards a karaoke bar, the others all laughing and talking a few feet ahead of us. "Thanks for coming on this trip with us. I would have asked myself but I was kinda scared you'd say no

if I did."

"Kurt I don't hate you," I said with a weak laugh. Kurt slid his hands into his pockets and laughed in embarrassment, his arm brushing my own as we walked.

"I know I just...well I guess I don't know," he said with another chuckle. He looked at me and I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled. This was still kind of awkward to me, but it felt good to know I wasn't the only one afraid that our friendship was going to change after our little confession.

"So, you think you're going to dance tonight? Maybe get drunk and let loose a little?" he asked, cutting through the awkward silence in the air.

"Careful Kurt, it almost sounds like you want me to have fun."

"Maybe just a little bit."

He smiled and I moved my lips to smile back but stopped when I realized just what his words were implying. Maybe I was thinking too much of myself and giving myself more credit than I deserved, but the thought crossed my mind that maybe the whole point of this trip was for exactly that: For me to have fun.

I stopped walking and looked out across the street to avoid Kurt's eyes for a moment. Part of me felt like crying, part of me wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him, and another part of me wanted to punch him the face for being so amazing.

How the hell was I supposed to move on when he kept doing things like this?

How was I supposed to let him go when he wasn't letting me go?

"Blaine?" I felt his hand on my shoulder and turned into him, his eyes locked with mine and his lips wet. I took a step closer and felt his body tense but he didn't take a step back.

"If I asked you to stay away from me would you do it?" I whispered.

Kurt jerked his hand away from me and frowned, obviously taken back by the question. He opened his mouth to say something but closed his mouth quickly after. He looked down at me, at the seriousness in my eyes, and swallowed as he forced his lips into a thin line. That was all the answer I needed.

"You know you're breaking me right? I can't be with you and you keep telling me to move on and let you go, but you're not giving me any space to breathe Kurt. Everything is all you like...like I'm covered in this big blanket of you! Even when you're not there you're still there because I can't stop thinking about you. Do you have any idea how suffocating it is to like someone that much?"

Kurt sighed deeply and shoved his fingers through his hair, messing it up completely. When he looked back at me he looked older by a few years. His eyes had sunken in, his shoulders slacked, and he looked incredibly guilty. I knew he wasn't trying to hurt me on purpose and he was probably just as frustrated as me, but it was hurting all the same.

"Blaine I'm sorry. I know I'm being selfish and if you want me to leave you alone or stay away I will, I just...I want you to be happy Blaine. And as hard as I try and as much as I know I'm probably one of the main reasons you're not right now it's a

lot harder than I thought it would be to just let you go."

I sighed and let my arms drop to my side before leaning forward and dropping my head against his chest. He hesitated before wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug and I groaned. It felt so right being like this with him. It honestly felt like I was supposed to be here in his arms just like this yet he kept pushing me away and pulling me back at the same time.

"I'm sorry Blaine," Kurt whispered, his voice muffled as he pressed his face into my hair.

I sighed and simply wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tighter. "It's not all your fault. It's not like I'm trying very hard to push you away either."

"So what do we do then?"

I shrugged. "I guess we're both going to be miserable until we can figure that out. But, until then, I don't know about you but I'm gonna go embarrass myself and sing some karaoke and then tonight I'm going to get drunk off my ass and forget about this for a while."

Kurt chuckled and the rumble I felt in his chest was almost enough to make we want to stand there like that forever.

But I knew we couldn't and pulled away slowly. Kurt smiled softly and reached out towards my face, his thumb caressing my cheek.

"I'm sorry I'm doing this to you Blaine."

"It's fine Kurt, really. Come on, lets go catch up with the others."

I turned to walk and Kurt followed closely behind me. The crowd on the street was pretty large and forced us together as people brushed my shoulders and kept bumping into me. It was annoying me and I was honestly about two seconds away from punching an old lady in the face when Kurt's arm looped around my shoulder, pulling me protectively into his side. I felt my cheeks tint with blush and swallowed as I looked down at my feet.

I seriously didn't know what the hell was going on between us, but if he wasn't going to let me go then I wasn't going to let him go either.

 **A/N: Not my best chapter, I know but please still review, love you all! Also the lack of reviews just told me to never ever write Kurt's POV again hehe.**


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: Lets read from both POVs ;) love you all!**

 **Blaine's POV**

I thought I'd be stuck thinking about Kurt the rest of the day but Puck and Sam pretty much assured that wouldn't be possible. Karaoke wasn't really my thing and I had planned on sitting it out and just applauding everyone who did go, but Sam and Puck created a game where everyone had to go at least once, the group picking what song they would sing. I didn't think it was fun but seeing Sam jump on a table and sing along to Bieber's Baby, Tana rapping along Problem, Puck delivering an excellent performance of Etheridge's I'm the Only One and Kurt performing Adam Lambert's Ghost Town was probably enough to keep me distracted for another year. _Specially Kurt and his angelical voice_. While me, Marley, Brittany, and Rachel pretty much just performed the songs we were assigned while trying to embarrass ourselves as little as possible, the others really went all out, Kurt even adding some choreography.

It was probably the most fun I'd ever had in my life and all I really had to do was sit there. After Karaoke we went and ate at a diner not to far off. Apparently Kurt and Puck came to the city a lot and we're regulars there and knew the owner, which was probably the only reason we didn't get kicked out because we were not acting like children with home training.

"Sam I swear if you take one more of my fries I'm gonna beat your ass," Kurt fussed, throwing a dirty napkin at Sam.

The booth we were sitting in was one of those big rounded ones and I sat between Kurt and Puck, Puck reaching over me stealing some of Kurt's fries while Kurt was distracted with Sam.

"You should watch behind you Kurt," Rachel laughed.

Kurt spun around just in time to see Puck shoving his fries into his mouth and glared. "Excuse me Blaine," he said, literally standing up and climbing over me to tackle him while Puck screamed and called Rachel a snitch. The others all laughed and I slid into Kurt's spot, stealing a few fries of my own.

Just like at the karaoke bar, we spent the rest of the time eating and joking around. At one point Tana even dared Kurt and Puck to go over to another table where there were two girls sitting and eating and make up their own language.

We watched as they sat down, smiling and flirting with the girls in words thats weren't even words really, just mumbled sounds. Puck even went so far as to put his hand to his chest and give a fake name before putting his hand on the girls chest and saying her name, reenacting the scene from Tarzan. I nearly died of laughter and because of me the girls realized Puck

and Kurt were just messing around. I laughed and smiled the whole time, but my heart clenched in jealously when I saw one of the girls give Kurt her number anyway.

"God he's such a pretty bastard. Sometimes it's not even fair how attractive he is," Rachel chuckled from the seat next to me. Instead of getting upset about her liking him too, I just smiled back. She was completely right.

Kurt paid for me and Rachel's meal which made me feel a little special but the fact that he paid for Rachel as well kind of canceled that out. I knew he had to though, if he just paid for my meal it would look a bit suspicious.

On the walk back towards the hotel Tana was on Puck's back and I was on Kurt's as the two boys raced down the street, me reaching out and pushing Puck in the shoulder.

"Blaine stop cheating!" he yelled as I laughed and tried to push him again.

"It's not cheating it's winning!" Kurt laughed and moved his hands so that he could lift me up further onto his back.

It was a pretty normal thing to do but Kurt and I were not normal friends so when his hands moved further up my thighs and closer to my ass I couldn't help but blush. We got back to the hotel and had two hours to relax before it was time to get ready. I was sharing a room with all of the boys but Jake, Marley, Puck, and Tana all wanted to go downstairs and raid the lobby and Sam was in the other room with Lissa and Rachel so that meant it would just be me and Kurt in the room.

When he opened the door I walked in after him and went straight to one of the beds and collapsed on top of it, hiding my face in one of the pillows and saying I was tired. The truth was my heart was beating a mile a minute because I was alone in a room with Kurt and every time we're alone something seems to happen between us. Kurt tossed the key down and

kicked his shoes off before laying down in the other bed, his arms folding over his eyes and causing his muscles to flex and his shirt to rise up a bit. I rolled over onto my back and chewed my bottom lip. This was seriously going to be hard. Of all the boys at the school I just had to fall for the most attractive one. How the hell was I supposed to ignore my feelings when he looked like that?

"Blaine?"

My eyes snapped up from where they were locked on the 'v' of Kurt's stomach and I blushed when I caught him looking at me. He raised his eyebrows and smirked and I just groaned, reaching behind me to grab my pillow and throw it at his pretty ass.

"Shut up."

He laughed it was probably the prettiest sound I've ever heard. "Hey, I didn't say anything."

"Well you were thinking it so shut up and leave me alone. It's not my fault you look like that."

"It's not mine either!"

I rolled over onto my side and turned my back to him and Kurt laughed. The room was quiet for like ten seconds and my heart had cooled down to a normal beat when the bed sunk in next to me and I gasped, rolling over only to slam my nose against Kurt's chest.

"Ow! Kurt, get out of here!" I moved to punch him but he grabbed my wrist easily and pinned them on the pillow over my head, I gasped and looked up at him, swallowing when I saw the look in his eyes. His lips were parted slightly and his eyes were darker than usual, looking at me like I was actually something worth looking at. Looking at me how I probably

looked at him all the time.

"Have I broken your heart yet?" he whispered.

I swallowed again and licked my lips. "N-Not yet. Maybe cracked it a little, but it's still beating."

Kurt's lips twitched up into that crooked smile and he chuckled softly. "I should really stay away from you Blaine."

"Then why don't you?"

"Same reason you don't make me."

"I can't."

"Neither can I."

"Seems to be our problem then."

"Seems like it."

I swallowed and squirmed beneath him some. I really really really wanted to kiss him. Like you know how when you have an itch on your back or something and you can't scratch it you either get someone else to do it or rub it up against a wall?

Yeah thats how my lips felt. I sure as hell wasn't going to rub it up against a wall so kissing Kurt seemed to be the best option. After all it wasn't like I was doing it because in this moment he looked hot as hell and he was kinda making me horny as hell. No, no it was purely for the purpose of scratching my lips.

"I really want to kiss you right now."

 _Shit! Who said that? Did I say that? Oh crap I think I said that_.

"I-I mean my lips itch."

Kurt chuckled. "Puck told me I can't kiss you. Apparently I'm selfish and if I kiss you I'll be giving you hope for a relationship."

I looked at the position we were in and laughed dryly. "I think we've passed that point buddy." I meant it as a joke but the grimace on Kurt's face made me regret saying it. He sighed before letting my wrist go and rolling over and away from me.

"Blaine we can't do this. We've gotta figure out a way to stop."

 _If it were that easy I would have stopped a long time ago._

I sat up on my elbows and chewed my bottom lip. I was actually trying to be a good kid and think about a plan but then Kurt screwed me over when he reached up and pinched my chin with his fingers, pulling my bottom lip from beneath my teeth and slowly caressing it with his thumb.

"That for instance. Don't do that," he said, his voice low and his eyes hooded.

It took everything in me not to whimper because Jesus Christ if he wasn't fücking me with his eyes. Instead of pulling his hand away he kept his hold on my chin and his finger on my lip and I swallowed, my heart leading a marching band in my chest.

"I-I don't like it when people tell me what to do."

"What if I ask nicely?"

"Since when do you ask for anything Kurt," I whispered.

He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes for a moment as if he was trying to keep himself from saying or doing something he would later regret. When he opened them again they were clearer and more focused but they still carried that look that had my lips itching. He dropped his hand and sat up, pushing himself off the bed.

"Tell me something bad about yourself."

"What?"

"Thats how we're going to stop this. Whenever something like this happens or you start looking at me like that-"

"You were definitely looking at me first."

"I was not!"

"Says the man who climbed into my bed."

Kurt tried to speak but I raised my eyebrows, daring him to disagree, and he rolled his eyes and smirked. "Whatever. Bottom line is whenever we get like this we have to tell each other something bad about ourselves so that were not as attractive anymore. And I really need you to not be so attractive right now, so come on, hurry up."

"What if I don't want to tell you a flaw?"

"Blaine."

"Fine fine. When I was a kid Rachel took the last blue raspberry popsicle so I ripped off all of her barbie doll's heads and tried to flush them down the toilet."

Kurt's eyes lit up and he smiled from ear to ear. "Over a popsicle?" he laughed.

"Shut up. Your turn."

Kurt chuckled and shook his head. "All right um...one time a girl I didn't really like-I don't want to call her ugly but, yeah-asked for my number and I gave her Puck's instead."

I fell back against the bed and rolled over into the pillow, laughing loudly. I didn't think this little game was doing much to make him unattractive, but at least it got rid of the lusty atmosphere in the room. Kurt and I spent the next hour telling each other flaws about ourselves before the other came back and we started getting ready. Kurt left first so he could be there on time and the rest of us showed up to the club about an hour after him.

The club was pretty packed with people and as we cut through the line to go straight in-courtesy of VIP passes Kurt had gotten us-I realized a lot of it was because people wanted to hear Kurt's music.

"Does he come down here a lot?" I yelled over the music as we walked inside.

Puck leaned down to respond so he wouldn't have to yell. "Pretty much. He doesn't really like DJ-ing, he's more of a producer really, but the money is good and it gets his name out there. Come on, lets go get a drink."

"I can't! I don't have a fake ID!"

"Why the hell do you think I'm here?" Puck looked at me and smiled before throwing his arm over my shoulder and guiding me through the crowd. I looked up at the DJ station and smiled once I saw Kurt.

 _"[…] I've hooked in, there's no escape_

 _Feeling I can't explain_

 _You're still around, yes, I need your face_

 _Kinda like every day_

 _'Cause I, I'm addicted to you_

 _You make it so hard_

 _With everything you do […]"_

There were two girls dancing on the platform behind him but he was paying them no attention as he focused on filling the loud club with music that got people's hearts pumping. I don't know if it was because he felt me staring or because Rachel screamed his name from behind me, but he looked up for a moment and our eyes met. He smiled and I smiled back, for once not blushing or thinking about anything dirty.

 _"[…] Everywhere you go_

 _Hope I'm beside you_

 _And everywhere you go_

 _Hope I'm beside you[…]"_

 _I was just happy. If I thought the day was good the night was even better._

 _"[…]Hold me in your arms_

 _Won't you hold me all night?_

 _Nobody should ever need to know_

 _It's alright[…]"_

Maybe it was because I wasn't thinking about Rachel and how to watch out for her, maybe it was because I danced with Tana the whole night, maybe it was because I just really wanted to support Kurt, or maybe, and most likely, it was because Puck got me drunk but that night was a night that would be burned in my memory forever.

 _"[…] All night, all night_

 _All night, all night […]"_

My dad was dead, my mom was drowning herself in work, my grandparents were asses, my sisters life was pretty perfect, and I had the biggest crush on a guy who could probably never like me back, but shit if I wasn't happy in that moment. I danced with anyone who would dance with me and didn't stop to take a break until my hair was damp with sweat and I felt like I needed an asthma inhaler. Kurt got done with his shift at around one in the morning but we stayed until two probably. At one point everyone in my little group had sat down but still I stayed on the floor, jumping to the beat of a song I didn't know and not caring at all about the bodies that I bumped into or hit. For just a moment it felt like I was free.

For just a moment I felt like I was me again.

 **Kurt's POV**

I stood on the balcony of the second floor watching Blaine. A smirk etched permanently onto my face. The kid really could dance. _Look at him. Moving_ _those legs. Moving those hips._ _Wait, STOP!_ Just look the smile on his face, that's what mattered this night. That was what made this whole trip worth it.

I took a sip of the beer I was holding in my hand and swallowed. Blaine was complicated. How I felt about Blaine was just as complicated. How I felt about Blaine dancing with someone else was even more complicated. But sometimes things were clear as day. It didn't make sense and if you asked me which part was complicated and which part was clear I probably wouldn't be able to give you a straight answer, but I could tell you without having to think about it at all that Blaine was special. Special to me. And no matter what happened at the end of the day he would be okay. He was strong like that. He was happy when he was free. I took another sip of my drink and swallowed.

"What the hell are you doing Kurt?" I muttered. "What the hell are you doing?"

 **A/N: Song "Hold me" by Kilter ft. Youth.** **Remember that Kurt is a DJ/Producer in this AU so I made this: [bit . ly / 1JMjYBs] also made a "Desire's" playlist so you can listen while you read, or just listen ;) If you want to suggest songs for the playlist or for the story just tell me :). [spoti . fi / 1j703bm]**

 **Reeeeeeevieeeeeewwwww ppppllllllleeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeee!**


	16. Chapter 15

**Blaine's POV**

The following week after the trip I settled back into my average life of doing nothing, ignoring my grandparents as much as possible, avoiding Jackson, and trying to be the perfect little boy for my mom. Slipping back into that routine kinda sucked but things were different now. I couldn't put my finger on what exact it was that was different but my chest just felt lighter for some reason. For the first time in my life school was the best place ever and I had friends I actually wouldn't mind being around everyday all day. Maybe I was still holding back and maybe I was still too focused on other people's opinions of me and keeping them happy, but it was all worth it as long as I got to spend at least one hour with someone who I could be myself around.

Like now for instance. I was downstairs in my parents basement painting on a huge canvas Tana had bought me while she and Puck sat on the other side of the room laughing and talking and pretty much eating all the food I had in my pantry.

My grandparents were gone at some casino somewhere, Rachel was with friends, and my mom and Cooper were out on some mommy and son date so I basically had the house to myself. I'd invited Kurt over first but he was out running errands for his dad and said if he could come he'd show up late so I left the door open for him just in case. Sam and Brittany were also out running around like the happy couple they were so Tana and Puck were the only ones I could catch but I didn't mind considering I was probably closest to them anyway.

I laughed at a joke Tana made and wiped the sweat from my brow. With such a large canvas I wanted to fill it as much as I could only I didn't really know what I wanted to paint, just that I wanted to paint something great. Believe it or not, when I first put the pencil in my hand and just let my fingers take over, I ended up with a huge portrait of Rachel. We may have some issues, or a lot of issues, and she may kinda be trying to bone the guy I'm head over heels for, but as much as I want to I can't bring myself to hate her. Rachel always has been and always will be my sister and I love her to death, besides, it's not her fault she likes Kurt, the bitch is a beautiful motherfucker who gets all she wants after all-but I haven't exactly been honest with her about me being gay or even the fact that I like Kurt. I'm not saying if I were to tell her she'd be the perfect sister and just lay off, but I do think she'd at least feel as conflicted as I do.

"Dude if you had any skills with a needle I'd seriously let you do my next tattoo," Puck said from his corner, tipping the bag of Dorittos back as he finished them off.

"If I wasn't terrified of needles I'd probably take you up on that offer. How many tattoos do you have anyway?"

"Just two but I'm up for getting a third one. I think me, Kurt, and Miles are supposed to go get one next week actually?"

"Miles?"

"He works at the music shop with us," Tana pipes up. "You'll meet him at the end of the week probably."

I nod and go back to my painting. I had completely forgotten about the job Kurt offered me considering right after that he basically told me he could never be with me, but after Tana found out she's basically been breathing down my neck about since we got back from the city. I don't mind though, the shop is awesome and it helps that I already know more than half the staff. My first day is tomorrow with Tana and Kurt.

"So, are you going put that in the showcase this weekend?" Tana asked, smiling down at the canvas as I add texture to it.

I clenched my jaw and smile softly before shaking my head. Apparently my school has three showcases a year and with the first one coming up it's been the only thing on anyones mind lately. Sam and Brittany, who both major in dancing though Sam does a lot of singing too, will be performing together, Rachel is singing - _obviously_ , Mercedes is acting in a short play with some of her friends, and Tana and Puck are doing something together. Tana sings and Puck majors in film so apparently they made a music video to a song she wrote about heart break, Puck's brother Jake playing the ever tempting bad boy in the video while Tana plays the innocent girl who gets stucked into trouble before falling in love and quickly getting her heart broken afterwards. I haven't seen it yet and I haven't heard Tana sing but I wouldn't be surprised if it ended up being the best music video I've ever seen.

"Um no, big showcase things like this aren't really my thing," I lie quickly. The truth is I love showcases like this and if I wasn't so scared from the last one I probably would have submitted five pieces of work by now. I want to participate and I know my mom wants me too also but I just can't. If I do, the only thing I'll be able to think about is my dad and how the last time I saw him was after a showcase, a showcase he only came too because of me. It hurts and I know I should stop, but the only thing I can think is he would have never even been out that night and gotten himself killed if it weren't for me.

"Blaine?" Tana whispered, her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her and frowned when I saw her blurry silhouette looking back at me. I widened my eyes with a soft smile and quickly cleared my throats, sighing in relief as I managed to swallow the knot in my throat and force my tears away.

"Hmm? Sorry, did I say something stupid?" I chuckled and tried to lighten the mood but the sombre expressions on their faces told melt me it was too late to just play it off like nothing happened.

"Are you okay?" Puck asked, pushing himself off the wall and coming closer as well. He didn't touch my shoulder like Tana did but his presence was enough and before I could stop myself tears were pouring down my eyes and staining my shirt as they dripped from my chin. I laughed awkwardly and tried to wipe them away but it wasn't working. I really didn't know why I was such a mess, I was actually happy, but it was impossible not to cry for some reason. It was like I'd had a bandage on and they'd ripped it off by being here with me and now I was open and exposed. I tried to cover myself back up with another band-aid and pretend everything was okay but Tana's hug and the hand Puck now had on my back made that impossible.

"I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing," I sobbed, burying my head in Tana's shoulder.

"It's alright," she whispered back.

"Just let it out," Puck whispered.

I nodded and cried for a moment longer before we heard footsteps running down the steps. I gasped and tried to pull away from Tana but wasn't quick enough. Kurt flew through the entrance to the basement with a huge smile on his face but stopped as soon as he saw the tears in my eyes. His own eyes widened and his face hardened and his lips formed a thin line as he stormed across the room, snatching me from the floor and pulling me hard into his chest.

"I'm here," he whispered, and without warning my knees gave out as I began to ball. I clung to his shirt tightly and he held me without a word as I got everything out. As grateful as I was for Tana and Puck and as much as I loved them for helping me, I knew Kurt's hug was what I really wanted and that alone probably made me cry more tears. I wished we had a romance like in the movies were it was a little bumpy at first but once we got over things it was smooth sailing but I knew that wasn't for us. Things were still bumpy and they probably would be for a while, but Jesus Christ if I didn't feel safer in his arms than I felt in anybody else's.

When my sobs were no longer sobs and just little whimpers Kurt pulled back and cupped my face in his hands. I sniffled and looked up at him and he smiled before pinching my cheeks like a grandma.

"Smile," he said, pulling my cheeks away from my face so my teeth were visible. I didn't feel like smiling but it came easy somehow and soon enough not only was I smiling but I was laughing.

"You're so weird," I chuckled, slapping his hands away when he tried to pinch me again.

"But I made you smile didn't I?"

He did. I smiled softly and wiped my eyes and Kurt ruffled my hair. I took a breath and sighed, seriously embarrassed but at the same time feeling a lot better than I did earlier. Again, everyone in this room somehow made my chest feel lighter than it had before.

"Thanks guys. Sorry for breaking down on you like that it's just..."

Talking about my dad in my family had kinda become something we just didn't do anymore. I didn't know why and it annoyed me just as much as it had earlier but I realized, as I was trying to talk about it with my friends, that I was the same.

There was a lot I had to say but damn if it wasn't hard.

"Well go ahead," Kurt said, sitting down next to Puck, who slapped him on the back of the head and told him to be more sensitive.

"I am being sensitive," Kurt pouted. He looked up at me and smiled softly and I swallowed, his smile doing things to my heart that it shouldn't have been able to do. Tana sat down next to him and soon enough they were all looking up at me with soft smiles. I swallowed, each one of them making me nervous but still making me extremely happy and grateful for them at the same time. Kurt leaned back against the wall and I opened his arm and I swallowed as more tears poured down my cheeks. I crawled into his lap, not questioning how this may have looked or how contradicting he was being because damn if this wasn't exactly where I wanted to be, and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You want to talk about your dad, and we're here to listen. Anything you want to say you can say. You can be you with us Blaine. We're your friends. We're your family. Just get everything you need to off your chest. You don't have to do it alone anymore, we'll hold the weight for you."

I looked at Tana and she smiled softly, her own eyes watering with tears. She crossed her legs and nodded with an eager smile, her hand wrapping around my own to encourage me. I looked at Puck next and he crossed his legs in front of me and leaned back on his hands. He was big and intimidating sometimes but with his goofy grin he wore on his face he didn't looked like anything more than my friend. This sharing of feelings thing probably wasn't his cup of tea and I could imagine he wanted a cigarette more than anything but he was still here for me and that meant more than he'd ever know.

After smiling at Puck I turned and craned my neck back to find Kurt's eyes already on me. After my dad died and my family just kind of shut down I followed suit and shut down too. It was all I could do not to go crazy. I wanted to do things with my life, I wanted to say things and go places and I wanted to be able to talk about my father and move on like I needed too, but I was starting to get scared that I'd never be able to do that again. Now, with Kurt holding me and my two best friends waiting patiently with support, I felt like maybe I could say what I wanted and it would be... well it would be alright.

 _My dad was dead and I blamed myself._

 _My family was cut off and cold and I blamed myself._

 _Rachel was faking being perfect and, as much as I got upset with her for it, I blamed myself._

 _My mother was overrun with work and I blamed myself._

 _Cooper cried and had nightmares and I blamed myself._

 _I was shut off and was refusing to let myself connect with people and speak my mind and I blamed myself._

Up until now everything bad that has every happened to me I've blamed myself for it. But now I sat in a circle with good people who cared about me and for once I could blame myself for something good.

Kurt sighed and kissed my temple quickly before telling me to go on and I melted into the feeling before basically opening my heart to all of them. I said whatever would come to mind and probably ranted for an hour without giving them any time to say anything but none of them seemed to mind. I told them the good memories and the bad memories and the in between memories. Everything and anything I could think to say I said and by the time I actually got to talking about my dad I was happy when I was able to do it without breaking down and crying again. Just like Kurt said they held the weight I was carrying on my chest and I felt like I could breathe again.

There was one more weight I had to carry by myself though and when Rachel came home an hour after they left I decided it was time to free myself.

"Hey big bro," Rachel said with a smile as she walked into my room and flopped down on the bed next to me. "I saw that painting in the basement," she said with a smile before kissing my cheek. "Thank you for that. It's beautiful as usual and it made my day."

"I'm glad you liked it. Did you have a bad day or something?"

"No, it was fine I guess. It's just, I don't know, all the pressure of the showcase? Apparently Kurt and his music are pretty popular at school and he ends up making tracks and music for a lot of people to perform to during these showcases but this year he's kinda been denying everyone for some reason. My friends know I like him and they were teasing me about him and I thought maybe I'd ask you know? He's been rejecting everyone lately but I thought maybe he would say yes to

me... maybe he liked me too. I don't know, it was probably a stupid hope for me to have," Rachel mumbled and I felt my heart clench at the defeated look on her face.

"He said no?"

"Pretty much. I really like this guy Blaine but he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me and I can't figure out why. He's not mean and he never just flat out rejects me, in fact he's the sweetest guy I've met and he only makes me like him more while he acts like he doesn't like me at the same time!"

"I know the feeling," I grumbled, thinking back to when he held me in his arms only an hour ago. "Have you um...have you ever kissed?"

Rachel scoffs which gives me more pleasure than it should. "I tried to kiss him that day you guys nearly got hit by a car but he shoved me off and ran off with you. What happened that day by the way? Why'd you skip?" Rachel turned to look at me and I swallowed, knowing this would be when I had to get rid of the final weight on my chest. I've always known I'd have to tell Rachel eventually and she's always been the first person I've ever wanted to tell, but that doesn't make this any easier. I know she's not the type of person to hate or judge anyone for their life choices, but I don't know how she'll react when I tell her my life choice may be interfering with her own.

"Blaine?"

I swallowed and chewed my bottom lip for a moment, thinking hard about how exactly I was supposed to phrase this. In the end I had a full speech prepared and I was going to ease into it with grace and drop little hints along the way so she wouldn't be so surprised when I finally said the word, but once I opened my mouth I ended up looking like an idiot and just blurting it out.

"Rachel I'm gay. I'm gay and I have a serious crush on Kurt and he knows and thats the reason he's been refusing to take you out or like you back. It's because of me."

I feel the weight on my chest lift and breath deeply with a sigh of relief only to feel it come back again, heavier this time, when Rachel stand slowly and looks down at me. Her face is blank and I wait for her to say something, I even apologize and whisper her name but she doesn't say anything. She doesn't leave though so I know she wants to talk, I just don't know how to begin. I've said my piece and now I need her to say hers. I love her, I really do, which is why her silence is literally terrifying me right now.

I swallowed and tried to say her name again but before I could speak she turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I hear her own door slam down the hall and flinch. For the second time that day I broke down and cried, only this time there was no one there to hold me.

 **A/N:** **Please review and let me know what you think! How do you think Rachel feels? Is this good for Blaine? Now that Blaine's everything is out in the open for everyone do you think things will change?**


	17. Chapter 16

**Rachel's POV**

"Rachel."

 _I can't believe Blaine is gay. After nearly a week of thinking about it in long showers and avoiding him and most of his friends I still couldn't believe it. I mean I have no problem with people who choose to be gay or anything else for that matter._

 _But Blaine? My twin? Was he really gay?_

"Rachel. Hellooooo."

 _I know because I've been avoiding him he probably thinks I hate him but I've realized the problem isn't the fact that he's gay or even that he likes the same guy I do, but it's the fact that I didn't know. I mean Blaine was my twin for Jesus Christ sake and we were actually twins and everybidy knows that they got along pretty well! He knew everything there was to know about me and the fact that I didn't realize something big like this about him made me feel terrible. I mean I know all the stereotypes aren't necessarily true but shouldn't there have been something about him or his personality that gave it away? Shouldn't he have been a little feminine or something like that?_

"Rachel!"

 _I only say that because now that he's told it to me I know he's totally a bottom. Lets face it, he's not big enough or sexy enough to be a top which means he's a bottom and- oh god he's a bottom. My brother is going to be the one taking up the ass!_

I cringed and quickly covered my eyes as if that was going to stop the mental images I was having. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that I was imagining Blaine having sex or the fact that I could imagine it so vividly because now that I knew he was gay I felt like he belonged there. I mean if it wasn't my freaking brother it probably would have been normal looking but oh god now I'm imagining other people having sex! Ugh! What the hell is wrong with me?!

"Earth to freaking Rachel!"

I jumped when Levi when grabbed my shoulders and gave me a quick shake. I'd been so distracted with my thoughts I hadn't even realized he was talking to me. Levi was my partner for the showcase. My voice instructor thought we would be a good pair and recommended us working together and, because he was a complete stranger after all, I was kinda nervous to work with him but he's actually pretty great. It helps that he's also very cute. I won't go so far as to say we're best friends or anything like that, but we have gotten closer and I do consider him a pretty good guy. I like his company though I have no idea if he likes mine. Especially if I'm just going to stand here all day imagining gay sex instead of practicing like we're supposed to be.

"Where the hell did you just go? You looked like you were in pain or something," he chuckled softly, lifting his arms and reaching the ceiling as he stretched. I gave an embarrassed smile and sat down on the ground, positioning my legs out in a long split and reaching for my toes.

"Sorry I just... I've got a lot on my mind lately."

"Do share," he said as he moved into another stretch.

I looked up at him and chewed my bottom lip. Levi wasn't the type to get caught up in the latest gossip around school or go run and tell everything I said, but I didn't wanna add telling Blaine's secret to the list of bad things I'd done as a sister.

"My um, my friend, just told me he was gay. I don't have a problem with it of course, but I feel really bad about not knowing before all of this. I mean we've known each other since our diaper days and he knows everything about me but I didn't even know his biggest secret. I should have been there to support him and instead I was too caught up with myself and, get this, liking the same guy he had a crush on. I just feel shitty and I feel even shittier now because I've been avoiding him recently."

Levi thought about everything I said for a minute then shrugged, as if it wasn't that big of a deal. "Well, then stop avoiding him and tell him what you just told me. Simple."

He smiled then turned and walked across the room -which was bare with fake hardwood floors and black walls, the entire left wall being nothing but mirrors- to where the radio was sitting in the corner. Levi was tall and precise and elegant when he dance and sing, but he had a kind of lazy walk. He never walked anywhere in a hurry and he didn't pick his feet up enough which meant he tended to trip over thin air a lot. I hadn't noticed it before but now that I was looking at him, I realized I hadn't noticed a lot about him. I'd been so preoccupied with Kurt that I hadn't even looked at another guy, including Levi apparently.

He really was cute but it's just my luck that when I finally notice him he has a new girlfriend.

"But what if he hates me? I kinda acted like a female dog when he first told me, you know?"

Levi crouched down and made sure the CD was the correct one before coming over to me and shrugging yet again. "I have a female dog and I happen to love her very much," he said in all seriousness.

I frowned up at him and tried to hold back a laugh as I punched him in his arm. "Levi I'm being serious! I messed up and I need your help!"

"Rachel relaaaax. So you didn't realize your friend was gay? I doubt all the unicorns and rainbows are gonna be that mad because you didn't realize you were friends with one of their fellow fairies."

My jaw dropped and, as much as I wanted to laugh, I punched him in his chest again. "Don't be an ass!"

"I was kidding!" Levi said, laughing loudly. He rubbed his arm where I punched him and chuckled softly before looking down at me with a smile. "My aunt is a hardcore lesbian and she and her girlfriend practically raised me. All my jokes

are just that, jokes Rachel. But if you want my advise I still don't think this is as big a deal as you're making it out to be. Just tell him the truth. You feel terrible about not realizing this before, you're sorry, and you accept him. If you're as close of friends as you say I'm sure all he really wants to hear is that you accept him."

"But I-"

Levi reached up and quickly cupped my face in his hands. It was sweet and gentle at first and I think I may have actually blushed, but then he decided to make a joke out of it like he did everything and pressed my cheeks together so they were big and my lips were puckered like a pouting little girl. He laughed and I glared but I doubt it was effective.

"Asshole," I muttered.

"Just stop thinking so much and tell him how you feel. He's your brother after all right?"

I got home around nine that night and my plan was to do exactly what Levi said. I was going to walk inside, take a shower, and then barge into Blaine's room and tell him why I'd been avoiding him so much lately. My plans however, didn't exactly count on coming home to war world three happening in my living room.

My grandparents sat on the couch and Blaine sat in the reclining chair across from them, all sharing an equal glare of hatred. Usually Blaine did pretty good at avoiding them at all means but it's hard to ignore someone completely when you're living in their house you know? My mother had tried to stop their arguments but it was pretty much useless, which was exactly why she was sitting at the dining room table with a glass of wine and looking completely drained.

"All we're saying is it seems to be a pretty stupid reason not to enter your artwork because of that," my grandfather said through a clenched jaw.

"And all I'm saying is I don't care."

I wouldn't say Blaine had a temper really but he did have a low tolerance for people who annoyed him or disrespected the ones he loved. It was unfortunate that my grandparents happened to do both.

"Whats going on?" I asked, stepping into the room in hopes to relieve some tension. Cooper, who had been laying on the floor by Blaine's feet, stood up and ran over to me and wrapped his little arms around my waist in a tight hug. "Grandma and Grandpa are mad because Blaine doesn't want to participate in the showcase."

I looked up and swallowed, meeting Blaine's eyes for only a second before he looked away. He never talked about it much and I doubted he would admit it to my grandparents or even my mom for that matter, but I knew Blaine blamed himself for our fathers death. The only reason we were out that night was to see Blaine's art in a similar showcase to this one. It wasn't Blaine's fault and there was nothing he could have done, but the fact that we were out for him couldn't be denied.

"How ungrateful can you be Blaine? We give you a car, we let you live here, and we pay for you to attend a performing arts school so you damn well better participate in it young man," my grandpa seethed.

"Everyday I go to that school I participate old man! And as far as all that other stuff you only do it so you can brag about what good grandparents you are to all your stuck up country club friends! It's my art and if I don't want to enter it then I won't!"

"Don't raise your voice at us! You either enter your art or we're taking your car privileges away as well as the time you get to spend with all of your delinquent friends!"

Before Blaine could say anything else I grabbed his hand and quickly drug him upstairs. I got that he was mad and I knew my grandparents were being unreasonable, but Blaine was yet to understand that screaming and talking back never helped. I pulled him into my room and shut the door behind me as he snatched his hand out of my grip and began to pace the room.

"Well, did you have a good day?" I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but I could tell by the glare he sent my way that I wasn't helping. "Sorry," I muttered.

"I have to go."

Blaine moved for the door but I jumped up and blocked his path. I understood that he wasn't in such a great mood and maybe bringing this up after such a huge argument with our grandparents wasn't the best idea, but Levi was right, I couldn't avoid Blaine anymore.

"Listen can we talk?" I asked softly.

"I've wanted to talk for about a week now but you tend to walk out on me, why can't I walk out on you?"

Ouch. I swallowed and chewed my bottom lip before looking down slightly. So that one hurt, but it wasn't like it was completely untrue. Blaine, the always caring big brother, saw my reaction and sighed before sitting down on the edge of my bed and running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for," he mumbled.

I sat down next to him and shrugged. "But it wasn't a lie. Blaine I, um, I'm really sorry. About everything. When you told me you were gay and that you liked Kurt I just...well I freaked out. It's not because I don't accept you, please don't think I don't accept you because I fucking love you Blaine, it was just a lot and more than anything, I felt like it was a lot I should have known. I mean Blaine how did you deal with me?! I must have been such an ass, sitting there and making you listen to me as I droned on and on about Kurt, the guy you liked. How did you even deal with me?"

"It's not your fault Rachel," Blaine said with a soft smile, "You didn't know."

"But I should have known. You know everything about me Blaine and I don't even have to tell you half the time. I didn't mean to avoid you or act like I did that night I just...well I was embarrassed. I really am sorry Blaine. Can we be good again?"

"Of course we can be good again," Blaine said, pulling me into a tight hug. I smiled and relaxed into him, happy to be worry free and happy to know that there were no more secrets between us. Of course things would be different now, it'd be hard keeping this from mom and I had a million questions, but they couldn't be that different could they? I was still Rachel and Blaine was still Blaine.

After talking a little while longer we decided to head out for ice cream. We went to a cold stones not too far in town and we're sitting and eating our ice cream when I realized something.

"So, what exactly are you and Kurt?" I asked, smiling when I saw Blaine blush deeply. I wasn't going to lie and say my feelings for Kurt were just gone with the snap of a finger, but I'd known for a while now that there would probably be nothing between us so it was easy for me to fall back for the sake of Blaine.

"Um nothing really I guess. I like him and he knows it but there's never going to be anything between us."

"Well why not?"

"He's straight."

"Blaine, if he was really straight then, and I mean this in the most supportive way possible, we would have hooked up a long time ago. The fact that he refused me for your sake means he obviously likes you back."

"No no, nothing like that. I mean we...well we've kissed once, but like immediately after he told me it would probably never happen again," Blaine rushed out, glowing red like a tomato.

"Oh my gosh Blaine you've kissed!"

"Yeah but like I said it was only once. He's straight Rachel, he's made that pretty clear."

"Everybody's got a little bend in them somewhere Blaine. It's our job to find it and bend it some more."

Blaine scooped a spoonful of chocolate ice cream into his mouth and looked confused. I didn't know if it was because he was gay and I had some odd affinity for gay people, but he looked absolute adorable all confused and pouty like that.

This would be easy.

"How are we supposed to do that?"

"Duh. Your little sister is going to teach you how to be a tease."

 **A/N: Sooooooo you've finally gotten your update! Was it good? How do you feel about Rachel now? Sorry it took a few. Pleaseeee don't forget to review *pouty pouts*. Thanks so much for sticking around.**


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: Two updates in a week. YAY! Don't forget to review**

 **Blaine's POV**

"So, what exactly does she plan to teach you?"

I finished reorganizing the CD's –I've only worked here for a day and already I'm annoyed with customers who pick up things and put them down in the wrong place- and gave my shoulders a casual shrug. Today was the day of the showcase and also my first day of work. As much as I wanted to stay home with Rachel and help her prepare, I couldn't exactly miss my first day now could I? Not to mention I didn't exactly mind being out of that hell hole I was forced to called home. I was still refusing to enter anything into the showcase and even though I'd tried a hundred times to convince my grandparents that I'd missed the deadline, they were still like little leeches sucking all the joy out of my life with their pretentious asshole views on everything. They just didn't get why I didn't want to show my work. In their eyes not only did I have to be perfect at everything, but I had to be perfect and gloat about it too.

I finished stalking the R&B section and turned my attention back to Tana. If we were being honest I was still a little embarrassed around her. I mean the last time we saw each other I did cry and break down like a hormonal teenage girl. I was kinda nervous she would treat me like a nutcase and act all cautious around me, like if she said or did something wrong I would break. But, thankfully, she treated it as if it never happened and if she did happen to bring it up she talked about it as if it was completely normal to have a breakdown out of nowhere. She really was great.

"I honestly have no idea. All she said was that she was going to teach me how to be a tease and then, when I asked what she meant, she just smiled and told me to leave everything up to her."

"Well, at least she's on your side now. I was beginning to think she was a total bitch," Tana said, rolling her eyes as if just the idea of my sister used to disgust her. Part of me wanted to get defensive and immediately stand up for Rachel and even get mad at Tana a little for calling her that, but that would make me a hypocrite.

"I know, I didn't like her very much either at the time, but she didn't know how I felt and she was only doing what she thought would get her the guy. It's not her fault everyone seems to like Kurt."

The little bell over the door rung and Tana and I both looked up as Kurt and Puck, both in all of their intimidatingly sexy glory, walked in. It was nine o'clock but they both looked like they had just woken up. Kurt was wearing plain jeans and the navy work uniform shirt, his hair was a blondish brown perfect mess, and his eyes were shut as he yawned loudly. Puck didn't look much better. He was in jeans as well but if he was wearing the work shirt it was hidden under a light gray hoodie. There was a sleepy frown on his face and before he walked in he sucked the life out of a cigarette before tossing it behind him. I was so distracted with how good they both looked, tired or not, that I didn't notice the guy walking behind them until he was already in the shop and shrugging his jacket off.

This guy was much more awake and actually looked happy to be here. He had bright brown hair and was, dare I say it, really cute. I thought he was a customer until he shrugged his jacket and was wearing the same shirt as the rest of us. He must have noticed me staring because he looked up and his eyes met mine immediately before he smiled softly.

"Good morning boys, glad to see you finally made it to work," Tana said, hoisting herself up onto the cashier counter and crossing her arms over her chest. She looked like a mom scolding her three teenage sons. I chuckled and Puck sent a nod in my direction before heading straight towards the break room, Kurt yawned again and sat in the chair behind the counter before dropping his head against it, and the guy I didn't know just smiled and stood on the other side of Tana, looking up at her like an innocent little angel.

"Not my fault T, my ride was the guy who just went to the break room to take a nap. Who's this?" he pointed to me and I couldn't help but avert his gaze. It wasn't like I liked him or anything but he was attractive.

Like damn.

Kurt sat up and cleared his throat. "This is Blaine. Blaine, this is Sebastian."

"Oooh, you're the new guy?" Sebastian said, as if that somehow made him understand me better. I nodded and he smiled, holding out his hand for me to shake. I shook it with a smile, but it was a forced one. There was something about the way he was looking at me that made me want to hug myself. Sometimes Kurt would get a hooded look in his eyes and he would look at me as if he was undressing me too, but it was different with Kurt. With Kurt it was calm and there was more than just lust in his eyes. This guy Sebastian looked like a cannibal and I was his next meal.

"Sebastian come help me with something!" Puck screamed from the back. I flinched some, his voice startling me, and was finally able to snatch my hand away from him. With one last look, Sebastian went towards the back with Tana leaving just

Kurt and I in the front.

I swallowed and cleared my throat, looking at everything but him. Last night we had spent nearly three hours talking on the phone. The first hour was spent by me venting about my grandparents and how much I hated them and the second hour was spent by me apologizing for taking up so much of his time. Of course he didn't care and said he was happy to talk to me, which of course made mood one hundred percent better. Kurt and I talked as if we were the best of friends ever, like there was no weird gay-straight denied love drama between us at all, and by the end of the phone call I was positive I liked him even more than I already did.

And that thought alone suddenly made me incredibly nervous about Rachel's idea. Things now weren't perfect between us but they were good. What if teasing him didn't make him want me more, but turned him off completely? But then again, even the idea that it might work made me just as nervous as it not working. I mean, if you haven't guessed already, I wasn't exactly a tease. Just the thought of teasing him had the opposite affect and teased me. I was probably gonna have to flirt right? Well what if he flirted back? Oh god there was no way I was gonna be able to tease him then. I'd give into that man's every wish with the snap of a finger.

"Blaine? You okay?"

I looked over at him and swallowed before nodding, my cheeks hot with blush both from this eyes being on me and from how attractive Kurt looked in the mornings. He studied me for a moment, trying to figure out if I was being honest, before he nodded and decided to let it go.

"So, how do you like the job? Dressing to impress huh?" he said with a chuckle towards the end as he looked at the khaki pants I was wearing. So I'll admit it, I was extremely overdressed compared to everyone else and their jeans, but this was my first job! I was allowed one day to be nervous and make a bad judgement call. I wouldn't admit that though. So instead, I decided to put Rachel's plan into effect early and try my luck with flirting.

"Oh no, the impressing comes when I undress."

I said it casually and like it was no big deal but even Kurt was surprised by my answer. Who looked taken back at first and I was worried this was a terrible idea and I was making a full of myself but then, to my GREAT satisfaction, his crooked

smile slowly drew across his face and he straightened up, his eyes brightening some.

"Someone seems confident."

"Maybe I have good reason to be."

"Maybe. You try to impress a lot of people Anderberry?"

"Only those worth impressing."

"And how exactly would one become worthy?"

By this time Kurt had folded his arms across the counter and had leaned across it so that his face was close enough for me to see the specs of green and yellow in his blue eyes. His eyes flashed down to my lips and I sucked in a quick breath as they

parted, tingling as I remembered what he'd done the last time he looked at my lips. I swallowed and racked my brain for a response but had none. The short hesitation was enough to ruin the mood and, like usual, Kurt realized what was happening and pulled back some.

"You should probably tell me something bad about yourself now," he whispered.

I opened my mouth to tell him something but hesitated once again. The whole point of telling each other our flaws was to keep our minds from wondering, to settle ourselves down if you know what I mean. Any other time I would have told him something, but not only wasn't it annoying when he always got close then pulled away, but I was a tease now supposedly, it was my job to keep him wanting.

"Thanks again for getting me this job, I really like it here."

Kurt looked up at me and waited and when I didn't say anything else, his eyes widened slightly once he realized I wasn't going to say anything. I smiled and walked off to the back to go find out what Puck and the others were doing, leaving

Kurt behind the front desk staring after me. I smiled to myself. This may not be so hard...

When the showcase came around I sat in the back with my family and those two adults I called grandparents. The school's auditorium was filled with to the rim with people but the auditorium was so big nothing felt tight or crowded. I was wearing one of the new outfits Rachel had gotten for me from the retail store she worked at and, even though when I was puting it on I didn't think it was anything special, I was getting lots of compliments from the people I knew at school.

Apparently, the first step to being a tease was always looking good and my polo shirts and bowties just weren't going to cut it anymore. It had been an argument just getting Rachel let me wear a pair of jeans I already owned and not making me go out and buy new ones!

"Blaine who that?" Cooper asked, shifting in my lap and pointing at Mercedes, her dark hair and red lbig ips standing out in a crowd she was talking too. I opened my mouth to tell her it was a friend of mine but stopped when I saw the figure standing behind her. Miraculously, Jackson hadn't spoken to me in a long time and with no speaking came no bullying as well. Things had been so normal at school, excluding Rachel avoiding me at the time, that'd I'd almost forgotten he even existed, but now, Coopers's chubby little finger pointing at him, I was crudely reminded that he did. He saw my stare and sent a glare in my direction and I rolled my eyes before shifting Cooper on my lap so he could look at something else.

Thirty minutes later I was still stuck between my grandparents and the lights in the auditorium had dimmed. The principal as well as a few teachers came out and did a little speech on the schools history and the importance of performing arts and eventually everything started. There were a lot of different talents performed, some I didn't even recognize. And when Rachel and her partner came out to sing I stood to my feet and cheered and was pleased that a lot of the other people in the auditorium did as well. Not only was the song catchy and free, but it was a breath of fresh air after all of the slow contemporary performances we'd already seen. I was positive they were going to win.

There were a few more acts after my sister's and I was surprised when Jackson stepped onto the stage with nothing but a guitar looking thing. I'd always wandered what Jackson talent was, he was such an asshole I just couldn't imagine him doing anything good, but if I had to pick something the last thing I would have picked was music.

"Oh my gosh he's so hot. Did you hear he finally gave up on Quinn?" a girl in front of me whispered to her friend.

"Quinn has always been a whore and it's about time he realized it. But he's only okay. I prefer Kurt."

"Well Kurt isn't exactly an option now is he? I heard Allison will be coming back soon."

The girls shared a look of hatred and I wished more than anything that I could interject or at least join them.

 _Allison? Who the hell was that?_

I wanted to figure out who and felt my brain beginning to wander off onto all the other possibilities but, believe it or not, Jackson's singing distracted me until I completely forgot about it. For him to be such an asshole he was an incredible singer and when he was done I even found myself applauding him as well. That is, until his eyes found mine in the crowd and his cocky smirk fell into a frown immediately. I flicked him off and, amazingly, his smile returned as he laughed. It was weird, but it felt like the friendliest interaction we'd ever had.

There were only two more acts after Jackson and I was thankful for when it was over. Rachel and her partner came in second place and Jackson fourth. Not that anyone cares about him but whatever.

After everyone accepted their rewards I held a sleeping Cooper in my arms and was walking towards the exit with my mother, my grandparents had stopped to speak to someone, when someone came up behind me and pinched my waist.

I turned around and smiled widely up at my friends. Kurt, being in the front, winked at me then focused his attention on my mom.

"Hey Mrs. Anderberry. Did you enjoy the showcase?"

"I did thank you. Can I help you kids with something? I'm assuming you're here to kidnap my son right?" she gave them a knowing look and all of them smiled guiltily accept for Puck, who just threw his arm around my shoulder and nodded.

"Pretty much."

"There's this big after party all the students go to. It's like a tradition. We light a few candles and those of us who didn't perform tonight will perform there," Kurt explained.

"Mhmm. And how late will you all be out?"

This time Brittany stepped up. She was so cute and innocent in her little sundress there was no way anyone could say no to her. "Not long at all! But it'd be nice if maybe Blaine could stay the night at one of the boys houses or something. It's just

easier to relax when you don't have to worry about a curfew you know?"

"We'll take care of your baby boy Mrs. Anderberry, don't worry about a thing," Sam smiled.

I knew my mom was gonna say yes as soon as they asked but she made a point to drag out her decision and give them each a playful glare, warning us all to stay out of trouble, before rolling her eyes and saying yes. I handed over Cooper, who

woke up long enough to kiss me goodbye, and hugged my mother then rushed out of the door with them before my grandparents could notice I was leaving with friends.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Duh," Puck said as he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. I was headed towards my own car when he pushed me after Kurt and we all veered off towards his jeep. I liked driving my car but I did like riding in Kurt's a bit more. Tonight was a nice night and driving his jeep with no doors or anything would really feel great. I slid into the back next to Tana and Sam sat next to me with Brittany on his lap. Kurt drove of course and Puck lit a cigarette before occupying the passenger seat. When we were out of the parking lot and Kurt had found a station playing pretty good music, Puck finally turned around and answered my earlier question.

"We're going to get fucked up."


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: Sorry short chapter, Kurt's POV still hard to write. Enjoy and don't forget to review :)**

 **Kurt's POV**

I stood in the threshold of the giant mansion the after-showcase was being held at and couldn't help but smile. The aftershowcase was like the biggest after party in our town and even people who didn't attend our high school showed up. The party was a blast and there was also something that catered to all the different arts. Music majors performed, dancers dance, art majors did cool glow in the dark neon paintings on people's bodies. It was a guaranteed good time and was perfectly safe but there was also a bit of an edge to it. The top floors were where the legalized fun went on, the basement was where you weren't even allowed to say legal.

I was never big on the drug scene and I typically didn't even get that drunk at normal parties, but I always found myself spending a significant amount of time in the basement when it came to the aftershowcase. I just couldn't help myself.

"You ready for this?" Puck said as he clapped me on the back of my shoulders. I looked up at him and chuckled when I saw the sparkle in his eyes. Like I said, the party was fun no matter what, but Puck, as well as Sam who was already snaking his way through the crowd, also spent a significant amount of time in the basement with me.

I glanced over my shoulder just to make sure Tana, Brittany, and Blaine hadn't already got lost in the crowd and smiled at Tana who had her arms crossed over her chest and was pouting, not very happy about being left the designated driver. I passed her the keys and she snatched them from my hands before flicking me off.

"We meet up here again at one!" I yelled and then, with a nod, we all went our separate ways.

Blaine stayed close to me and held onto the back of my shirt as we weaved through the crowd and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy to have him so close. It was kinda ironic but we'd gotten closer after I pretty much rejected him and, the more I tried to keep myself in check, the more I was second guessing everything that was happening between us. The main reason I was having such an issue confronting this was because I'd been straight all of my life. Never had I even considered being with or even looking at another guy. Another issue was because relationships kinda freaked me out. Like Puck so kindly pointed out, I could get kind of selfish when I was in relationships. I didn't mean too and personally I felt like I was doing better, but if I wasn't I didn't want to do something to Blaine to ruin the friendship we had. In my mind those were both two pretty good reasons to stay away from someone.

But then he wore a new outfit and his hair was styled differently and he made cute little pouty faces at nothing and he was a good big brother and he hung onto me and he flirted with me at work and he was just fucking Blaine. All it took was one little thing for him to do and suddenly I didn't have any good reasons why I wanted to stay away. I just wanted to get closer.

"I got shots!" Sam screamed excitedly, both his hands filled with little glow in the dark shot glasses. He handed us each one and with a smile we downed them and scrunched up our noses once we felt the burn from the liquor.

"Jesus," Blaine mumbled, trying to cover his cough. Clearly straight vodka was a bit too much for him. He looked up at me with watery eyes as he tried to pretend he wasn't affected and could take it just as well as I had but, after only seconds of starring, he erupted into coughing again and we both laughed before I grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the kitchen for a drink of water or something non alcoholic for the time being. As Blaine soothed his throat I noticed the kitchen had become the artist workshop and people were lined up to either get their bare chest painted or paint them themselves. With a glance in Blaine's direction, I tugged my shirt over my head and smiled as his eyes bulged and his cheeks reddened before he basically hide his face in his drink.

"Come paint me."

"Thats probably the weirdest thing you've ever said."

"Should I ask someone else?"

Blaine dropped his drink and took a step forward just as I was about to gesture to another girl or guy. He glared at me playfully before sticking his fingers in the glowing paint bowls because there were no more pant brushes available. I wasn't going to lie, this was me getting him back for earlier today at work when he'd flirted so boldly then left me hanging, but my plan kinda backfired when I felt his fingers on my skin. He didn't have girly hands so to speak but they were soft and slim and his touch was gentle and precise which made me shiver. He noticed and smirked.

"You cold Kurt?" he casually asked, thinking he had the upper hand.

"Nope. Maybe a little too hot actually." His eyes flicked up to my own and I smiled suggestively, my smile widening when he blushed and quickly got back to work. Soon enough about ten or fifteen had passed of me just standing there watching his facial expressions as he focused and trying to keep myself from getting too excited as his fingers roamed my body. Once he was done there was a large Chinese dragon swirling over my abs before dipping behind my shoulder and appearing back around my side with blazing yellow eyes and a sharp pointed tongue. It looked incredibly and for him to have done it all with just his fingers made it even more stunning. On each arm were Chinese symbols I could decipher and he had signed his name on my waist just above my pants line.

"I feel like I should pay you," I said honestly, admiring his work. Puck and I had talked once about asking Blaine to design our next tattoos and this one alone was so good I kinda didn't want to take a shower later and wash it off.

"You could always find me a drink," he shrugged. With a knowing smile, I grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed him one. We held each others eyes as we took our first drink and I couldn't help but feel...well I don't know how to describe it.

We spent another hour together just sitting in the kitchen talking and drinking and I was having such a nice time with him that I'd completely forgotten about my original plan to get messed up, but soon enough, our time alone ended as Puck came stumbling into the kitchen with glazed eyes and a too goofy smile. He looked around, lost for a moment, before he finally found us and his smile widened.

"Sams stoned baby," he said, laughing hard.

"You're stoned man."

"Yeaup! And you're supposed to be stoned with me. Come on my love!" Puck began pulling me towards the exit and I slowed and glanced at Blaine over my shoulder.

"You gonna be okay?"

"I'm seventeen Kurt not seven. I can take care of myself."

I wanted to say something bold and comment on how I'd be happy to take care of him as well but I knew I couldn't do it. I felt like not only would it be a bit too far but, at the moment, I was still holding myself back which meant it wasn't entirely true. So instead I just nodded and told him he knew where to find me.

Though, as I followed Puck down the stairs and was hit with the distinct smell of drugs, I wasn't sure that statement was entirely true either, because I knew there would not be _me_ leaving here tonight. I wasn't coming back upstairs sober.


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N: Remember that Kurt is straight on this AU. There is a slighlty drugs abuse mention in this chapter. Don't forget to review and enjoy**.

 **Blaine's POV**

I danced through the crowd of people with a sloppy smile and a drunken laugh, Tana grinding in front of me while Brittany pressed against my back. Who would have ever thought being pressed between two girls could be so fun? If the alcohol I could still taste on my breath wasn't a sure sign that I was drunk then the fact that Tana's ass was seriously starting to turn me on definitely was.

I couldn't tell you how long we'd been at the party but I seriously was having a great time. Rachel was here with her own friends instead of mine for once and, even though part of me wanted to worry about her and make sure everything was taken care of, a bigger part of me wanted to be me and let loose. And I figured if Kurt could do it, then so could I.

As we danced, Sam appeared from his hiding space in the basement and pulled Brittany into his arms sloppily. He smelled terrible but Brittany didn't seem to mind and turned so that her back was pressing against his chest and, when Sam was steady on his feet. The couple began a teasing dance that could have rivaled Beyonce and Jay-Z's grammy performance.

I danced with Tana for a while longer before she was also stolen from me. I finished off the rest of the contents in my cup and pouted softly once I realized it was empty. Obviously that problem would have to be fixed. Snaking my way through the crowd, I head towards the kitchen. Most of the arts kids had given up on painting and littered the dance floor so and in their wake was a tornado of paint supplies and neon handprints on the counters. I sighed and poured myself another cup of spiked punch, trying not to blush as I pictured Kurt's bare chest again. He was lucky other people had been in the room when I was painting him because if not I didn't think there would be anything that could have stopped me from just running my hand up and down his body. His skin was flawless and white and he five little moles on his side that resembled the constellation of the little dipper. If had hadn't been perfect with his shirt on he was definitely perfect without one.

I don't think I've ever been so tempted to actually lick someone's belly button.

Once my cup was filled once again I swayed to the music and took a large gulp, the punch making it taste sweet but the vodka in it burning my throat. I didn't mind though and just swallowed more.

I was walking, or more like stumbling, back towards the huge living room where most of the party was taking place when my shoulder collided with another and my already unsteady hands fumbled, the cup I held knocking back and soaking my shirt as well as the sleeve of the person I bumped into.

"Ooooohhh shiiiit," I laughed, watching the cup fall.

When I looked back up my smile fell almost immediately because even drunk I knew spilling anything on Jackson wasn't very good. He looked at his wet arm in disgust before his eyes found mine and his glare only hardened. His eyes were

bloodshot and I could smell the weed on him so I knew he'd just come up from downstairs, a place I still didn't have the courage to go but planned to visit before the night was over. For a minute I was worried a high Jackson would be even worse than a sober one, but then I figured a sober one would have punched me in the face by now.

"Fuck it Blaine! I've gotta go home after this. How am I going to explain the smell of fucking alcohol to my dad?"

I chewed my lip and tried to keep from laughing. He was so red and fussy. "I don't know, guess you could use the same excuse you were gonna use to explain the weed smell?"

If possible Jackson turned even more red than he already was. He grabbed me by my elbow and drug me back into the kitchen before stopping by the sink and turning the water on warm. He wet a rag to scrub his sleeve before tossing another one at me to scrub my shirt, which took most of the damage anyway so I don't know why he was being such a baby about one sleeve.

"Are you always such a clutz when you're drunk?"

"I'm not really drunk. This is all just a trick. I'm completely sober." As if to prove my point, I hoisted myself up onto the counter and then made a 'ta-da' motion and smiled proudly. The smile was short lived though when my head began to spin and I nearly fell back down. "Ha, okay so maybe I'm drunk."

"Dumbass," Jackson grumbled, though I swear I could see a little smile on his chapped pink lips!

"S'Not fair! You're high too. Shouldn't...god what was I gonna say...oh! Shouldn't you be seeing pink unicorns or something?"

Jackson tilted his head back and his laughter boomed through the room. He acted like I just said the funniest thing in the world and I was convinced it was the drugs. Even if I had said something funny, Jackson never laughed at me unless he was pounding me into a locker.

"No you idiot. Mary Jane doesn't make you trip like that. Maybe some of the other stuff down there bu-"

"There's other stuff down there?"

"Well obviously. If it was just weed there'd be no point in the basement and everyone would just smoke it up here or in the backyard. You haven't been down there to get a hit?"

I swallowed and shook my head. I tried to keep my face as calm as my drunken mind would allow but on the inside I was kinda maybe sorta flipping out. As far as I knew Kurt and Puck were still down there and Sam did look a lot more under the influence than Jackson when he came up to dance.

Were the doing more than just smoking?

What else was down there?

Who else was down there?

"Whats wrong? Worried about your boyfriend Kurt?"

I felt my heart clench and my head snapped in Jackson's direction. Boyfriend? Kurt? Jackson gave me a smug smile and I felt my skin crawl as he took a step closer to me. He didn't know what he was talking about. If he did he would know we were not dating. But I could tell by his smile that saying that wasn't just a quick little insult he'd come up with. He really did believe there was something going on.

"He's not my-"

"Maybe not officially but you want him to be. You really think I wouldn't notice eventually? You follow that man around like a little lost puppy, begging to kiss his ass. It's pretty pathetic."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I-I don't follow him around and I'm not pathetic."

"You do and you are," Jackson laughed, "But it's not your fault." He shrugged and focused his attention on getting a drink. His eyes were no longer on me but his entire demeanor had shifted and I felt...well I felt like he felt sad or something.

Just seconds ago he'd been teasing me about it and now he looked upset over something.

"What...what do you mean?"

"I mean even if you could somehow convince him to give up some sweet pussy for a cock, you'd still have to figure out how to get him to give up Allison."

That was the second time tonight I'd heard the name Allison and each time made me feel uncomfortable. And the look on Jackson's face didn't help.

"Who is she?"

Jackson was silent for a moment and he kept his eyes trained on the wall in front of us. I could hear laughter from the party around us and feel the bass of the beat in my bones but besides that there was silence. Jackson was tense and he was frowning as if he was watching a bad memory unfold in front of him like a scene in a movie. It was weird but, even though I hated him, I kinda wanted to reach out and comfort him.

"Jack-"

"She was my girl."

"Oh. Wait. Then, um...well what does she have to do with Kurt?"

"She was his girl too."

"Oh."

I chewed my lip and swallowed nervously. I could tell there was more to this story and of course I wanted to know the rest, but that statement alone at least explained why Kurt and Jackson didn't get along.

But what did he mean by she was his girl too?

Did they each date her?

Did she love one of them and not the other?

Or was it just a crush they both had on the same person?

I wanted to ask him to explain it all to me but I could tell by the look on his face just saying what he had was taking a step outside of his comfort zone.

"Well, she must have been very pretty."

Once again, Jackson laughed loudly as if I had said the funniest thing in the world. "She was a manipulative bitch who ruined anything good she came into contact with but yeah, yeah she was fücking gorgeous."

"Were you in love with her?"

"Who wasn't in love with her would be an easier question to answer. I really thought I was special. Thought I'd finally won the competition to win Allison Natting's heart...should have known better. We both should have."

Jackson was slipping back into that painful memory now and as he did things became even more confusing. I still didn't really understand how she tied them together but I knew, whoever she was, she'd left an impact on both of them. I opened my mouth to ask another question but, before I got the chance, Jackson snapped out of his daydream long enough to roughly grab me by my elbow and press me hard against the fridge. A little gasp escaped my throat before it was swallowed by Jackson as he pressed his lips against my own.

His lips were salty and chapped and his mouth was dry from smoking. On top of that he was Jackson, the guy who'd made it his mission to make my life hell on Earth, but, and I was giving the alcohol in my system a lot of credit here, I found myself pushing all the above to the back of my mind and kissing back. It was crazy I know but I just...well I just wanted to kiss someone! No one had touched my lips since Kurt and as much as I wanted Kurt to be the one to touch them again, it felt nice feeling like at least someone wanted me since Kurt was so adamant about not wanting me. Besides, it wasn't like Jackson was necessarily bad at it...

"Jackson?"

Jackson yanked away from me quickly and spun around. In the doorway of the kitchen stood a pretty brunette. She was in a flannel shirt with a black crop top underneath and faded high waisted shorts. She really was pretty but the look of disgust she had on her face kinda ruined her good looks.

"What the hell are you doing?! Who is that?!" she yelled, pointing an accusing finger at me. Before he got the chance to answer and I got the chance to cuss her out for looking at me like some science experiment, Puck and Kurt came stumbling into the kitchen as well, both of them clearly high on more than just weed. Kurt spotted me first and his lopsided smile widened more than it already was only for it to drop again once he noticed how close Jackson and I were along with the guilty look on my face. He frowned, confused, and the girl in front of him spun around and his eyes widened in shock.

"Allison?"

 **A/N: I know that you all hate me by now. Like where is my klaine? why everybody kiss blaine? Send that Alisson girl to Timbuktu! Don't fear my lovely and faithful readers.**

 **Chapter 20 sneak peek:**

 **"[...] kissing under the moon until we were light headed and our lips were swollen. Then we went home and kissed some more."**


	21. Chapter 20

**A/N: I don't think there's any warnings necessary for this part, unless the fact that Klaine warrants a warning. It really makes me feel better about my writing when I see reviews. Honestly. I'll beg… I will!**

 **Blaine's POV**

"Allison?"

Kurt pulled himself from Puck and tried to straighten himself up but whatever he was on made it hard to do so. He stumbled and I wanted to reach out and help him but Jackson was still blocking my way. Besides, I didn't just want to be near him to help him stand. I justs wanted to put some distance between him and this Allison girl.

He stumbled and Puck reached for his shoulder but he waved him away, steadying himself on the edge of the kitchen counter. His eyes were lidded and confused and it was obvious by his entire demeanor that he was wasted, but he blinked hard as he tried to decide what intrigued him more, Jackson's close and guilty proximity to me or the girl in front of him. After locking eyes with me for a moment and grimacing, as if I was somehow hurting him, he decided Allison would be what he confronted first.

Allison noticed his choice and smiled widely, making my stomach turn. Allison was a cute girl who was tall, basically eye level with me, but still shorter than Kurt and looked up at him with wide brown doe eyes. Her hair was long and ambréd and she had a body to kill for. I hated her almost immediately, but I couldn't deny the fact that she was beautiful and as they stood next to each other it was obvious there had been something real there. Something that maybe still was.

"W-What are you doing here?" Kurt stuttered, still trying hard to sober himself up. "You moved. You moved to...to...where'd you move?"

"New York. But I'm back. I missed you." Allison stepped forward and dropped a hand on Kurt's bare chest and he sucked in a quick breath. Even in the dim lighting from the kitchen I could see his cheeks redden with blush and swallowed, dropping my head so I didn't have to watch any longer. Rachel had told me to be a tease but it looked like there was nothing left to tease. If this Allison girl was as great as she looked and if just a simple touch from her could make Kurt react like that, I could see my chances becoming more slim than they already were.

Kurt was straight.

Allison was a girl.

That alone made her a better choice than me. They began talking and it wasn't until Allison finally acknowledged Puck's presence and said something about not seeing him in a long time that I remembered there was someone else she hadn't seen in a long time. Jackson. I looked up at him and swallowed. His face was blank and calm but I could see him clenching his jaw and his eyes were ablaze with...

with jealousy?

Pain?

Maybe even understanding?

His fist were clenched but I didn't think it was because he wanted to punch Kurt. For once he wasn't such a block head of anger and stupidity and he actually looked raw. If Allison had been both their girl then, I realized, this was most likely the first time Jackson had seen her in a while as well yet here she was, paying him no mind and focusing all of her attention on Kurt only. Just like me, he wasn't angry or upset, he was hurt because the one person he liked the most couldn't seem to like him back. And that I could understand.

"Jackson," I whispered, dropping a hand onto his shoulder. It was a gesture of comfort but he treated it as if I'd just passed him AIDs or something, shaking me off so viciously I stumbled and collided with the refrigerator. My back slammed against it and if that wasn't enough the look he gave me was enough to make me feel guilty for even being alive. I didn't understand him. One moment he was kissing me, another he actually looked like he could feel like a normal human being, and now he was back to the same old Jackson who got pleasure out of beating my ass.

"Don't fucking touch me you fag!" he hollered.

"Hey!" Puck was the one to scream but it was Kurt who stepped forward and shoved Jackson roughly in the chest, knocking him to the ground. His footing was still unsteady and as he spoke his words slurred, but he positioned himself in

front of me all the same and glared at Jackson.

"Call him that again and I'll fucking kill you," he threatened.

"I don't know what he's so upset about anyway," Allison sneered. "He was just kissing the so called fag when I walked in."

I felt my skin crawl at the sound of Allison's voice and the crawling ceased and turned into a cold chill when Kurt turned to face me, his eyes wide and the disapproval evident on his face. The way he was looking at me now made me swallow and did things to my mind and emotions that I didn't really understand just yet. Part of me felt guilty, like I was hurting him or something, and another part of me felt angered.

He couldn't seriously be upset could he?

So I kissed Jackson, yeah, not my best moment, but that didn't mean he had any room to judge! I wondered how many people he had kissed, how many people he'd actually slept with. I wasn't his boyfriend and he'd made that completely clear so what made him think he could judge me or have the nerve to get jealous.

Especially now that his old girlfriend was back and he clearly wasn't over her. This bitch.

"You kissed Jackson?" Kurt whispered, his voice so low I barely heard him at first. Because looking at him only resulted in one of two options-crying and apologizing or punching him in his beautiful face for being such a hypocrite-I ignored his question and looked down at the floor.

"Blaine I-"

"Kurt." Allison took a step forward and looked between Jackson and I before gently gripping Kurt's shoulders. His eyes stayed locked on me until she turned his face in her direction and caressed his cheek gently.

"Kurt lets just go. Let's just forget about them."

"Yeah Kurt, go crawling back to Allison just like the old days. You always did love her more than anyone else right?"

Jackson spat. He glared before clambering back to his feet and shoving past Kurt and Puck and disappearing from the kitchen. Besides the music blaring from the living room, things were quiet for a moment and I knew the tension in the room was because of my presence.

The girl Allison still had her hands on Kurt, Kurt was still trying hard to grasp everything that was going on around him, and Puck stood in the doorway swaying side to side because of his own high. I sat on the floor like a full and thats exactly what I was.

 _You are a fool to think Kurt could like me one day._

 _You are fool to think Jackson could have a nice side._

 _You are a fool to get so caught up in a guy and not realize he was already caught up in someone else._

With a groan, I pushed myself to my feet and was walking out of the kitchen when I felt a hand latch around my wrist. I looked up and swallowed when I saw Kurt politely pushing Allison's hands away and stumbling towards me. His balance was still a bit unsteady and his eyes were dilated and lidded but he held my wrist firmly as he headed for the exit.

"I think I'll hang out with Blaine. I'll cal you later Allison."

Allison was stunned to say the least and I don't think I could blame her. I was sure Kurt would have picked her company over my own. Hell, I would have picked her company over my own! Why the hell was he blowing her off for someone as lame as me?

She watched in shock as we left the kitchen and I let Kurt guide me through the ocean of people towards the front door. Even when we escaped and the amount of people and sound of music around us decreased dramatically as we stepped into the safety of the night air, Kurt still held my hand as we walked towards the sidewalk.

"Where are we going?"

"Home. I can't drive. I can't walk very well either though."

"Then why are we? Let's go back. We'll get Tana and-"

"Did you really kiss him Blaine?"

We were a few houses down now and though the music was still audible we were out of sight from the rest of the students and hidden under the darkness of one of the trees lining the sidewalk. Kurt stopped his lazy stride and turned to look at me and again he faced me with pain and betrayal and again I didn't understand why. I wanted to be mad at him but I was also tempted to lie and tell him no just for the sake of the pain on his face going away. I didn't want him to look at me like that, but I also didn't want him to feel like he had any right to. I wasn't his and he wasn't mine.

"W-Was it to make me jealous? You've been acting different today. Are you trying to tell me something?"

"Firstly, get over yourself. You're not so special that I would stoop so low as trying to make you jealous." That was a lie. If I thought it would work I would have done it weeks ago. "And second, who I kiss and who I don't is none of your concern."

"Don't do that. Don't kiss anyone else." Kurt was gritting his teeth now and I could tell by the way his eyes were brightening that he was getting annoyed but I didn't care. So was I. Fück this teasing shit and fuck him for trying to make me feel guilty!

"I told you I don't like it when people tell me what to do."

"Maybe if you weren't so reckless I wouldn't have to."

"Says the guy who can barely even walk straight!" I screamed. "You know what why do you even care? Just leave me alone and go back to your girlfriend," I muttered. I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest before brushing past

him and stomping down the street. I was tired, cold, still a little drunk, and I knew if I stayed and talked to Kurt any longer things would just get worse between us and I would be the only one hurt in the end. It was inevitable really, falling for Kurt like I had. He been my knight and shining armor when I was in trouble and for a while things had been good. He'd managed to save me from the shell I'd fallen into and he'd done well. I just never expected him to already have another damsel in waiting.

The knot in my throat was just beginning to form as I realized we probably couldn't come back from this when, once again, a hand grabbed my wrist and I was yanked back into a solid and warm chest. I could feel the paint from my art smearing on my clothes but I didn't even care as Kurt pressed his lips to mine. Just like our first kiss, deep and filled with a hot passion and desperation that made every inch of my body burn with desires. Kurt kept one hand locked around my wrist as if he was afraid I would run from him and the other tugged on my hair. I gasped and in an instant his tongue was dancing with my own and his hold on me was the only thing keep me from falling, my knees given out completely. When he finally pulled away our bodies were pressed tightly against each other and we were both panting but neither of us stepped back for more air.

"She used to be my girlfriend but not any more. I didn't know she would be here tonight but this whole time I thought I was in love with her."

"And...and are you?"

"...I don't know," he admitted sadly. "Allison and I have history. I just...all I know is that the girl I thought I was in love with is back in that house wandering where I am yet all I can think about is you and how good it feel being here with you. I don't know why I care Blaine, but I do. I really really care."

I swallowed and looked at the dark street around us. I wanted to get excited and I wanted to relish in the feel of his arms around me and his lips pressed against mine but I knew Kurt and I knew as soon as he was sober this moment would probably end and he'd forget everything he just said. He hadn't chosen me, not really.

"Blaine-"

"I think you should tell me a flaw right about now," I chuckled weakly.

Kurt licked his lips and shook his head, gently caressing my cheek with his thumb. "My only flaw is that it took another guy kissing your for me to realize just how much I wanted you to myself. I don't want to play games anymore Blaine and I'm not just saying this because I'm probably really really high," we both chuckled, "I'm saying it because I mean it. I'm selfish. I don't want anyone else touching you. I don't want anyone else to even look at you. I want to monopolize you completely. I want you to be mine Blaine."

A chocked sob escaped my lips and I tried desperately hard not to cry tears of joy. I wanted to smile and grin and jump for the sky and shout to the whole world that Kurt Hummel, the man of my dreams, was finally willing to commit to me, but I was still afraid this was all some twisted nightmare.

But pretending was what I did best right?

So, until the morning came and he changed his mind I could pretend this was all real and that it would last. So, pushing my negative thoughts and reality to the back of my mind, I wrapped my arms around his neck and we stood there like that kissing under the moon until we were light headed and our lips were swollen. Then we went home and kissed some more and more.

 **A/N: This is me begging you please. Review?**


	22. Chapter 21

**A/N: Looks that me beging worked,wont used it again tho. So** **I want to thank you all for the reviews** **and hope you particulary enjoy this chapter. Anyway, I hope to read LOTS of reviews telling me what you thought of this** **chapter! ;)**

 **Kurt's POV**

When I woke up the following morning I thought I was still dreaming. I was back in the comfort of my bed in my own room, but I wasn't alone. Next to me, curled up in a ball beneath my navy blankets, his lips parted slightly as he breathed and his now messy curls falling over his closed eyes, Blaine lay sleeping. For a moment I was surprised, confused, and aching from the effects of last nights high but it only took a few minutes for the event of last night to come rushing back to me in a wave of pain that made me wince.

My head ached just as much as my body and I felt dumb and dazed, but my mind was still functioning and at the moment it was slowly piecing everything back together. I remembered going to the party, painting and dancing, taking drugs I probably should have never even looked at with Logan and Sam. That was what I remembered clearly. Everything after that was mostly a blur but, blurry or not, I knew what I'd done to Blaine. I knew what I'd said, what I'd confessed, and more than that what he would now expect from me.

Swallowing, I rolled onto my side, scratching at the skin of my bare chest, and watched his sleeping face. If we were being honest last night was not supposed to happen how it did. If it weren't for Jackson and the kiss I couldn't imagine myself ever saying what I had and to make matters even worse I probably would have run off with Allison and forgot Blaine was even there. It was sad and shameful but it was true. Just as true as what I said to him.

My mind was a mess, I was a mess, and there were a lot of things about myself that I still couldn't explain but the more time I spent with Blaine the more I realized maybe I didn't have too. I always thought I needed to know everything and that everything had to flow and move a certain way. My life had to make sense. Everything about me needed to fit into a mold. But I was realizing now that real life wasn't made to fit into molds. There was a middle, beginning, and end sure but not everything happened like in the movies. I wouldn't always meet someone, fall in love, and then everything would be sunshine and daisies. In the begining I thought how Blaine made me feel was wrong, it was impossible. People didn't fall in love like this. But maybe they did. Blaine and I were real people with real feelings living real fucked up lives. It may not have been the typical teenage love story but it didn't have to be. Everything didn't have to just magically make sense towards the end. What went through to get here, what I put him through to get here, was crazy but it was our crazy and I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

I was a selfish, stubborn bastard but it was who I was and as long as Blaine could accept that, then that was who I always would be.

Blaine sighed softly in his sleep and I watched the edges of his hair curls and fall as he breathed. He turned over and I couldn't help but pout. I wanted to keep watching him, hell I was even tempted to try out art and paint a picture of him.

Everything else may have hurt on me but knowing we'd just taken the next step in our relationship made my heart all warm and fuzzy and I couldn't stop smiling. I wanted to hold him against my chest, kiss him, and stay like this the rest of the day. I wanted him to know how I felt and I wanted to assure him that this was real for me and I wouldn't be going back on my word.

If you haven't already noticed though, I wasn't very good at expressing my feelings. So, I would do the next best thing.

 **Blaine's POV**

When I woke up I immediately tried to go back to sleep. I wasn't tired in the least bit but fuck if I wasn't scared to face Kurt. I knew I was in his house, in his bed, and I knew the space next to me had been empty for a while which meant he's had plenty of time to wake up and finally come to his senses. He didn't mean what he said to me. He couldn't have. I mean you can't go from refusing to accept me and claiming to be the straightest straight guy in the world to suddenly wanting to monopolize me and have me all to yourself.

Urg!

I groaned and pushed my face in the pillow as I felt myself blushing. Just remembering what he'd told me made me shiver, and not in a bad way either. I mean damn. I would have been satisfied with him just saying he liked me but instead he said all of that and, even though I didn't believe him, I couldn't help but fanboy. Talk about getting a guy's hopes up. It took me thirty minutes before I was finally able to talk myself into crawling from beneath the safety of the covers. I didn't want to face it, but it wouldn't be the first time Kurt denied me so I'd be okay. I could handle this.

Right?

I looked around the room, or apartment really considering the whole basement was his, but Kurt was no where to be found. For a moment I was nervous but then I heard the soft thumping of a bass coming from the room where he kept most of his music equipment. I climbed out of bed and tried to make it seem as if I had just woken up as I crossed the living room.

The door was shut and I knocked softly but he must not of heard me because he never came to open it. I didn't wanna just barge in but I got tired of waiting eventually and pushed the door open. Kurt was not in there like I expected, but his equipment was powered on and a song was playing loudly over the speakers. His chair was pushed back, there was an empty bowl of cereal on the table, and I could see a notepad sitting beneath it.

Was I wrong for snooping?

Maybe.

Did I do it anyway?

Duh.

The notepad was thick and yellow and the first two pages were nothing but scribbled hand writing and random words and, surprisingly, my name. I didn't get it until I turned the page and found a much neater, more organized version of song lyrics. I read through me and the more I read the tighter I clenched the pad.

Blaine. BlaiNe Anderberry. Blaine. B. BlaiNE. My Blaine.

I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶ ̶

I̶ ̶b̶e̶l̶i̶e̶v̶e̶

No less by K. Hummel

Follow me, my d̶e̶a̶r̶ darling

I'm on the rise

l̶i̶s̶t̶e̶n̶ see my songs

d̶a̶n̶c̶i̶n̶g̶ playing on their h̶e̶a̶d̶ minds

now believe, my darling

feel it inside

see my name

And all those g̶l̶o̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ flashing lights

I t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ believe

I'mma be the one you need

I believe

And I will show you that

I won't settle for no less

h̶a̶n̶d̶l̶e̶ give you my heart, it's no risk

I just wanna do you right

I won't ever name b̶a̶d̶ old things

Give you my heart, it's no risk

I just wanna do you right, boy

Follow me, my d̶e̶a̶r̶ baby

Just follow m̶e̶ my lead

To higher ground, there's a way around

If you dare to believe

You're all I w̶i̶s̶h̶ want

And all I want is you

If you're holding on

It's me you hold on to

I believe,

I'mma be the one you need

I believe,

And I will show you that

I just wanna do you right

And I will bring you all my rights

I won't d̶r̶o̶p̶ leave you down and out behind me

I just wanna do you right, boy.

Call me arrogant, but my heart fluttered at the assumption that these lyrics were about me. I flipped to the next page and found more lyrics and was able to match these to the song playing repeatedly over his speakers.

K̶i̶n̶d̶

Warm by K. Hummel

I'm a little c̶l̶o̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶h̶f̶u̶l̶ ̶h̶e̶s̶i̶t̶a̶n̶t̶ shy, but I know you know

I've done this too much 'cause I been alone

I'm feeling this a̶d̶o̶r̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ devotion, touching your emotion

I can fe̶e̶l̶ see the love run right out of you

Moments like these are p̶r̶e̶c̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ golden

Never felt so open

Even if I'm i̶m̶a̶g̶i̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ dreaming, I'm dreaming with you

So breath my air, and t̶o̶u̶c̶h̶ kiss me there

Cause i'm a little d̶i̶s̶t̶a̶n̶t̶ cold but I'll warm up with you

Out of my chest when you put it there

Yeah i'm a little cold but I've warmed up with you

I don't care too much for valentines

I just need your skin next to mine

I'm feeling this devotion, touching your emotion

I can see the love run right out of you

Moments like these are golden

Never felt so f̶r̶e̶e̶ open

Even if I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming with you

So breath my air, and kiss me there

Cause i'm a little cold but I'll warm up with you

Out of my chest when you put it there

I took another deep breath and swallowed. No, no way were these about me. They must be about Allison or something. Right? H-He didn't mean what he said. He couldn't have he was high and drunk and lust-

"You know some people think it's rude when others look through their stuff without permission."

I spun around and couldn't stop the gasp that slipped through my lips. Kurt stood in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and a satisfied smirk on his lips. His hair was wet and un-styled and I could smell his body wash from where I stood. I'd seen Kurt before so of course his looks were nothing new to me, but there was something about him this morning that was different. That was sending my senses into overdrive. Don't even get me started on the way his jeans were hugging his thighs. Umph.

He stepped further into the room and I stayed standing only because I couldn't figure out which option was better: _should I take a step back or throw myself at him?_ Kurt chuckled as if he could hear what I was thinking and reached out, grabbing me by my wrist and pulling me into his chest. I didn't know what to do. What was going on?

This was not how I expected this morning to go?

"Do you like the songs?"

It took me a while to get my voice to cooperate with me. "Y-Yes. Who are they for?"

Kurt smile and I felt my knees buckle. Was it possible for someone to be so attractive that it hurt?

"Who do you think they're for?"

I didn't say it out loud because I couldn't. If I was wrong I was afraid I'd cry. If I was right, I was still afraid I would cry.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me if I told you I meant what I said last night. For some reason you never particularly listen to me," Kurt chuckled, "but you do listen to my music. You may be the only one who really listens actually. So, I put it in my music. Blaine I-"

"Be warned that if the next words out of your mouth are a lie or any type of false hope for something more than what we already have you'll be ruining me. You're screwing with me Kurt and it hurts. Please stop it. It hurts."

The smile on Kurt's face morphed into a frown and he cupped my face in his hands as the first of my tears began to spill. I didn't mean to be so weak in front of him and I definitely didn't want to end up crying, but he didn't understand. How I felt about Kurt...it was too much. Too risky. He couldn't tease me like this if he wasn't serious. He didn't get to do things like write songs for me and promise to monopolize me and keep him all to himself if he wouldn't do it.

What a pair we were.

Kurt was selfish and I was spoiled. I wanted to be spoiled by him, I wanted him to write songs about only me, I wanted him to kiss me hard and deep and I wanted him to hold me like he was now. If he wasn't gonna do it then I didn't need him getting my hopes up.

"Blaine please, stop crying," Kurt pleaded and the pain in his own voice made me look up. I'd seen a lot of different versions of Kurt but never one like this. Never one so sincere. "I get it. I'm an ass. I'm the biggest ass in the world! I know it's my fault that you don't trust me but please, believe me now. I'm not backing down from this Blaine. I really do want to be with you. I-If you need time to wait and think about it fine. You waited for me so it's only fair I wait for you right? I'll do it

just, christ just please stop crying Blaine. I don't ever want to be the reason for your crying face."

Kurt grimaced and his thumbs danced across my face as he tried to wipe my tears. And then instead of his thumbs he used his lips. Kissing my puffy cheeks, my wet eyes, and finally my pouting lips. The kisses were quick and gentle and sweet and just what I needed to calm down. When my tears had finally stopped and Kurt had covered my face in feathery kisses we left the studio and headed back out towards the living room are and Kurt headed to his dresser and pulled out a clean shirt and a pair of sweat pants then tossed them to me.

"Get dressed. I'm taking you out to breakfast."

"You don't... you don't want to talk about anything? I-I didn't mean to break down like that back there."

"It's fine Blaine. If you want to talk then we can talk but, for now," he leaned forward again and my heart melted at the gentle embrace our lips shared, "for now let me treat you how I should have from the start."

He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. I leaned forward and kissed him again before turning and rushing into the bathroom to prepare for our date. _OUR DATE!_

 **A/N: I don't own the songs used in this chapter.**

 **Warm by S.G. Lewis**

 **No less by** **S.G. Lewis ft. Louis Mattrs**


	23. Chapter 22

**A/N: Thanks for all your omg, aaw and yass.** **I know that straight!Kurt is weird so I hope you all are still enjoying the story! Please review!**

 **Blaine's POV**

Kurt and I didn't go anywhere fancy for our date. We'd slept past breakfast and I wasn't in the mood to eat anything too heavy so we went though the drive through and got some burgers before heading to the park to eat and watch people feed ducks. We found a pretty nice spot at the top of a hill under a shady tree where we could pretty much see everything and sat down, Kurt using his phone to play music in the background.

Was it weird that we hadn't even begun to eat and already this was the best date I'd ever been on? I mean, given this was technically my first date ever but still. My mind hadn't yet wrapped around the fact that Kurt was really mine and because of that my stomach was full with butterflies of both nervousness and excitement.

"I can't believe you only got one burger. And a single at that," Kurt said, pulling our food out of the greasy brown bag and flattening it out before laying it out in front of us. Kurt had ordered not one but two double cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a large chocolate shake. I on the other hand only ordered a single cheese burger and a small fry with a vanilla shake.

"I'm sorry I don't eat like a pig."

"Hey, I'm a growing boy."

Kurt winked in my direction and I blushed before rolling my eyes. He smiled and stretched out on his side in front of me and began to eat and, as much as I tried not to, I couldn't help but stare at the muscles on his arms. He wore a tank top and black plain jeans today and boy did they work well for him. I felt so tiny wearing his baggy shirt and jeans but he'd told me on the way here that I looked cute so I'd be damned if I would complain. Though I did wish I was as in shape as he was, as long as he found me somewhat attractive I'd be alright.

"So, is there anything you wanna do after this?"

I finished chewing my food and took a minute to think before answering. Of course there were things I wanted to do, like spending the rest of the day cuddled up on the couch with him watching Netflix, but there were things I'd probably have to do first.

"Well, eventually I'll have to make my way back to the hell I call home, BOTH my sister will annoy me and ask where I've been, and then I have to work later tonight but, until then, I'm all yours." I shrugged softly and tried to pretend those last three words didn't have any significant meaning behind them.

Kurt chuckled, probably sensing the same thing, and nodded. "Well, glad to know I've got you all to myself." He looked up at me and smiled and even though I tried to smile back I couldn't help but role my eyes and smile as well.

This was so weird.

As Kurt and I ate we didn't talk much but I realized we didn't need to. Just being near him was enough for me and they way he kept finding reasons to touch me made me think it was enough for him as well.

"Can I ask you something?" he mumbled after a while of just sitting and people watching. We'd moved positions and we were now laying next to each other and I turned to face him. His eyes were still on the sky, his hair slightly falling back against the ground, and he turned to face me as well and I swallowed at the close proximity. "Why'd you kiss Jackson?"

My jaw clenched and unclenched as I swallowed once again. I had a feeling he'd ask me this eventually but I was hoping it would be in a few days time. You know, after I had a convincing story or at least a better understanding of the situation myself. I could have blamed it on being drunk and not knowing what I was doing but I knew that wasn't true and I didn't want to lie. The truth was I really didn't know why. I just kinda... did.

"Um I...I don't really know. He kissed me and...and I guess I just wanted to feel wanted."

"So it was because of me?"

"I didn't kiss Jackson to make you jealous Kurt. I already told you th-"

"No, thats not what I meant. I know you didn't do it with the intentions of making me jealous but the reason you wanted to feel wanted, thats because of me." The way he said it was a statement, like he already knew the answer, not a question. "I don't deserve you Blaine. If you'd been a girl and I was in your shoes I would have given up a long time ago."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not a girl and you're not in my shoes."

Kurt chuckled softly and I smiled watching him. I was glad that he was trying to take some responsibility for the things he'd done to me, but now that we were here I didn't want to hash on the past anymore. Well, except for one thing.

"Can I ask you something now?" I asked as Kurt reached for my hand. He tugged it into the air and wrapped it in his own as he fiddled with my fingers.

"Mine as well," he said distractedly.

"Who is Allison to you?"

I could feel him freeze at the mention of her name and couldn't stop the butterflies in my stomach. I was nervous. I believed Kurt when he said he liked me but if Jackson was right, if he really had loved Allison, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to float on cloud nine much longer.

"Did she say something to you?"

"No. Jackson did."

"Oh."

"Are you gonna answer my question or just pretend I never asked it?" Kurt sighed and let my hand go and I sat up suddenly, my nerves getting the best of me and his reaction not doing much to calm me down. If the jerk was gonna leave me then what was the point of doing this? I grabbed my phone and climbed to my feet and Kurt stood up after me.

"Blaine what are you doing? Come sit back down."

"I should get home."

"Blaine I-"

"Don't touch me!" Kurt had tried to reach out to grab my wrist and I swung around and snatched my arm from his grip. He looked at me with a shocked expression for a moment before his face turned into one of anger and he grabbed me

anyway, pulling me into him and glaring.

"Why is it so hard to believe me when I say I like you? Why can't you just trust me for once?"

"Because I have nothing to trust! You've made it perfectly clear that you're straight, that you would never be interested in a guy and now I'm just supposed to believe that you are?"

"No. I'm not!"

"Then why the hell are you with me!"

"Because I want to be! I've wanted to be with you since the first time I kissed you in that car but this is all new for me. I wasn't lying when I said I've never been with a guy before Blaine so I'm sorry it's taken me so long to admit my feelings and I'm sorry if you don't believe me now but what I'm not sorry for is taking some time to figure things out for myself before I just rushed into them. I've always been honest with you. Everything I was feeling at the time I told you just like I'm telling you now. I can't explain it and I may never be able to, but this, you, are everything I want right now."

"And later? When Allison comes knocking on your door because she's back in town. Then what are you gonna want?"

"She doesn't mean anything to me Blaine."

"You said you would be honest! Jackson told me you loved her!"

"And I did! I was head over heels for that girl! If you must know I loved Allison more than the air I breathed but she was never mine to love to begin with. Did Jackson tell you that part? I mean since he's clearly the only one you're willing to believe you should go talk to him right? Ask him to tell you how I made a fool of myself following her. Ask him to tell you how we used to be just as close as I am with Puck now and she's the poison that came between us. While I wrote her songs and catered to her every need she was behind my back fucking Jackson. While he did the same she was behind his back fucking me. She used us to further her music career and when she got a deal to go to New York she dumped us for a new producer. We didn't even know she'd been with us both until a week before she left. I was pissed. I was hurt and I was betrayed. But I was still in love with her. So, I followed her to New York. And you know what she did? She told me she had never felt the same. It was all just an easy ride to the top. And then she slammed the door in my face and told me Jackson was a better lay anyway because he didn't get so emotionally attached. So yes Blaine I was in love with Allison and I do get annoyed

when I have to talk about her but she means nothing to me now. The only person who matters now is you and if you can't believe that then... then I don't know what to do."

Kurt wasn't an emotional person. He didn't break down in front of me and cry or anything like that but what he said was enough to make me want too. I'd never seen such raw emotion on his face, such hurt and pain, and the fact that I was the one who made him relive it made me feel terrible. I swallowed and took a step back, looking away from him and trying to block the guilt I felt bubbling up in my stomach.

Kurt noticed and sighed, running his hand through his hair before reaching out and pulling me back into him. He dropped a sweet kiss against my hair and breathed me in at the same time I breathed him in.

"I want this to work Blaine. Anything you want me to do I'll do. I'll prove to you that this isn't some game for me and I'm not gonna drop you just because one of my ex's comes back on the scene. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

Now how was a guy's heart not supposed to skip a beat when someone told him that?

I looked up at Kurt and he smiled softly down at me, one arm holding me securely around my waist and the other moving to cup my face in his large pale hands. I rested my chin on his chest and wrapped both my arms around his waist, feeling extremely clingy but also really cute as well.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. Forgive me?"

"Duh," he chuckled.

"I'm also sorry she did something like that to you."

"Shit happens right?"

"Apparently. Kurt, there is something I'd like for you to do..."

"Anything."

"Can I have another kiss?"

Kurt's lips split in a grin and stuck my lips out in a cute little pout that made him laugh. Moving so that he could cup my face in both is hands, Kurt leaned forward and kissed me slowly, gently, and passionately. When he pulled away we were both smiling and he leaned forward, pecking my lips again.

"This is for real Blaine."

"I know. I believe you."

 _I believe you_


	24. Chapter 23

**A/N: So, who guessed Allison would stir in and cause some drama ;)? Please review?**

 **Blaine's POV**

I yawned as I re-stocked the country section in the store. My shift was nearly over but today had been long and I felt exhausted. After my weekend with Kurt I didn't think I'd have any better days in my life and I was right. When I returned home that Sunday it was too a house of chaos and the reason why was because of my grandparents of course. My mom had lost her job at the accounting firm and it took a tole on her. She'd been doing well, we were getting back on our feet and she almost had enough to buy us an apartment on our own and away from the tyrant rule of her parents, but then her boss was sexually harassing her and when she'd reported him her only reward was getting fired.

She was back at rock bottom and the realization of that was enough to send her to her room with a bottle of whiskey and playlist of all the songs she and my father had danced to at their wedding. I had half a mind to take a bat up to her job and shove it up her perv of a boss' ass but my target quickly shifted when my grandparents decided to make it their mission to make my mom feel even worse. Why they didn't understand reporting her boss was the right thing to do and instead only focused her newfound lack of a paycheck and temporary dependency on them once again confused the hell out of me but thats exactly what happened. The lectured and fussed at her like she was a little girl and when, as usual, I said something about it their banter and judgement focused on me next.

Apparently I was irresponsible, spent too much time with those delinquent friends of mine, my GPA was average and unimpressive, and my forever smart mouth and lack of respect for them would screw me over in the end. Not to mention my art skills were only subpar.

I'll admit, that last one hurt.

But not as much as my fist would when I punched them in their old, Botox enhanced, faces.

We argued for days and I left the house so often that I didn't get much sleep over the weekend. Rachel was on my side and tried to ease the tension but to be honest I didn't want her too. I didn't want a relationship with people who were such judgmental assholes.

"Why don't you take a break Blaine?" Sebastian said, coming up behind me and taking the basket of cd's from me. I yawned and shook my head no. Earlier I'd worked with Puck and Sebastian but Puck's shift had ended an hour ago and now it was just us. The more I worked the more I realized being alone with Sebastian wasn't really something I wanted. He wasn't mean, he was

actually really nice, but that was the very problem.

He was too nice.

The others told me he was always like that and that I didn't need to be worried but, now that I had a boyfriend, and that i couldn't stop blushing and grinning like an idiot every time i thought of that, I didn't really find his seductive touches or crude joke amusing. And I knew by the way Kurt would glare at him that he didn't either. _Sigh blushing again_. Even though my home life had went to shit my new life as Kurt's boyfriend was floating high in the clouds. Cloud nine to be exact.

Kurt was great. He wasn't overbearing or clingy but he was just loving and affectionate enough that I really did feel special. I didn't get any cliché "good morning beautiful" or "thinking about you" but I did get little bits and pieces of random song lyrics and corny pick up lines that always made me laugh. We hadn't gone out on another date but that didn't matter either because we spent any time together we could. It was relaxing to be able to talk about my dad just as easily as I could take about the whether and I also liked it when he opened up to me and told me more about himself.

I won't even get started on how good of a kisser he was and how often he liked to kiss me. _Shit I'm blushing again._

All in all, Kurt was my rock. Of course I loved and adored Rachel and the others and they were breaths of fresh air, but not like Kurt was. He was special and he made me feel just as special.

"No it's okay really. I get off soon anyway," i said, giving Sebastian a soft smile.

"We could always get off together." He said it casually but I didn't miss the implication in his voice and when I gave him an accusing glare he didn't do anything but wink in reply. He didn't know Kurt and I were dating, in fact no one but

maybe Rachel, Tana, and Puck did, but still, he could have held back a little.

"When are you gonna accept that I'm not interested Sebastian. I already told you. I ha-"

"A boyfriend I know. But I don't see him. Come on Blaine, loosen up. Live a little."

"I am living. With him."

Sebastian smiled, holding his hands up in surrender and sauntering off to the back room. I knew he'd be back later and he still didn't get the message but I didn't really care. Thirty more minutes and I wouldn't have to deal with him anyway.

I sat behind the register drawing in my sketchbook and listening to another one of Kurt's tracks when the door opened and the bell signaling a customer rung. It was nine thirty and even though the store didn't close till ten, we usually stopped having customers around eight thirty. I looked up, ready to ask if the person needed any help, but my voice caught in the back of my throat.

Allison walked into the shop, her eyes wandering around the room and her hair pulled up in a high pony tail. I didn't like her simply because of her past history with Kurt but I'd be lying if I said she wasn't beautiful. She was perfectly in shape, her skin flawless, and she dressed like someone with money. Which was code for she looked good. Part of me was like 'damn Kurt you did good' and another part of me was like 'damn Kurt you did too good.'

Allison glanced at the music briefly as if she really didn't even care about and came straight to the front desk where I stood. She wore a smile on her face and dropped her manicured nails on the counter before tossing her pony tail over her shoulder.

"Hey!" she chirped. "Do I know you?"

I wanted to say no but I did want her to know me. I wanted her to know me as the kid who was gonna prevent her from crawling back into Kurt's heart and taking advantage of him again.more

"Yeah, we met at the party la-"

"Ah! You're jackson's little play toy aren't you?"

I frowned. "I'm not little and I'm definitely not Jackson's play toy."

What the fuck?

Allison chuckled. "Ooookay. My bad shortie. Anyway, is Kurt here?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"I said no."

She must have heard the dislike in my voice because her smile faded and she pursed her lips, glaring at me slightly. I glared back. Kurt had promised he wouldn't let her get between us and, though I trusted him now, she was another matter entirely. I wasn't the type to be possessive or really jealous but I also wasn't the type to just sit back and let someone mess up what was so good for me. Kurt had loved her before and I knew as well a the next person that love was something that was pretty hard to just get over. If she tried hard enough, if I let her get too close, then who knows what could happen.

"Well, you obviously are friends with him or whatever so how about you tell him to call me? I'm sure he still has my number."

 _Nope bitch. We deleted it last night._

"Why does he need to call you?"

"How about you let us worry about that, kay? Just deliver the message."

I wanted to yell and maybe even cuss a little but instead I simply smiled and nodded politely. She studied me for a minute before tossing her hair once again and walking out of the shop. I flicked her off as she dipped through the door and it closed behind her.

"Well, she seems nice," Sebastian chuckled, once again appearing next to me. I rolled my eyes and sighed. She wasn't nice she was a bitch. A manipulative one at that. And if I didn't watch my back she was going to prove to be a problem.

"You gonna tell Kurt he's got a hot girl looking for him?"

"Hell no."

Sebastian chuckled. "Cockblock."

"Hell yeah," I mumbled.


	25. Chapter 24

**A/N: Update in honor of #5yearsofBlaineAnderson. Hope you like it and remember that reviews are my friends. You can be too, if you review. ;)**

 **Kurt's POV**

"Kurt!"

I groaned and rolled over, stuffing my face in my pillow and rolling my eyes behind my closed lids. I could feel my brother jumping around on my room and it took everything in my not to jump up and deck him in the face. Before I was rudely interrupted, I was having a wonderful dream about Blaine. No, all you dirty thinkers, it wasn't a wet dream or anything like that it was just...it was just a good dream. I can't exactly explain it. All I know is in the dream he smiled and it made me feel good. I ignored my still screaming brother and sighed.

I missed his smile.

I mean of course he still smiled and we were still in the honeymoon phase of dating or whatever so things between us were great, I just felt bad about his home life being so shitty. If I knew how to help him or knew a safe way to convince his grandparents to lay off while also preventing them from hating me, I would, but unfortunately I didn't.

"Kurt if you don't get your lazy ass u-" I swung around, wrapping my arm around my brother Carson's neck and tackling him into the mattress before climbing on top of him and pinning him there. He moved to scream but I smushed his

face in the blankets.

I looked at the clock on my nightstand and groaned.

"Why the hell are you down here at six thirty in the fucking morning?" I hissed, seriously debating ending my brother's life right there in that moment.

"Hell!" Carson screamed, as if to annoy me even more. Fucking twin brother would probably go around screaming it now and dad would here and I would be the one to take the blame.

"Carson stop cussing."

"You first," he said, standing and launching himself around my neck. I ignored him and looked at for an explanation.

"Dad had to leave for work early and can't drop us off."

"That doesn't answer my question dumbass."

"Who do you think sent me down here?" he laughed.

I rolled my eyes and groaned. I see where I get my laziness from now. "Alright fine, go take showers or whatever you do. Your ass is getting left if you're not ready when I am."

Carson nodded and rushed back upstairs and I flopped down against my bed with yet another sigh. Well this sucked. I had planned on picking Blaine up this morning with one of those blueberry muffins he liked so much. Ha, look at me being all good boyfriend material and shit. Since when was that every the case?

You were good to Allison.

I swallowed.

Way to fuck me up self conscious.

I made my way to the bathroom for a quick shower and tried to get my mood back good but struggled. I hadn't lied when I said I wouldn't let her get between Blaine and I, but I would be lying if I said her coming back here wasn't kind of troubling.

I didn't hate the girl, not anymore, but we weren't exactly on good terms and I knew her well enough to know she wasn't coming back for a fun little visit. Her presence alone was already stirring things up and I knew it would just be a matter of time before I not only had to worry about her and Blaine interacting, but Blaine and Jackson as well.

Because everyone knew that asshole was bound to get involved.

For the millionth time that morning, I sighed. I didn't want to, but I really needed to talk to them both. No one besides few people in our inner circle of friends knew about Blaine and I and, because I was still coming to terms with it, I was nervous to tell anyone else. But I needed Allison to know she didn't have the same hold on me as she used to and I needed Jackson to know if he messed with Blaine again I was gonna bash his face in.

Yeah, I was still pretty damn jealous about that kiss.

I pulled into the school and parked my car next to Blaine's, glancing at the whack paint job but admiring the muscle all the same. It seriously was a nice car, maybe just in need of a makeover. I knew Blaine's first class but I also knew he wouldn't be in there this early so I headed straight to the studio room and smiled when I opened the door and saw everyone already waiting inside, Tana, Puck, and Blaine bickering about something while Brittany and Sam were in their own little world of romance. For a brief moment I wondered if Blaine and I would ever be like that but I shook the thought from my head. We just weren't the type of people who were all clingy and lovey dovey twenty four seven like that.

We could be cute though.

As if to prove it, I walked over and lifted him from the couch before sitting down where he once was and pulling him back into my lap. Blaine blushed before wrapping his arms around my neck and nuzzling his face into my shoulder. I smiled, ignoring the gagging noises Tana and Puck were making.

Haters.

"You seem to be in a good mood," Blaine chuckled, playing with the hair at the base of my neck.

"I am now."

Blaine gasped dramatically and looked at me, a shocked expression on his face. "Kurt Hummel, are you actually implying that, after all this time denying me, I actually make you happy?" He looked at me like I had two heads and I rolled

my eyes as his sarcastic expression broke into a proud smile. He leant forward and pecked my cheek and I turned to face him, his hazel eyes staring back into my blue ones, and tapped my lips. Instead of kissing me, he blushed and looked around, reminding me that other people were in the room.

As if to remind me as well, Sam cleared his throat and glared, mumbling, "Why the fuck are we always the last to know shit?" to his girl who simply chuckled and pecked his pouty lips, telling him it was alright and that unicorns are made to be together.

 _Unicorns?_

I wanted to point out that if they could kiss then we surely could but before I got the opportunity there was a knock on the door. Blaine slid off my lap just as Allison walked in and I tensed, spotting Jackson behind her.

"Hey!" Allison cheered, rushing forward with a smile and quickly claiming the space between Blaine and I. She threw her arms around my neck in a hug and I froze. I didn't know what was worse. The fact that, despite my efforts, her peaches and cream shampoo still had an effect on me, or the glare I could see so evidently on Blaine's face. I glanced at Puck for help and he simply shrugged his large shoulders and tried to keep the grin off his face.

For anyone else this would be amusing. For me it was awkward as hell.

"Hey um... what are you doing here?"

Allison pulled away and tossed her hair over her shoulder. I licked my lips and tried hard to avoid Blaine's eyes only because I knew they would be on me. As mine would be on him if the roles were switched and this was his ex suddenly being thrust back into his life. I wanted to reassure him nothing would happen but I couldn't do more than I already had. I would stay away from her, but, involuntarily, my hearts till skipped a slight beat when she was around and I couldn't help but take her all in.

She really was a beautiful girl...

"Thats actually what I came to talk to you about! Turns out I'm not just back for a visit like I thought."

"What do you mean?" It was Blaine who asked and all of us who waited for an answer.

"Looks like I'll be finishing up junior and senior year here again!" Allison cheered, you could see the excitement on her face. The rest of the room however tensed. Even Puck knew enough not to laugh at my suffering anymore.

I swallowed, waiting for someone to jump out and tell me I was being pranked, and just when I was confident my voice would work again Jackson stepped further into the room and cleared his throat, his eyes focused on Blaine and Blaine only.

"Can I talk to you?"

 _No._

"No."

My eyes found Blaine and I couldn't help but smile proudly. His arms were crossed over his chest and though his body was angled in Allison's direction, he'd shifted his pout onto Jackson and made no attempts to move. It was adorable really. He

was trying so hard to glare and look tough but he was too cute to be threatening and too small to be intimidating. Even still, I was happy he didn't want to speak to Jackson, though he didn't seem to be taking no as an answer.

"Please. It will be quick. I just... I just want to talk."

Jackson had been a cool guy at one point in time and I knew him well enough before to have seen many different sides of him, but it had been years since I last seen him so... genuine. For once he didn't seem like he had any ulterior motives, he seemed like he really just wanted to talk, but then I remembered he'd been responsible for giving Blaine a concussion before and his most recent incident involved kissing him.

"Well don't just sit there Blaine, go talk to the man!" Allison said softly, as if she was encouraging him somehow. I didn't get it, whys he felt the need to encourage him, but whatever the reason it seemed to tick everyone else off.

"Why don't you go talk to him Allison?" Tana suggested, the smile on her face just as sweet as it was fake. Tana had never liked Allison much to begin with and now, after everything thats happened, she had zero tolerance for her.

Allison shrugged and smiled softly. "He didn't ask for me."

Jackson stayed standing in the middle of the room, his eyes still looking nowhere but at Blaine, and after a few minutes Blaine finally sighed and climbed to his feet. He glanced in my direction and sent a glare Allison's way before walking out of

the room and he quickly followed. My eyes darted to Puck and he nodded before standing and going after them. Like hell

I would leave Blaine alone with Jackson again.

"Why'd you send Puck to go baby-sit?"Allison asked.

"Because I don't trust Jackson with Blaine."

For a moment I saw a flash of something in her eyes that I knew all too well: jealousy. It was ironic but, while Allison and I were together the only issue we seemed to have was jealousy. It was the reason Tana was the only female friend I had the reason every other girl you knew not to even think of approaching me. She even got jealous of the time I spent with Puck sometimes. Funny that I can't speak to anyone else of opposite sex yet she can screw my best friend behind my back the whole time.

"Why are you so protective of him?" her voice was light and she seemed unaffected but I could tell she was upset. I used to be protective of her as well but not now. Probably not ever again.

"Because," I said simply, "he's my boyfriend."


	26. Chapter 25

**A/N: Somebody asked what did Jackson wanted to say so TAKE THIS MY BELOVED ONES! Reviews are like cookies and everybody likes cookies.**

 **Blaine's POV**

I followed Jackson out and down the hall and kept my jaw clench, trying to keep from rolling my eyes and at least hearing what he had to say. I didn't know what annoyed me more, not knowing which side of Jackson I was gonna get today, or being forced to leave Allison in there cuddled up with Kurt.

Both options sucked but at least I had the comfort of knowing Tana would slap a bitch if needed.

I loved that girl so much.

I followed Jackson down the hall and towards the gym and eyed him suspiciously as he held the door open for me. If we were being honest my feelings about Jackson were just as confusing as the reason he kissed me last Friday. Before, when he enjoyed bashing my face in, I hated the guy's guts and if I could have ran him over with a semi truck I gladly would have. Now though, well now I didn't know. Sometimes when he talked to me like a normal person he wasn't all that bad. I could actually see how he and Kurt could have been friends in the past. But the normal side of him never seemed to stay present for long so, walking into an empty gym with just him and no one else was kinda suspect.

He could either talk, kiss me, or flush me down a toilet in the boys locker room.

None of those options very exciting for me.

"I'm not gonna bite you Blaine. Could you just come on?"

"Fine. But be warned, I'm not the same guy I was when we first met. If you hit me I'm hitting back, no matter how much bigger than me you are."

I glared at him to try and make sure my point was getting across but I'm sure no matter how deep I tried to make my voice it looked just like a Chihuahua trying to intimidate a pitbull. It just didn't work. So, I followed Jackson into the gym and sat down at the very top of the bleachers with him. Our school gym was pretty big if you ask me but the tension and awkwardness in the air made it feel suffocated and small.

Jackson sat down next to me and I waited patiently. I could see Puck now waiting by the gym door and watching us through the window and that made me at least a bit more comfortable.

"So..." I mumbled, chewing my bottom lip and fidgeting with my fingers. I hated this almost as much as I hated talking to my grandparents.

"Listen I'm just gonna cut to the chase here and blurt it out. You have to promise to listen to me though. You've gotta give me the benefit of the doubt."

"Kinda like you gave me when you thought I was trying to flirt with Quinn? Oh wait, you didn't," I spat.

"Look Quinn was a two timing whore and I'm an ass but you're a good guy and you can manage to give someone the benefit of the doubt right? Can't you just pretend I'm a normal, everyday guy trying to have a normal, everyday conversation with you."

Jackson looked at me and I could see the genuine hope in his eyes but I couldn't return his desperate stare with an understanding one from my end. The fact of the matter was Jackson wasn't a normal everyday guy so this would be hard but, as I've already pointed out before, I liked pretending.

So I'd pretend he was exactly what he wanted to be and give him the benefit of the doubt.

He must have sensed my change in attitude because he sighed in relief and dropped his face in his hands, rubbing the stress from his temples. He took a breath, looked up at the sky, and then back at me before four words I did not want to hear.

"Break up with Kurt."

I was quick with my response.

"Fuck you."

"You said you'd give me the benefit of the doubt!" he growled.

"Yeah when I was under the impression you deserved it! How do you even know Kurt and I are dat-you know what, forget that. Why the hell should I break up with him? And please don't say it's because you don't like him because I swear I will pun-"

"Because this isn't gonna end good for you Blaine. Because he doesn't know how to be in a relationship thanks to Allison. Because Allison isn't going anywhere and the longer it takes you to realize that the more painful it's gonna be when he leave you for her."

I couldn't take this anymore. I didn't know why Jackson felt the need to pull me away and tell me this, why he even decided to care, but it wasn't what I wanted to hear therefore I wasn't gonna listen. He didn't get that my life was literally going to shit right now. Walking into my house meant walking into a freaking war zone and Kurt was the only good thing I had right now so I wasn't just gonna fall back because his ex had showed back up.

Why was everyone so convinced we were going to fail?

Why did people say he was bad at relationships when he'd been great to me so far?

Why the hell did Jackson even care?

I stood up to walk back down the bleachers and Jackson followed. "Blaine wait."

"No."

"Please, just talk to me."

"About what Jackson? You don't like my boyfriend. You think we're not gonna last. You think Allison is better than , that pretty much sums up this conversation right? I get your point, I've heard what you want to talk about, and now I want you to get out of my face and leave me alone."

"I'm trying to help you!"

"WELL STOP!" I screamed, loosing my temper and shoving him in his chest. It didn't do anything but surprise him but it helped me at least. "You can't just beat the shit out of me everyday and then kiss me and think we're suddenly friends or something! I don't like you Jackson! You made my life hell! You get that don't you? You get that everyday I came to school I was afraid to walk down the hall because of you? And then, when I finally think you've left me alone, you kiss me-"

"And you kissed back! I told you I was an ass, I know it, and I'm sorry! From the bottom of my heart Blaine I'm sorry and everyday I'm trying to prove that to you because... fuck Blaine because I like you! I don't know why. I don't know if it's that smart ass mouth, your stubborn attitude, how you're always trying to look out for and protect other people, and your stupid silly bowties or simply the way your ass looks in a pair of jeans but I like you Blaine and I am trying, I am trying so freaking hard to be good for you but then you turn around parading Kurt in my face? How the hell do you think that makes me feel?! When Allison was here he got Allison. Now you're here and he gets you too. Why can't I have something too? Why can't anything good happen for me?"

"Jackson I-"

"Don't Blaine. Just don't."

Jackson sighed and covered his face with both hands, breathing into them deeply and tilting his head up towards the ceiling. A moment ago I'd be ready to go ape shit on his ass but now...well now I didn't really know what to do. No one had ever confessed to liking me before and especially not someone like Jackson. I knew as soon as he said it that I'd be rejecting him but at the same time a part of me couldn't help but want to comfort him. It was weird. Everything I said I meant, he couldn't be my terrorist every day and then come back and expect to be friends with me.

So why did I feel so bad about what he was telling me?

He dropped his hands and looked down at me and I swallowed. In a flash he'd moved forward and had my face cupped between his hands and he was looking down at me with such an intense and genuine stare that I could my knees giving out. I should have pushed him away, I should have told him not to touch me like that, but I didn't move.

After a while of intense staring and my heart beating a mile a minute because I was so nervous, he finally spoke.

"I lied. I lied about everything," he said softly, a look of guilty passing over his features. I blinked back up at him and he sighed, dropping his forehead against mine and closing his eyes. I could feel his breath on my lips and he was so close now that our chest were touching but still I didn't pull away. I didn't know why and something was screaming at me that I should, but I just couldn't. I felt like he was trying to tell me something and if I pulled away now I'd ruin any chances of him opening up to me again.

I saw Puck by the door with a glare and his fist clenched. He was walking over to us, ready to pull Jackson and I apart, but I motioned for him to wait and took a breath, dancing around which words were the right ones to use in this situation.

"W-What do you mean? You lied about liking me..."

Jackson shook his head, his eyes still closed. "No. No, that part was the truth."

"Then what did you lie about?"

Jackson was quiet for such a long period of time I was afraid he'd given up speaking but, when he finally did speak again, he opened his eyes and the raw emotion in them was enough to make goosebumps appear on my arms.

"Kurt is good for you. He's a good guy Blaine. He'll take care of you to the best of his abilities, but, you have to understand... A-Allison.. I can't explain it Blaine. I know what she did to us was wrong, we both know it, but she has a hold onus neither one of us can seem to get rid of no matter how hard we try. She was the first girl we ever loved. You can't just forget your first love like that, even if they didn't love you back truthfully."

"Jackson what are you saying?"

"I'm saying she'd not going anywhere soon. I don't know why she's back but she is and her first order of business was to get me to try and separate you two. I thought I was willing because I like you and want you for myself, but I realize now it was just a manipulation game. I didn't even realize it'd be helping her to have you two separated. Thats how she is. She's conniving and manipulative and once she has your heart she's never gonna let it go again but by the time you realize that it's gonna be too late. She wants Kurt and she's not gonna stop till she gets him. Just like I'm not gonna stop till I get you."

"Jackson please I-"

"Watch out for Allison . She's a rose with thorns and if you get pricked a simple band-aid isn't gonna fix anything."

Before I could say anything else Jackson turned and walked away, bumping shoulders with Puck as he went. I watched him go then sighed and knotted my fingers in my hair and groaned in frustration.

"What the hell was that about?" Puck hissed, coming over and dropping a comforting hand on my shoulder. I leaned into his touch and sighed.

"I don't know. I can't figure out if he was declaring war with me or warning me about the upcoming one. But one things for sure. We've gotta figure out how to get that bitch Allison back to New York and as far away from Kurt as possible.


	27. Chapter 26

**A/N: Sorry for the late and short update, final exams and work and shit happens. Don't forget to review. Love ya' all.**

 **Blaine's POV**

I sat in my room sketching another picture of my boyfriend - _yes my_ boyfriend with _his perfect face that was already craved in my brain, every line, every curve, every shadow, sigh-_ with Cooper slept next to me, when Rachel walked in. She was wearing a solid black crop top and jeans, her hair was flawlessly straightened, and her make up done to perfection. Despite her gorgeous

appearance there was a pout on her face and she looked upset.

"Am I slut?" she blurted, flopping down at the foot of my bed. Cooper stirred but didn't wake and Rachel turned over onto her stomach and smiled softly, running her fingers through Cooper's hair.

I looked up from my drawing and couldn't stop the confused smile on my face.

"What?" I chuckled.

Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes at me as if, because I was her twin, I was inclined to be able to read her mind. She stood up and began pacing around the corners of my room and fidgeting with the things on my dresser and it was only then that I

knew she was being serious. When I was nervous about something I had a habit of simply ignoring reality and pretending things were okay. When Rachel was nervous she fidgeted. I set my sketchbook down and swung my legs over the edge of my bed and sat up.

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

"Yes I'm seriously asking that! You remember Jesse right?"

"Yeah, he singed with you at the showcase."

"Right. Well we got along so of course we stayed friends after the showcase and he just...ugh!"

"Is he annoying now or something?"

"I wish that were the case! He's freaking perfect!" she grumbled, throwing her hands in the air and clenching her fist as if she could somehow reach out and chock him. "I'm gonna be single the rest of my life I swear. I mean how terrible at relationships can I be? First I crush on a guy who turns out to be gay and wants to bang my brother, then I end up crushing on a guy who already has a girlfriend and is freaking madly in love with her. It's not fair Blaine, why can't I have somebody

hot too?" Rachel whined sadly.

"Puck is single and ready to mingle." _Really, Blaine? REALLY?_

Rachel turned and gave me an 'you've got to be kidding' look and I couldn't help but laugh loudly. Puck was definitely hot and even Rachel would admit it but he was not, however, single and ready to mingle. All he cared about was how good your ass looked in a pair of jeans and whether or not you'd let him smoke afterwards. Just the other day he came to school bragging about how good some girl was in bed and talking about how hot it was when she clawed his back. He wasn't even ashamed of the fact that she's had a boyfriend of two years now. Relationships weren't exactly his forte.

"Okay okay, you're right, that was a mean joke," I giggled. "If it makes you feel any better, you're totally not a slut for having a crush on someone. I mean, you can't help who you like right? I couldn't help liking Kurt even though he was straight. He was just too drool worthy. I mean, have you seen my boyfriend Rachel? I need to pat myself on the back because like dam that ma-"

"Blaine."

"Hmm? Oh yeah, right. Anyway, a crush is harmless and uncontrollable and no, you are not a lust just because you like him."

"Well...what if we also like, hang out together a lot. And then he pays for me so my heart it all like 'you on a date boo' but then my mind is like 'no no, ain't no time to be catching feelings' but at the same time both my heart and mind are like 'but if

he ask you out again don't even considering saying no.' Then what? Then am I a hoe?"

"My mind is telling me nooo, but my body, my body is telling me yee-"

"Blaine stop quoting R. Kelly and help me!" Rachel huffed.

"What do you want me to say?!" I laughed. "No Rachel I do not think you are a slut or hoe or whatever other thing you can come up with. Do I think going out with him one on one so often is a good idea? No. But it's not like anyone is going to get

hurt because you guys hang out every now and then."

"So if Kurt wanted to go see a movie with Allison you wouldn't have a problem with it?"

"Fuck that bitch and the hole she crawled out of."

Immediately the casual feeling in the air was tense and, even as Rachel laughed at me, I couldn't help but get an attitude. I hated Allison. Maybe that made me sound like the jealous dramatic boyfriend or whatever but it was true. She was beautiful

and absolutely nothing but trouble and the fact that she'd done Kurt so wrong in the past made me dislike her even more.

"Look I already told you how to handle her," Rachel shrugged, as if it were no big deal.

"You told me not to do anything at all Rachel."

"Which is exactly what you need to do. If she wants Kurt back then she's gonna do her best to start drama with you which will in turn start it with Kurt as well. If you let her get under your skin you're gonna be the one who comes off as annoying because you'll be the one complaining to Kurt all the time. She'll be the innocent little bitch who just sits back and watches it all happen."

"Okay maybe you're right but I can't just sit back and hand my boyfriend to her."

"You won't Blaine. You sit back and continue to be a tease like your sister told you -you gotta make him work for some stuff, keep the boy entertained- and I will figure out a way to handle Allison. Now," Rachel stood up and straightened out her clothing before leaning forward to kiss Cooper's cheek and hug me goodbye, "I have to get going. Jesse's coming over soon and we're gonna go check out the carnival that's in town."

"Slut."

"Asshole," Rachel grumbled, slapping the back of my head. I chuckled and watched her go before sighing and stretching out on the bed . When Rachel spoke she had a point and I wanted to listen to her, but I was like my father in the sense that if something affected me, I'd like to be the one to handle it. I didn't know how to just sit back and relax when I knew Allison could easily be out there doing the exact opposite.

I was nearly asleep when my phone vibrated next to me and I yawned before rolling over to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, were you sleeping?"

"Not really."

"Well, can we um, can we talk then?"

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. No. No we could not talk.

"I really don't think this is such a good ide-"

"If you wanna know what Allison is planning I think you should find some time to talk to me. I just want to talk Blaine."

My room was dark now and with came a sense of guilt. Just like the typical dark setting in a scary movie, I felt like this was a bad idea. Like nothing really good could come from it, but what else was I supposed to do?

"Fine. What do you want to talk about Jackson?"


	28. Chapter 27

**A/N: I have one important news and a question: First this gonna be the next-to-last chapter of the year 'cause I'm gonna take a break and unplug from all my devices. Second which one is the bottom Kurt or Blaine? ;) Plz plz plz plz plz review**

 **Kurt's POV**

I pulled up in front of Puck's house and laid on the horn. I knew both he and his neighbors heated it when I did that which is exactly why I did it every time I came to pick him up. It had become a sort of tradition you know?

The front door opened and Puck came sprinting out of the house just as his neighbord opened her door to yell at us. I laughed and waved at the woman and Puck slid into the passenger seat of my jeep and punched me in my arm and I pulled off and onto the street, headed to Sam's house next.

"Why are you such an ass so early in the morning?" Puck complained around a yawn as I drove. I knew I wasn't a morning person but Puck was worse. He was always slow, grumpy, and pouting which was why I made it my mission to annoy him in the mornings as much as possible. He reached for a pack of cigarettes and I smacked them out his hand.

"Hey, no smoking in my car. I told you my dad can smell that shit."

"Calm down, I'll open a window." I tried to smack them away again but the bastard ignored me and lit the cigg before taking a long dry and sighing, blowing it out the window.

"So, you tell Blaine what Allison said yet?"

I pulled over to a stop in front of Sam's house and glanced out my own window with a frown, lifting my arms to push my fingers through my hair and out of my face. The last time I spoke to Allison things were... interesting, to say the least. I hadn't expected just blurting out my relationship with Blaine like that but at the same time I didn't regret it either. I did however, feel a bit bad. Allison had reacted as if I'd just slapped her across the face. She didn't say anything but I could see the hurt in her eyes and even after everything, after all she'd done to me, I couldn't help but feel guilty for being the one to put it there. After the initial shock of everything though she'd managed to force a smile and tell me the real reason why she was here.

Music.

When Allison left she went to New York because a major producer there had been willing to sign her. I had been hurt because I though with both mine and Allison's talent combined we could have made something of ourselves together. Hell, even she and Jackson could have done something if they really tried.

I was so in love with that girl that if she ditched me for him even then I would figure out a way to handle it because then at least I could still see her. We ended completely once she moved to New York. She was back now though because, though things were going well with her producer, he apparently didn't get her sound like I did. She wanted to make an EP with me.

"I mean I haven't but it's not like it's a secret or anything like that. I'm gonna tell him I just..."

"... trying to figure out whether she's playing you or not. It's cool, I get it," Puck said smugly, a smirk on his face.

"She's not playing me asshole," I muttered, punching him in his shoulder, "I mean if she were to come back like yeah I'm a changed person and I wanna start over and be your friend then yeah, I might be a little concerned she was playing me. But music is different. Neither of us has ever played around when it comes to music."

Sam came skipping from the front door of his house and jumped into the backseat. "Morning boys," he said, leaning his head through the middle of our seats and smiling widely. "I miss anything?"

"Kurt is actually considering working with Allison."

"I never said-"

"Oh man," Sam grimaced, "I don't think thats such a good idea. I mean this is Allison we're talking about. What if she's playing with you."

"Thats what I tried to tell him Sammy."

"Guys, I never sai-"

"Not to mention you've got Blaine now so it's not even like if she did play you you wouldn't be loosing anything."

"Mmmhmm. Preach it Sam," Puck agreed.

"Sam don't listen to Puck. I never said anyth-"

"I mean think of all that time in the studio. Just you and her. You're a teenage boy and Allison is hot as fuck. What are you gonna do if she wants to make a sexy song or something? This whole you being gay thing is new for me but I like Blaine and if you cheat on him-"

"How did making an EP with Allison turn into cheating on Blaine?"

"SO YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT?!" both Puck and Sam yelled at the same time. I rolled my eyes and pulled into the parking lot before parking my car and getting out. I wanted to leave them but they both realized this and quickly ran after me.

"You two are annoying and I don't know why I'm friends with you."

"Because we keep you from doing stupid things like making music with your ex girlfriend."

"And we're awesome," Sam added in quickly. "Seriously though, weigh your pros and cons of this situation."

"There are no cons though because I'm not gonna do anything. Besides, it's not like I even said I was gonna do it in the first place so it's really not a big deal."

Before Sam or Puck could say anything else I stepped into the school and headed straight towards the art room where I knew Blaine would be. However, as soon as I stepped into the halls I knew something was off. I was used to people looking at or greeting me in the mornings but I wasn't used to so many people starring at me and not saying a word. A silence seemed to drape over anyone I passed and they simply starred instead.

I swallowed, not needing to be a rocket scientist to know that our relationship was out.

When I got to the art room and I walked inside to find Tana and Blaine picking up what looked like a knocked over portfolio. I didn't think anything of it but my eyes widened when I realized what exactly they were doing. They were cleaning up Blaine's paintings. Everything he'd worked on had either been slashed in the middle or ruined by the words 'faggot' and 'ass kisser' and 'homo' written in big red letter over the original artwork. I must have made a noise because Blaine looked up and the smile he gave me was enough to kill me.

He looked guilty.

"Hey," he said, tucking a piece of work behind him and blushing. "I um, I w-was gonna come see you later on. I didn't mean for you to see this." Blaine looked down and I frowned before crossing the space in the room and pulling him into my arms. He was tense for a moment before I finally felt his shoulders shake and he whimpered softly as he clung to me. I glanced at Tana and she gave me a sad smile before nodding and leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Blaine I am so sorry. This is all my fault. I had no idea when I told Allison the rest of the school would find out too."

"I really don't like her very much," Blaine chuckled, wiping the tears from his eyes.

I grimaced.

 _There is con number one._

"I-I know baby, but we need to figure out who did this? Was it like this when you came this morning? I bet it was Jackson. Jesus if Jackson is still messing wi-"

"It wasn't Jackson Kurt and I just... I really don't even care. I'm just worried." Blaine sighed and let his head fall back against my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me tightly. For a moment I was afraid he meant he was worried someone would try and attack him next but, with the way he was clinging to me, I knew that wasn't the case.

"You're worried that, because people don't exactly agree with this, I'll leave you so that I don't get harassed too." It was more of a statement than a question but Blaine's silence answered it all the same.

"Blaine I-"

"It was just hard getting to this point and now that we're finally here it feel like all the odds are stacked against us. I like you a lot Kurt but I don't want to force you into something you don't really want to be in."

"Blaine you're not forcing me into anything I don't want to be in," I said, cupping his face in my hands and lifting his chin so that he could see the sincerity in my eyes. His hazel eyes stared back at me and I kissed the tears from his long lashes. "I'm with you because I want to be and I will continue to stay with you because I want to. I know this hasn't exactly been the perfect honeymoon stage everybody always talks about but it's fine. I just need you not to worry. I'm not going anywhere."

I could see the doubt circling in Blaine's eyes but I could also see the hope there and, thankfully, that side won out. I knew this was hard for him but he was trusting me and I loved him for it. Blaine leaned up and kissed my lips softly and I kissed back. I wanted to tell him about Allison and the possibility of us working together again but, before I did that, I wanted to find out who'd destroyed his artwork.

And, despite him thinking Jackson was innocent for some reason, he was the first person I planned to go to.

 **A/N: BOOM! You didn't expect that! 'til next chapter love y'all and don't forget to review.**


	29. Chapter 28

**A/N: This the last chapter of the year guys. Happy Holidays.** **May all your endings be happy and...** **Well, you know the rest! See you next year. AAAND don't forget to review pretty plz with a cherry on top.**

 **Blaine's POV**

"Peanut Butter or Jelly?"

"Peanut Butter obviously."

"Ham or Turkey?"

"Ham. Honey Baked."

"Sierra Mist or Sprite?"

"Sprite."

"Me or Adam Levine?"

"Ada-"

"If you finish that sentence I'm dumping you."

I laughed loudly and fell back into Kurt's arms, cuddling into his chest and giggling as he pouted and tugged at my hair. It was Saturday, just a few days after coming out at school, and after everything thats been going on Kurt and I decided we just needed a day to ourselves. And so, here we were, cuddled up in his bedroom listening to music and eating crappy junk food while we asked each other random questions.

"I can't believe you just chose Adam Levine over me," Kurt muttered but I could tell by the smile on his lips that he wasn't really mad. I chuckled and leaned forward, pecking his lips before sitting up and resting my back against the headboard of his bed. Kurt looked surprisingly nice today. I mean he looked nice everyday but today he wore an army green button down with the sleeves rolled to his elbow and black jeans that did wonders for his ass. His hair was messy and his nose ring was black instead of silver today. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone and I had the strong desire to undo the rest. I felt average compared to him. All I wore was a sweater and some fitted jeans.

Rachel would be so disappointed.

"I mean have you seen he? Maybe not because you're just now accepting you might be gay, but I've been gay all of my life and lemme tell you, he is the lead vocalis for a reason," I said, making a dazed face before smiling and taking a sip of my drink.

"I heard his music is terrible though."

"I mean it is nothing compared to -"

Before I could finish my sentence a hand was on my thigh and I gasped as Kurt yanked me down and away from the headboard. He was on top of me in an instant and I smiled widely, not even hesitating to wrap my arms around his neck and shoulders. When Kurt and I first began to date I was worried about a lot of things, one of them being his attraction to me. If we were being technical, Kurt was still considered straight. He was still attracted to girls and, even if he wouldn't admit it, I knew he still wanted to settle down and marry a girl someday. I was worried that even if he did care about me like that he wouldn't be physically attracted to me. Fortunately though, he took every chance he got to prove me wrong.

Kurt looked down at me, his eyes wide and filled with a playful excitement that made my heart throb. "I think you need to stop talking about other men in my bed before we have a problem."

"Why? It's not like we're in the middle of anything."

The corner of Kurt's lips twitched into a smirk before he leant forward and closed the space between us. I smiled into the kiss just like I always did and our teeth bumped as he laughed at me.

Eventually we stopped being such goofballs and our lips molded together perfectly, Kurt's hands on my hips and and my fingers tangling into his hair.

We didn't get moments like these often so when we did I tried my best to savor them. Kurt was upset about what happened at school, he wanted to go on some revenge mission and be my guardian angel just like he was the first day we met but, with everything going on outside of our relationship, I didn't want to add petty bullying to the list of things to stress about. Besides, I seemed to be the only target anyway. No one messed with Kurt.

Kurt's tongue slipped between my lips and behind my teeth and I spread my lips further apart to give him room to explore my mouth. His grip on me tightened and, when he lowered his hips so our groins met, I moaned softly, slipping one of my legs between his. I knew who would win dominance but our tongues battled anyway until I gave in and let him lead me in the kiss. I slid one of my arms lower down his back, pulling him tighter against me if all possible, and Kurt's fingers snaked up and beneath my shirt and tickled the skin on my stomach. I didn't know how far we would go but I knew Kurt's father was gone as well as his brother and we had all the time in the world. Time I was eager to make use of.

 **Kurt's POV**

Crashing our lips together in desperation for the taste of his tongue and the feel of his body against mine. I knew that Blaine felt the same as his hand slid down the length of my back to the backside, grabbing my ass and rubbing his erection against my thigh.

"Way too many clothes Blaine," I complained, but it got lost in my throat as I moaned with Blaine's thrust against me.

"You have no idea," Blaine murmured into my mouth, "how bad I want you. Have wanted you since forever."

I smirked against Blaine's lips, my hands running up Blaine's chest and removing his jumper. "I think I do."

"I spent so many nights dreaming about you, wanting you inside me."

"Tell me," I whispered hotly as laiding Blaine down and straddled him, ridding him of his shirt. "Tell me what I did to you in your dreams"

 _He blushed. So cute and hot like always._

"You were on top of me, just like this," he said reaching out to caress my thighs. "Your body, your eyes staring down at me like some greek god I'd been given the privilege to see."

 _God my cock just pulsed against this damn jeans._

I smiled, leaning over to lick devilishly down his neck and Blaine shivered beneath me with desire. "Hmmm… and you were so deep inside me, making me feel so good."

 _Who knew he talks dirty. So hot._

I leaned back, rocking my hips against Blaine's so that electricity sparked through our bodies with pleasure. Blaine reached behind me and cupped my ass, encouraging every thrust.

"Is that what you want Blaine?"

His eyes were dark with desire, pupils blown with lust.

"Do you want me inside you? Fucking you?"

I didn't believe I could think straight with Blaine talking like that, my cock so close, so hard, and yet so far away, but he gathered his senses if only for a moment.

"Yes"

 **Blaine's POV**

Kurt leaned down and kissed my lips, soft but sure, his tongue begging entrance as if in answer. He threaded his fingers through my now messy curls, tugging just enough to feel so amazingly hot with the hint of pain that I gasped at the sensation. "God, Kurt, please…" stammering against his lips.

"Yes," Kurt whispered. He traced his hand down my chest, already slick with sweat, and he inched back onto his thighs. His fingers slowly made their way down from my belly button to the top of my jeans. Kurt slipped a finger just under the waistline and I shivered beneath his lingering touch, a moan of anticipation escaping my lips as Kurt tormented me. It melted into babbling as Kurt undid the button and lowered the zipper achingly slow until his palm pressed against my already rigid cock.

"So ready for me aren't you,"

"God yes, please,"

Kurt chuckled as he slipped my remaining clothing off. Kurt bit his lip at the sight of my leaking erection, his own now throbbing almost painfully against his painted on jeans.

"You are so gorgeous," Kurt breathed, I could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he leaned down to give my cock a soft kiss. He looked up, a mischievous smirk on his lips. "Now no touching," he ordered with a twinkle in his eye.

"Fuck Kurt, let me see you, please," I begged, leaning up slightly on my elbows. Kurt smiled as he removed his clothing, and me trying desperately to remain both graceful and sexy.

Kurt licked his lips and I fell back onto the bed, a new surge of arousal rushing through me. It gave Kurt the chance to reach into his bag, grabbing the condoms and lube he had bought the night before just in case. Then he crawled over me like a predator ready to catch his prey.

Kurt licked up the vein on the underside of my ock, then kissed up my torso, his hands massaging my thighs. His tongue mapped out the curves and dips of my frame.

I reached up to grasp it, the power mixed with softness intoxicating his senses. Kurt was lost in his own discoveries, exploring every inch. He kept his ministrations slow, teasing, my whimpers and moans beneath him imparting all the perimssion he needed to continue. He stopped when he reached one of my nipples, looking down and waiting for me to look up at him, desperation clear in his eyes. The moment their eyes met, Kurt sucked my nipple into his mouth, rolling it on his tongue and biting down just hard enough for me to throw my head back with a moan.

 **Kurt's POV**

"Did you like that?" I asked with a grin, not truly needing the answer because the pulse of Blaine's hardness beneath me answered on its own. Teased the other nipple while shifted my legs from between Blaine's to straddle him, both moaning as our cocks pressed against each other.

"You didn't answer my question, Blaine, Did you like that?" I asked again, thrusting firmly against him.

"Yes! Fuck!" Blaine groaned, already way too close to falling over the edge.

Blaine breathed out. "Please. I can't."

"Hm?" I hummed against his neck as sucked a strong hickey.

"I need you, Kurt," Blaine whispered almost brokenly. "Please, baby."

I nodded against the crook of his neck and sat back on my legs, grabbing the lube and condom. "Open up for me," said, nudging Blaine's legs farther apart.

Blaine did, his hand caressing my chest. "You're so beautiful. What did I ever do to deserve you?"

The adoring look in Blaine's eyes making me melt. "You accepted me for me. That's all I could ever hope for."

Blaine's words caught in my throat as teased him with my finger.

"What was that?"

Blaine shook his head, forgetting everything he had been saying and making the best noises i've ever heard, as I carefully inserted a single finger.

"Fuck that feels so good," he moaned.

Stretching Blaine slowly, reveling in the power Blaine was allowing me as he thrashed underneath me. The closer Blaine got to the edge, the louder he became, begging for more, needing more. And as I inserted a second then a third finger, brushing skillfully against the bundle of nerves, Blaine could no longer take the wait.

"Kurt, please," he pleaded, "I'm not going to last and I don't want to…I need you now."

"Ok," Kurt breathed, removing his fingers and grabbing the condom.

I fumbled with it, nerves suddenly coursing through me. Blaine reached over and grabbed it, ripping the package open with his teeth. "May I?"

I nodded, closing my eyes and sighing as Blaine rolled the condom onto me. As soon as Blaine removed his hand, coated myself with the remaining lube on my fingers and lined up.

"Ready?"

Blaine nodded eagerly. Sliding in slowly, throwing my head back in pleasure. "Fuck Blaine, you feel so good. Oh god."

Blaine groaned as his body began to quiver. I leaned forward, my hips thrusting in and out slowly, deliberately, my lips catching Blaine's mid moan. Lost all sense of time, only separating when desperately in need of air.

 **Blaine's POV**

My cock pulsated on my belly, aching for release and grasped at Kurt's ass. "Touch me," breathed with the only strength I had left. "Please."

Kurt grabbed my thigh and brought it up, resting it on his shoulder. He kept his thrusts slow but hard, and grasped my cock in his hand. He matched his thrusts with his hand and urged him faster and harder with only the touch of my fingertips, all words lost to me in my haze of ecstasy. Kurt was happy to comply though, his own climax nearing. He scraped his nails against my thigh and it was the final sensation needed to lose all control. We fell over the edge together, waves of pleasure coursing through as our muscles shuddered and convulsed against one another. Clutched furiously at each other, never wanting it to end.

Our bodies continued to twitch at the contact and Kurt eventually rolled off, curling up next to me, his arm and leg still thrown over me as our breathing slowed.

We kissed, but Kurt pulled away from me. He didn't pull away from me entirely but my lips were no cold due to his absence and the seriousness in his eyes was beginning to concern me.

 _He's regreting already. He still loves Alison._

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up on my elbows and frowning softly. The last time Kurt looked at me the way he was now -his eyes relaxed but still somehow intense as he studied every variable of my face- was when he told me in the store that, even though he'd been the one to kiss me, it hadn't been anything serious and he couldn't be anything more than friends. It was his thinking face but more importantly it was his face when he was thinking about me.

"Nothing," he whispered, reaching a hand forward and grazing his fingers through my hair.

His eyes fell from my own and focused on my lips and I swallowed. He always did this, this staring thing, and each time I was more uncomfortable than the time before. I was open with Kurt and I was confident that he knew more about me than anyone else but, even still, his staring couldn't help but make me nervous. I was worried if he stared too long he'd find something he didn't like.

"Kurt stop."

"Stop what?"

"Doing that. It freaks me out."

"Is it because I'm the one staring or you just naturally get nervous when all the attention is on you like this?"

I didn't respond and that alone was my answer. I did get nervous when all attention was on me like this. It was one of the reasons I enjoyed art so much. Everything I wanted to say, everything I wanted people to know and what I wanted to express, I could say it all through paintbrushes and everyone would focus on that instead of me and all my imperfections.

Kurt smiled softly and leaned forward, capturing my lips in another kiss though this one was chaste and gentle. "Can I tell you something crazy?" he mumbled between kissing me. I wrapped my arms around him and nodded as I continued the sweet and sensual kiss, not wanting to stop anytime soon.

"Mm~" was all I managed to say.

"I'm in love with you."

The words left Kurt's mouth like a tidal wave. He spoke softly and sweetly, his lips never parting from mine, and when they were first uttered I barely even heard them. It was the quiet before the storm so to speak. And then I opened my eyes and found his staring back at mine and bam, I was overtaken with them and havoc reeked inside of me as I struggled to surface from the wave of emotion quite literally destroying me inside.

"Say something Blaine," Kurt whispered, his thumb running over the side of my face.

I didn't know what to say. My heart was doing cartwheels in my chest and I was flying over cloud nine. I was happy. I was ecstatic. I was in love. But I was also scared and it was hard to tell that it was real or just the heat of the moment and whether the butterflies in my stomach were actual butterflies or wasps.

Kurt was patient with me, he even let me move back and away from him without protesting, but I knew I'd have to say something back, this wasn't a moment where I could just pretend like I usually did.

"Isn't it too soon? We've only been dating for a little over a week... though we just had sex"

"But we've had feelings for each other a lot longer than that haven't we?" Kurt asked, a knowing smirk on his lips.

God I loved that smirk.

"I know I just... well- isn't there an order for this or something? L-Like some timeline we have to follow? Or are you saying that because w-what we just d-did?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Either way some cliche timeline someone else created doesn't really matter to me." Kurt reached forward and wrapped his arm around my waist, smiling comfortably as he pulled me close and into his chest. "I know how I feel about you Blaine and I don't need the rest of the world dictating when I can or can't tell it to you. Maybe I'm being impulsive. Maybe it is too soon. But I mean it. If you would have asked me if I meant it yesterday I would have said yes and if you ask me if I still mean it tomorrow I'm still gonna say yes. Thats all there is to it Blaine."

As Kurt spoke the wasps I was feeling were slowly turning into butterflies once again and my eyes were stinging as they brimmed with tears I fought to hold back. I was a thinker and a worrier and nothing was just that simple to me. Kurt however was relaxed and just kinda went with the flow. Doing that was hard for me but I'd never been so ready to jump on board with him and just relax than I ever had been before.

Maybe that really was all there was to it.

We stayed silent for a few moments, Kurt nuzzling into my hair.

"Hmm. You're a sap babe."

A large smile cracked across Kurt's face and we both laughed together as he pinched my side.

"You're such an asshole," he chuckled.

"I know. But I'm an asshole who's in love with you too."


	30. Chapter 29

**A/N: Don't hate me for tis REALLY late update and making Desires to look like an abadoned fic, i have just one excuse vacations lol. Now lets begin the year with some angst. Hope you like it, I like it, but i like more your reviews. Love y'all.**

 **Blaine's POV**

For some odd reason it was freezing today. It was spring, we were just a week form our spring break even, but every time I stepped outside I started shivering as if I was on the freaking North Pole. I hated dealing with the cold and so I sat after school in my art class huddled up in a long sleeve shirt, gloves, a hat, a scarf, and one of Kurt's hoodies which smelt so nice and was so big and cozy I didn't think I would ever give it back. Kurt. Oh how I loved that boy. It's been a few days since he told me he was in love with me and I feel like now that it's out in the open we can just relax. We don't have to feel the pressure of trying to figure out just how much we care about each other or freaking out about when, and if even, we should confess how we feel or who should be the first to say it or any of that cliche stuff teenagers always worry about in the movies. We can just be open with each other and, considering all the stress of our everyday lives, that was a good thing. Kurt was my salvation. We weren't perfect and sometimes he annoyed me just like sometimes I annoyed him. Sometimes we got into arguments over little things and sometimes I was jealous when he said he couldn't go out with me because he wanted to have a boys day and, considering I was his boyfriend, it didn't really count. Sometimes he got annoyed when we all hung out at the mall and I paid more attention to Tana and the outfits she and Rachel were picking out than I did him. There were all kinds of things I could list but no matter what our good always outweighed our bad. He treated me well, we went on dates, he wasn't afraid to show a little public affection here and there, and most importantly we were best friends. Even if we weren't being romantic I could still just sit on the phone with him and talk about absolutely nothing and be happy. I felt like thats what a good relationship was. It was one my mother and father had when he was still alive. I picked up the brush for my painting and spread it across the board, using the edge of the hairs so that my strokes were thinner. It was hard making such a straight line when I was shivering but I managed to do it anyway and took a step back, smiling proudly. While my relationship with Kurt was great, I was still bullied here and there and because my artwork portfolio had been destroyed by said bullies, I had to make a new one. Hence the reason I was still here an hour after school had already ended.

"Blaine, I'll be right back. I've got to go print a few papers and then discuss something with Mrs. Sarp. Will you be okay in here?" Mr. Davis, my art teacher asked, he was an old man in his mid to late fifties but age was doing him well. He wasn't always the nicest guy but I had to admit he knew what he was doing when it came to art and he did at least care about people's grades. If you needed help all you had to do was ask and for that he seemed like a pretty good teacher.

"Yeah sure." Mr. Davis nodded and walked out and I headed back to finishing up my last painting of he day. I was nearly done too when the door opened and in walked, who I assumed, was Mr. Davis.

"What a pretty painting." I frowned before turning around and frowning even more when I spotted Allison. Over the days of her going to this school it's become painfully obvious that we don't like each other. People kiss her feet and worship the ground she walks on like she's a queen and, because I've never been the type to keep my mouth shut‐ just ask my grandparents, I tend to make snide comments about it and of course everyone turns on me and thinks I'm the ass. No one realizes that she makes snide comments back or that, when we're alone in moments like this, she's the biggest bitch known to man kind. I know she's the reason I'm getting bullied but I haven't told Kurt yet. Even though I hate her, I know Kurt still has some type of feelings for her and I'm just not ready to ruin the image of her completely.

"What do you want Allison?"

Allison smiled softly and shrugged her shoulders, tossing her hair over one and walking further into the room. "Just to talk," she said with a sickly sweet smile. "How's school been for you?"

"I don't have time to entertain your shit today Allison," I grumbled. The room was already cold enough and now that she was here it felt even colder. I pouted, snuggling further into Kurt's hoodie and trying to block out the disturbance in the room.

"Oh right, I have done a pretty good job making life hell for you haven't I?" Allison smiled. I glared and she just chuckled, getting up and gliding around the room, her arms folded over her chest as she glanced at my paintings.

Judgmental bitch.

"I need you to skip your date with Kurt tonight. I need him."

This caught my attention and I set my paintbrush down, making a sound between a cough and chuckle. It was crazy that she thought I would cancel a date with Kurt so they could hang out, but it was even crazier that she thought they would hang out.

"Allison what are you even talking about? You and Kurt aren't friends anymore remember?"

"That what he told you?"

"What do you mean 'is that what he told you? It's what I know. I asked him not to speak to you anymore and, because he's not drooling over you like he used to, he listened."

"Well you may wanna check your boyfriends drool again," Allison purred. She leaned against the table and smirked before pulling her phone out of her pocket and messing around on it before music began to fill the room. She didn't have to tell me it was her singing, I figured as much, but what made my eyes widen was the voice humming along to the chorus in the background. That one I definitely knew by heart.

"Do me a favor and tell Kurt to call me?" with another sickly sweet smiles, Allison waved before gliding out the room and giggling.

There were a lot of things I didn't like in the world and I had a list of pet peeves but, being humiliated was definitely in my top five, if not my number one, and damn if I didn't feel humiliated. I felt the tears in my eyes and my throat clench but I refused to get emotional over this. I was mad and I planned to talk about it but I didn't want to cry anymore. Allison hadn't broken me before and so I wouldn't let her break me now.

"Hey Blaine, leaving already?"

"Y‐Yeah. Sorry Mr. Davis, I've gotta go." I grabbed my things and pushed past the man and down the otherwise empty school halls. There were a few people still here but not many and none that mattered at least. As I made my way towards the parking lot I noticed Allison and a few of her friends laughing at me but I ignored them and went straight for my car, tossing my bag in the back and pulling out my phone before dialing Kurt. He picked up on the third ring just as I pulled up to the stop sign to leave the school parking lot, flicking Allison and her friends off on my way.

"Hey ba‐"

"You're a fucking twat Kurt."

"Wooaah," Kurt chuckled and I hated him for it because I could see the little crease between his eyes when he laughed and it was the cutest thing ever.

I wished I could erase it.

"Why exactly am I a twat?"

"Because you lied to me about Allison! You're working on an EP with her aren't you?" When Kurt didn't respond I scoffed in disbelief, leaning back against my seat and trying to focus on driving while still successfully being pissed at him.

"Thats all you have to say for yourself? Silence? Thats the only thing I'm gonna get?"

"Blaine you need to calm do‐"

"No don't‐ don't do that! Are you gonna at least try and explain yourself? Can I at least get the honor of hearing some bullshit excuse and those sappy apologies that will make me want to take you back?"

"Okay first of all, what the hell do you mean take me back? Are you trying to break up with me?"

"What? No, no I‐"

"Good cuz I may just beat your ass if you do. Now, second of all, I don't have to explain myself to anybody."

Kurt and I were great. Our chemistry together was good, we had things in common but not so much that it would be boring, and he was a damn good kisser. Overall I'd give our relationship a ten. There was one slight problem though: we were both stubborn fuckers. Neither of us ever liked to admit when we were wrong and so our arguments never really go us anywhere. I knew it, but, because I was stubborn, it's not like I was capable of being the bigger man and just letting this go. Besides, he was in the wrong here.

"You do when you've lied to that person!"

"Blaine I didn't lie to you!"

"I asked you to stay away from Allison and you said, 'sure babe, it's not like I had planned on getting close with her again anyway.' So imagine my surprise when the bitch comes in waving around some song you've been working on together! Do you know how humiliating it is to sit there with your ex and feel like I'm just some joke and you guys are laughing about me behind my back? Why didn't you just fucking tell me?"

"Because I knew you would react like this!" Kurt yelled.

"You're not reasonable when it comes to Allison, Blaine! It's all I hate her this I hate her that! Just because she's back in town and we're working on a project together doesn't mean I want to burry my fucking face between her legs! I mean have you even thought about what this could mean for PR? She has connections in the music world that I don't. This could be huge for me Blaine. I could come out of this on top."

"Then tell me that you selfish prick!" I slammed my hand on the steering wheel of the car and yelped as the car swerved into the other lane and headlights came into view. There was honk followed by another and I just barely made it back into my own lane before getting hit.

"Blaine?" Kurt said, the concern evident in his voice, "Are you okay? Are you driving?"

"I'm fine." The light on the street turned red and I sighed, dropping my head against the wheel and completely deflating.

"Why is everything she does golden? She treats you terribly, ruins a friendship you had, and quite literally tosses you aside like trash. Yet you still want to be near her... why?"

"Blaine," Kurt sighed, sounding tired of arguing as well, "It's not like that. When are you going to believe me? I'm not trying to sleep wi‐"

"For the love of god Kurt stop going to that every time! It's not about whether or not you wanna sleep with her! It's about the fact that she is manipulating everyone and she is ruining my high school career and when I asked you to stay away from her you lied to my face and told me you would. Thats what it's about. It's about you lying."

"I don't see how I lied Blaine. I just didn't tell you everything."

"Which is so much better right?" I scoffed. There was a honk behind me and I flinched before sitting up, wiping my eyes, and taking my foot off the brake.

"Blaine if you're driving you need to hang up the phone. We'll talk about this later tonight okay?"

"Don't bother Kurt. Allison wants to see you to work on a track anyway."

"So you're gonna cancel our date just because somebody asked?"

"No, Kurt, I'm gonna cancel our date because if I see your face I may kiss you or I may punch you and, since I'm not confident it will be the latter, I don't want to see your fucking face!"

Kurt tried to say something but I hung up the phone before he got the chance. I didn't like arguing with Kurt and, usually, if we did ever argue we made up within the hour. But this was different. I really did feel hurt.

I managed to make it home without getting into an accident and avoiding the rainfall of tears but that didn't mean I was okay. I'd gotten colder, my head was throbbing, and I felt like I was going to throw up. Maybe I was stressing about this too much. Maybe I needed to take some of Kurt's advice and calm down. But if I did it definitely wouldn't be tonight. Tonight I would ignore all calls and lay in the bed with a tub of ice cream and hate him while wishing he was here to cuddle with me at the same time.

It was how teenage relationships worked, don't judge me.

I put my car in park behind Rachel's and walked up to the front door. The butler must have seen me coming because he opened it before I had the chance and nodded a hello at me.

"Good evening sir, may I recommend straightening your outfit a bit? We have a guest tonight."

"A guest? Who?"

"Blaine!" I looked up and my mother smiled at me from where she stood at the edge of the foyer. She looked lovely in a plum dress that hugged her curves perfectly and gave away just enough to make her enticing but not so much that she didn't look her age. Her hair was done and looked healthy and she wore a layer of make‐up done just as elegantly as her smile. I hadn't seen her look this alive since...well since my father.

"Hey mom, why are you all dressed up?"

"Well I‐"

"Pamela? Is that your son?" A man came around the corner next and I frowned. He was tall, like really tall, and wore a business suit and a large, professional smile. I didn't fancy his choice of wearing a black suit with brown leather shoes but, more importantly, I didn't fancy the arm he had around my mother's waist.

"Blaine, this is Mason, we used to work together and, since I left the department and we're no longer co‐workers, he's been pretty clear on just exactly how much he feels for me."

My mother giggled. Like, actually giggled. Mason smiled and kissed her cheek and I didn't think it was possible for my frown to get any deeper.

"Your mother and I have been dating for a while now but she didn't know when the right time to introduce us was. It's nice to finally meet you Blaine."

Mason held out a hand for me to shake and I made absolutely no effort to shake it back. Instead, I stared at him blankly for a while before turning and looking at my mom. I don't know what provoked me to say it, maybe it was everything piling up on top of me and I was just stressed.

Maybe I was tired of secrets.

But, I looked at the woman who raised me with a blank stare and then spoke loudly and clearly. "I'm gay."


	31. Chapter 30

**Blaine's POV**

So coming out to my mother and basically everyone in the house because these damn walls are thin, probably wasn't my best idea, but, I'm convinced what I did next was my worst.

"I'm gay."

Needless to say, my mother looked pretty surprised and the room was so quiet you could hear a pen drop. Both my grandparents and Rachel had stepped into the large foyer at this point and the man my mother was with was more focused on the floor than he was on me. Even the butler and the cook had peeked out from around the hall walls to watch how this would go down.

"What?"

When my mother spoke I hardly heard her. In fact, I think the only real reason I knew what she said was because I could read her lips.

"I said I'm gay." I didn't speak with nearly as much confidence as I had before now that I was able to think things through, but I couldn't back down either. Whether I planned for my coming out to go down like this or not it looked like it was happening.

My grandmother glared at me and I swallowed knowing this household was going to be even harder to live in now, but I didn't let it get me down. My mother's opinion was the only one that mattered and she wasn't cursing me to hell so that was a good sign, right?

"How long have you been gay?" she whispered.

"Um...birth? I don't really know. I just kinda am..."

She licked her lips, her eyes anywhere but my own, and nodded.

"D Did um...did your father know?"

At the mention of his name I found the eyes of the man standing next to her and glared. He didn't look surprised to hear about my dad which meant he knew what had happened most likely and, yet and still, he was trying to get with my mother. It hadn't even been a fucking year.

"Blaine?"

"No. No dad didn't know."

My mother nodded and I watched the gears shift in her head. The entire house was silent for a long moment and the longer it lasted the more antsy I became. I looked to Rachel for help and both she and Cooper gave me wide smile- though Coops' didn't really count.

Finally my mother looked up at me and she smiled softly, pulling me into a hug. "Well, I still expect grand babies."

And so I was officially out. The fact that I was accepted by my family well, most of them. My grandmother was still a bitch more comforting than I ever would have imagined it being and I wished I would have had the guts to come out sooner. I wish I had the guts to tell my father while he was still alive. I knew he would accept me, he was the type of person who opened everyone with open arms. But, I hadn't and that was something I was just going to have to deal with. I would not however deal with Mason.

Mason had to go. The rest of that night went by smoothly with a big family dinner including my mother's boyfriend Mason. He seemed like a decent guy which was too bad considering I was ready to stab him with my fork. I couldn't help it, I was annoyed and maybe that's why I proceeded to make my worst mistake. Apparently, for this labor day weekend, he and my mother wanted to go camping, only they wanted to bring us all too. I guess he wanted to get to know us, seeing as we were the children of the woman he was 'catching such strong feelings for.'

Gag.

I didn't like the idea one bit and I was trying desperately to think of a way to either call it off completely, or at least ruin it. And so I said the only way I would go would be if my boyfriend Kurt could. If not my mother I at least expected Mason to say no but the bastard seemed excited about the whole thing. And so when I told Kurt, who I was still mad at, I hoped he would say no or at least catch on that I was still avoiding him but nope. That bastard was excited too. And so, here I was, crowded into the back of a van with my boyfriend who I still was mad at, a homophobic grandmother who kept sending us dirty looks, an annoying three year old brother who worshiped the ground Kurt walked on and called him Kurtie, and a guy who looked like he genuinely made my mom happy but was not my father. Despite everything else I think thats what pissed me off the most. My father died only eight months ago and already my was moving on. I didn't know who I disliked more. My mother, or Mason. The drive was only about an hour but it seemed longer considering I spoke to no one and treated Kurt, who fucking everyone loved to death, especially cold. When we finally stopped we were at some campground I didn't even take the time to really admire before going to get my bags out the trunk.

"You do realize you are the one who invited me on this trip? Are you really going to keep giving me the silent treatment?" Kurt stood behind me, his large arm reaching over my own to grab for his bag and my little brother's. If we were being honest I wasn't really mad at him still, I'd gotten over that last night, I was just aggravated in general now and I didn't know how to properly express that. And so, unfortunately, Kurt was being forced to take the blunt of my distaste for the world.

"I'm not giving you the silent treatment."

"Fine. We'll call it the 'this could be a really good opportunity to spend time with my boyfriend but I'm gonna act like a bitch' treatment." Kurt dropped his bags and took a step forward, cupping my cheeks in his hand and kissing my forehead. _God I loved that he was taller than me~_

"Look, I'm sorry about Allison. You were right, I did lie to you and for that I'm sorry. But please, don't shut me out. I know you Blaine, I know what this must be like."

The way Kurt held me in his arms was enough alone to make me want to deflate. No matter how mad at him I was he was right, he did know me better than anyone and I was shutting him out. I just didn't know what to do with myself though. After everything I needed something to stay constant. I need one relationship in my life not to be up and down and full of secrets and I was afraid I couldn't have that. But more importantly, I was simply afraid of committing. I thought my father and mother were in love but not only had he died, but she moved on so quick.

What if Kurt and I didn't work out?

What if I was still in love with him but he just...moved on?

Was any of it even real?

"Kurt, Blaine, why don't you boys come help set up the tents?" My mother asked as she came over and saw us embracing.

Kurt gave her a polite smile and moved to grab my hand but I shook it off. Mason was over by the first tent helping Rachel set it up and I moved to the empty space next to him to set up my own. Kurt came to help, his agitation obvious.

"So, Blaine? Rachel and I were talking about going fishing for dinner later tonight, you feel like coming?"

"Can't we just grill the hotdogs we bought at the store?"

"Come on Blaine, remember last time dad said he was gonna take us fishing but we ended up having to cancel because of the weather? We can finally go!"

"Mason isn't dad," I glared, "So, no. I do not want to go fishing." The rest of the day pretty much continued on like that and no matter what anyone would say or how obvious it was that I was annoying people I didn't care. Nobody cared about me or what I thought so why the hell should I care?

The rest of the day consisted of me avoiding Kurt, hating Mason for no reason besides him being himself, pretending to have fun for my mom's sake, and being jealous of Cooper who was stuck to Kurt like glue. Needless to say, my day was ass.

"Blaine!" I looked up and couldn't help but frown softly as my mother called me over. It was pretty obvious who the negative energy on this trip was coming from and so I was preparing myself to be yelled at or told to get it together but, instead, she just smiled softly and kissed my cheek. "What was that for?"

"Nothing," she said, "Just a reminder." I gave her a look that was a crossover between being confused and being upset and she just laughed at me like it was nothing before explaining herself. "It's a reminder that I love you." the words hit me like a brick to a car window. It had been a while since I seen her likes this. On top of missing my father, loosing her job, and living in a house with her parents, my mother and I hadn't had much time to actually talk and so saying things like 'I love you' had been forgotten in the past somewhere. And so, hearing it now sort of warmed my heart.

But it also broke it.

"Too bad you can't remind da- "

"Blaine don't act like I don't love your father," my mom said, her voice stern as she cut me off.

"Your father was the first love of my life and always will be. This isn't me forgetting me it's me moving on. And you need to do the same. Now, get your attitude together and go speak to Mas "

"I don't need to speak to Mason mom. He isn't trying to sleep with me remember?"

"BLAINE DON'T YOUDA "

"Mom! Mom!"

Even though my mom was just seconds away from blowing up on me we both stopped and looked up when Rachel came running from the woods. As the day ended it was beginning to get a tad bit darker and so Rachel, Kurt, and Cooper had all gone deeper into the woods to search for fireflies. Only now Rachel looked frantic, running back and towards my mother and I without either Cooper or Kurt at her side.

"M om, we can't find him. We can't find Cooper. He was with us catching the fireflies but then he was just...I I don't know. Kurt's looking for him now but we can't find him mom. I lost Coop." Rachel was frantic as she spoke, tears already building in her eyes, and my mom paled significantly, trying to tell my sister it was fine and that they would find him.

I was running.

I couldn't loose yet another person in my life.

 **A/N: T** **hanks for keeping up with my story. xoxo**


	32. Chapter 31

**Kurt's POV**

When I came on this trip with Blaine I knew it was going to be bad. He'd practically told me over the phone that the only reason he was even inviting me was to annoy his mom's new boyfriend. A boyfriend who didn't actually seem that bad really. So, I expected some tension and maybe Blaine still being a little mad at me over the whole Allison thing, but what I didn't expect was to meet his little brother and fall in love. _I swear in a non creepy pedophilic way_. I'd always liked and got along with kids but it was only natural that eventually they would annoy me as well. They were just too damn hyper. But Cooper was great. He was absolutely adorable, talked about Blaine like he was God and could do no wrong, and he wasn't bouncing off the walls with three year old excitement. He was the type of kid who could easily be satisfied playing "I Spy" in the backseat of a van during a road trip. He was great and considering he hadn't left my side since I got in the car, I was surprised he was missing now.

"Cooper!" I yelled, pushing through a bush of leaves and screaming his name for a second time. It was dark enough now that I was forced to use the flashlight on my phone and it was also getting colder. I was far enough away now that I could no longer see the fire from the campsite and the fact that I couldn't find her, the fact that he was this far out, worried me like crazy.

"Coop‐"

"Kurt!"

I looked up and turned around just in time for Blaine to come crashing into me, his little hands fisting in my shirt as he pulled me close. I could just barely see him with the light from the moon and the boys eyes were wide and filled with worry, his bottom lip trembling as his mouth formed a thing line and it didn't take a rocket scientist to know he was just barely holding on from freaking out. When his round eyes landed on me I saw them question in them and swallowed. I wanted to be able to put him at ease and tell him that I'd found Cooper and that everything was fine but I couldn't. It just didn't work out like that.

"We'll find him Blaine," I assured, my fingers gripping the back of his neck as if holding onto him would somehow enforce what I was saying, would make it true. "He's fine."

Blaine nodded and swallowed what I was sure was the lump in his throat.

"W‐We'll find him... W‐We'll find him."

We ended up splitting up; Blaine's mother and Mason going one way, his grandparents the other, and Blaine, Rachel, and I all going the opposite direction. Our shoes crunched against the leaves of the ground and though my focus was on Cooper and finding him, I couldn't help but feel a little bit selfish. The entire time we were walking Blaine was squeezing my hand so tight I was worried he was cutting off the blood flow. But after days of him not speaking to me or giving me the cold shoulder, I couldn't help but be happy. The circumstances were unfortunate and maybe I was a selfish bastard for thinking it but I just couldn't help myself. You have no idea how good I felt to have him so close to me again. To be needed or looked to for help. I just...I liked it when he could rely on me.

"Guys I can't...he's not anywhere," Rachel said and from the whimper in her voice I knew she was fighting off tears.

"We'll find him," Blaine repeated, the words being his own mantra of comfort. It was that that encouraged me to focus again and in order to do that, I had to let go of his hand. He looked at me, his eyes flashing with panic, and I smiled softly and kissed his temple before telling him I wouldn't leave his side.

It turned out not to be true though.

I hadn't walked far when my foot hit a branch or a root or something and I went tumbling forward. I expected to fall and hit the ground but instead I kept falling straight down and it was then that I realized I'd walked straight into a ravine.

"Kurt!" When my body finally made contact with the ground my head hit first and I felt all my muscles as dizziness greeted me. I kept rolling though and with each roll came more and more pain considering how steep and rugged the sides of the ravine were. When I finally stopped I could hear Blaine screaming my name from a distance but there was a constant rigging in my ears drowning him out and I groaned, my entire body aching as I rolled and tried to sit up. I could taste dirt in my mouth and there was something leaking down the side of my face but I was able to roll over into a sitting position and it was then that I saw the best thing in my life.

"Cooper." I breathed.

He was sitting under a ledge formed by the earth and was covered and twigs, leaves, and damp soil from the ground. His knees and arms were scrapped and his cheeks were red and stained with tears. He looked scared out of her mind and I immediately reached forward and pulled him into my arms.

"I‐I too little," he cried. "K‐Kurtie I f‐fell and I t‐too little to get back u‐up."

"Shh, I know sweetie but it's okay. I'm big so I can help you alright? Are you hurt? Did you hit your head?"

Cooper sniffled, his little fingers reaching forward to wipe his eyes and he nodded asshe pointed to the scrapes on his knees.

"Kurtie I w‐ want my m‐mommy."

"Alright well lets see if we can get her why don't we?" Cooper nodded and wrapped his arms around my neck as I stood up and looked the way we'd both fallen. I could see Blaine and Rachel looking at me and once they saw Cooper in my arms they both screamed, Rachel disappearing to get her mother and Blaine reaching forward as if he could somehow reach us.

"Blaine be careful or you'll fall too!"

"Like I care! Is he okay? Are you okay? Lemme see him. Cooper! Cooper, babe are you okay?"

"We're fine babe. I'm gonna put him on my back and see if I can't climb up. Grab him when we're close alright?"

"A‐Alright."

I told Cooper the plan and se knotted his little fingers in my shirt and clung to the back as I tried to find a good hold in the damp ground. Everyone was back at the top of the ravine with Blaine and his sister now and they were all crying and calling out for Cooper which only made the Little boy cry for her mom and cling to me more. It was hard finding a good grip and my head was dizzy but I eventually made it up the ravine and felt Cooper being snatched from my back and a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" When I looked up I found Mason staring down at me with concern on his face and I smiled softly before nodding and standing up, the reunion of the family actually making me feel a lot better even.

"I think we should go to the hospital," Blaine's mom said. The family was happy to be reunited but they seemed to be in a frenzy now and everyone simply rushed back to the car like they were on autopilot. I didn't complain of course and followed after them, expecting to either be left behind to clean up the campsite or have the family urging me to hurry up and get in the car. What I found instead though was Blaine. His eyes were red and his cheeks puffy but he looked relaxed now that Cooper was found and he stood in the middle of the campsite as if he'd been waiting for me.

"Whats wrong? Did everyone leave?"

He nodded softly and took a step closer. With his proximity came the sudden realization that we were the only two here together now and suddenly the air became thick and my chest heavy. Blaine was finally looking at me now, the argument from before completely forgotten and for the first time in a long time, I felt vulnerable.

"You're bleeding... does your head hurt?"

"A bit. It's nothing serious."

"Oh. Okay."

He wants to argue, He really does. I can see it in his eyes. Except having watched the agony play out over the last days and juxtaposing it against his own family. He just can't. Also I don't think he had the right to argue. When I think about it he has his family and me, on same level and I already get it.

And the wounded, terrified and exhausted look he's giving me, the way his cheeks are flushing hotly while he chews on his bottom lip makes me want to just pull him into a hug.

I know that he wants to lash out but won't and now he's going to. Slamming his fist into a three without thinking. And this time it's loud and with the force of his body behind it but it doesn't break and now all i could do is grab him and pull him and kiss him as hard as I can, it's the only way i could think to distract and placate him.

"Don't leave me", Blaine sobbs betwing the kisses "Don't ever think about leaving me"

Kissing him hard and into his mouth, biting at his lip and trying to take the anger back from him, letting it burn through our clothes and into my skin and then pulling back, making to step away and smile and try to work out what to do next. But Blaine pulls me back in and kisses him more, tilting his head to get the best access and raking his hands overmy body.

Owning and marking as his tongue pushes over me and behind my teeth and he moans.

"Don't leave me please," Blaine stutters out, pulling back and still too full of potential energy.

"If I had to choose, you know I'd choose you. Please choose me."

I only could nod.

"Every one leaves, please stay with me," Blaine pushes, nipping down my throat and this is starting to feel a hell of a lot like it's leading somewhere.

I pulled back to stare at him, my hands curling around Blaine's wrists and making them still between us.

"I want to fuck you, in my family's tent house." Blaine breathes out and my eyes go wide.

"Now we are alone," Blaine continues, pulling his hands free from mine and tracing them up over my hips and chest.

He leans in and finds my mouth, bringing our hips together, catching my hands between and forcing contact, sliding up against me hotly. "I was too scared." Another kiss and the slide of his mouth to Kurt's ear. "Quickly. Now."

I found myself nodding without really thinking about it. Some small corner of my mind points out that there's psychology at play here and this might not be the best plan. A louder corner tells me "you want this".

Blaine's behind me, sliding around and pressing his cock—already hardening—into my ass, hands around my waist and tugging at my belt.

The loudest part of my mind just screams that this is perfect and warranted and exactly what the situation deserves.

What Blaine deserves.

"I want the tent to reek of sex," Blaine tells me. "I want them to know you are mine and not be able to say it." He bites into the flesh of my shoulder and I realized with a start that his pants are undone, that they've slid to mid-thigh and Blaine's hands are now pulling the buttons of his shirt undone.

"I want us to sweat," he growls into my ear.

"Whatever you need, do it now."

We paused for a moment, now I was left with my pants pooled around my ankles, shirt undone and hanging open and the outline of my dick obvious through my underwear. Crowded up against the sleep bag and covers hands holding tightly onto the corners and Blaine stradled me. Blaine's still fully and his hair already curling at his temples. His arms are sliding around my waist and pulling me back against him.

"Whatever you need," I whispered again, holding my gaze up and watching as Blaine's eyes slide from predatory and dangerous to sad and then thankful and he's mouthing 'thank you' before he slides back into the depth of his anger and yanks the collar of my shirt down to bite at the top of my shoulder blade.

Mewling, just lightly, mostly for effect, letting my body arch back into it, lets Blaine step in closer to my ass and press the coolness of the belt buckle there as he starts grinding, hands on my hips, pushing me into ground and making sure to translate the motion through us. Another mewl and one of my hands leaves the flour to wind up into Blaine's hair, pulling it lose from the gel that he overdoes, threading my fingers through and twisting so that it hurts but frees the curls and gives me something to tug at.

"Here," gasping and twisting his neck around and finding his mouth, kissing him and not knowig whether to be happy or sad when Blaine's mouth is fierce and bruising and so angry. Nipping at his lips and punishing and it's partly my fault but I'll takes it all willingly.

Blaine's drags his teeth down my neck and I just feel the trail of saliva and marks and the silhouette of Blaine's curls in the side of the tent. Bucking forward and whines when Blaine's teeth catch at the juncture between my neck and shoulder, the muscle between my lips as Blaine angles his head and lets his teeth dig in, a growl escaping.

It's sexy and hot and still panging of bitterness at the same time. At that momento I wished we'd fought earlier about everything because then Blaine would still be biting at my neck and growling but it wouldn't be real and they'd inevitably dissolve into giggles and lighter touches before it got very far. But he needs this and I want it, i'm just rolling my ass back and ignoring the painful way Blaine's belt buckle is still catching at my ass.

A hand scratches down my chest, nails leaving red marks that might or might not turn to welts by morning; it stings and I arch and Blaine's fingers catch at the hair beneath my belly button, tugging as he bites again at my neck and growls out once more, cursing and muttering and getting lost for a moment.

His hand drifting lower to where my hips are pressed to the sleep bag and he's pushing my underwear away and down, nails again at my thighs as he takes the material off. Then his hand is around my cock and is fisting it roughly, guiding me to all fours to give space, until his fist can work my cock over, giving us a more obscene visual and the space to operate. The whole tent is an ungodly version of too-cold and too-smooth under my balls though and I flinch and shiver and it takes only a word: "Cold," to get Blaine's other hand beneath them, massaging them as he keeps stroking.

Blaine is too busy working marks into my neck as he stays tense and angry behind me

"Blaine," I called between gasps, wondering faintly if Blaine plans on doing anything more than getting him off across the flour.

"Blaine," I tried again.

Dark brown eyes flash up and Blaine's chin hooks over my shoulders, eyes flickering down to his hand around my cock, then up to my chest—now marked—to my neck—marked worse—to my ears. "Too much?" he asks.

Shaked my head and smiled and gasped, turning my head and kiss lightly at Blaine's mouth, a sting in his neck telling him it probably is way too much.

"Just don't get lost in it," I warned.

Nodding, Blaine licks his way to mys ear and then down, soothing and lighter, blowing cold air and the angry purple is still rising to my skin but it doesn't matter.

The hand under my balls withdraws and the sleep bag warmed to body temperature now. It slides away to where I can't see it but my eyes have fluttered shut while my hips keep rocking forward to meet every stroke and content to knee and lean back against Blaine's shoulder and let Blaine's breath against my neck keep time.

Blaine works his belt open with one hand, the strokes around my cock losing their elegance as he splits his concentration until his belt's being pulled away, the button popped and his zipper forced down.

His pants joined mine and the creases in material that minutes ago was immaculate are going to show. Blaine's hips snap forward at just the idea and I groan louder than he expected. Picking up on the meaning, Blaine's hand uncurls from my cock and he clicks his tongue.

"Please," Blaine murmurs, his hands sliding under the waistband of his own underwear.

I swallowed because obviously this isn't just going to be Blaine giving him an impromptu hand job.

"Just do it," Blaine mumbles and his eyes are wide and his pupils blown large. His head turns and he presses a kiss to that spot behind my ear.

"I'll make it so good for you."

"Lube?" I whispers out, as though saying that word aloud is the thing that will us them caught. As silly as it is it makes my spine tingles with doing something like this in the woods, with the threat of getting caught. Blaine grins and it's wicked, but at least it's a grin.

Crowding me forward again, catching me tight between Blaine's cock pressed hard along the crack of my ass and the still-cool floor in front, Blaine pushes him forward and over with a hand between my shoulder blades.

"Stay," he tells me and my whole body freezes up to obey.

I'm not like this often but sometimes.

The heat behind him departs and I can hear Blaine moving around our bags, pants still around his ankles and he probably looks ridiculous, I smiled to imagine it but didn't look. A bah zipper creaks open and then closes and then Blaine's pressing back behind me again and pulling me up straight by the hair and a kiss to my shoulder.

Blaine slided his hand down between us, holding his hips back so he can follón my spine with his middle finger, low to the cleft of my ass and then switch to his index finger, slick with lube and sliding easily around my hole once and then pressing in.

It's an easy slide and I relaves forward further onto the floor, letting Blaine start working me open. It's just a single finger, moving slowly in and out of me, stretching and pressing the makeshift lube inside me. I'm coaxed down, legs spread wider as Blaine's feet kick gently at them, spread and bent at the waist so that when Blaine leans over me, still fucking me on one finger, he feels bigger and taller and more than usual. Covering me and kissing at my back in a chaste press of lips that turns dirty and wet as another finger slides inside.

I arched and moan into the lick at my spine and the stretch inside me, starts working myself back and down, willing my body to shift and relax. We keep moving, tiny quiet sounds escaping and Blaine's other hand shifts back, working his own cock as he waits for me to be ready. Hungry kisses, soft smiles exchanged as we roll our hips.

"Another?" Blaine has to ask.

Shaking my head, pressing back to pull Blaine's fingers as deep as he can get them. My head falls low and I stretch out my spine, trying to ignore the knots and the jut of the floor into his stomach. Another push of my ass back, forceful and more than Blaine expected because I feel Blaine's cock there, between both of has hands, up against my ass.

"Just fuck me." His head falls down to rest against my back once more.

"Blaine," whines out, ready and wanting and twisting my hips so that Blaine's fingers slide out.

Blaine lines himself up, stepping in close again and giving his dick another stroke, spreading the hot, liquid oil over himself and then kicking my feet even further apart, leaning forward and pressing me lower still. When he slides inside it's just the tip and it's tight and hot and my back is arching with it. Blaine just bites down on his tongue and keeps sliding in, inch by inch, slow as he dare, until he's sheathed.

 **Blaine's POV**

Anger boils in me and without thinking I'm pulling back and then snapping my hips forward, hearing the slap of flesh on flesh and the rattle of the tent and the gasp from Kurt before I feel the pleasure explode up my veins. I did it again and the rush of blood in my ears blocks everything else out except for the bite of Kurt's nails into my thigh. One more rattling thrust and this time my hips don't pause, I keep moving, finding a deep rhythm that aches to my very bones and won't let me last long.

Again I fall forward, pressing my still-covered chest to Kurt's still-covered back and letting the friction there drag with heat and sweat in spite of the material. My hips snapping forward, burying my cock hot and tight every time and Kurt's whining low and almost undetectable with each thurst.

Slowing, just a little, pulled my hips back and tries for shallower, less forceful movements. "You okay?" mumbled out into the nape of Kurt's neck.

Kurt's head flicks to the side and he's trying to see me, over his shoulder, but we're too tightly together and the heat's too much.

"Harder," he whispers, his ass shoved back to emphasize the point. "Fuck me harder."

Not able to resist the permission, my hands are at Kurt's hips before I know what I'm doing, my own hips stuttering back, so hard and so close, but it doesn't matter. My hips roll once, experimentally, cock sliding deep again and Kurt whimpers and mumbles out my name.

"Fuck, Kurt," is the only warning I could give and then fucks into him properly and without hesitating. Building the rhythm again, snapping my hips forward as hard as I can and then dragging them back at half speed until just the tip of mine is inside.

 _Again and again._

And Kurt's whimpers slide higher, enough to echo. And the whole tent already smells of sex. Kurt's shirt is wrinkled and ruined and stuck to his back and my hair is wet and curled with sweat.

Still with my hands on Kurt's hips, one of Kurt's on my thigh, digging in and egging him on, my hips stutter for a second and I'm close to breaking, finding my mouth on Kurt's shoulder again, bent close and over as I fuck into him obscenely and my teeth bite down and mark.

"God, you're perfect," finded myself whining, the slap of my balls where they hit up against Kurt's, loud in my ears.

"Perfect," mumbles out again. "and mine"

And then, "I love you," over and over again and I could warn, could pull out and keep this from getting really messy, but I'd rather just swear and tell Kurt the truth.

Come buried deep, pulling Kurt back onto me as he swallows and yells, yanking him up off the floor so we're a tangle of barely standing-up limbs and flesh and sweat, my arms twining and pulling Kurt flush so my mouth can find his and kiss him as dirty and wet as we ever do. Whimpering through my release as our hips rock and spills and Kurt sucks on my tongue and the electricity in my blood makes me feel like I'm on fire.

Staying tight and close until I can't and slipping out of Kurt's ass with a groan and stumbling back with a last, "Fucking love you," to sit on the edge of the sleep bag

 **Kurt's POV**

I'm still hard but don't care, shaking with the force of what just happened and as collapse again against the floor I could catch a glimpse that I'm not just a mess, I'm marked. There are bruises down my neck and the imprint of fingers at my waist. Scratches down my stomach and across his hips. The extra heat in the tent has made me sweat and flush and I swears it's only been fifteen minutes but I look like I'm been well-fucked for hours. Preens, just a little, and try not to read too much into it.

Sliding my gaze I can't see Blaine's face because he's leaning over, neck slack and slumped forward. But beyond the physical exertion and the still-rapid expansion and contraction of his back as he breathes, his shoulders look relaxed. When he does look up, he's smiling, and his eyes are bright and creased at the corners.

Expects him to say "Thank you," and I'm ready to brush it off like it was nothing even if the bruises across my pale skin say otherwise. Instead Blaine tells me, "Don't move."

Quirks an eyebrow at him in but didn't say anything. The 'thank yous' will always be implicit between them.

Blaine slides near me, a picture of debauched and wrong and ridiculous with his shirt still on and his pants still around his ankles. He kneels and then crawls towards me and I can't see him anymore but settles because I don't have to get off but I'm achingly hard and then he turns me on my side and his head is bobbing up beside my hip as he settles back on his haunches and smirks and then kisses lightly over a purple fingertip mark on my side. Soothing, soft, still-hot hands come up to my hips and Blaine pulls me up from the floor, again in all fours, giving himself space to work between my legs. Reaches forward and wraps his hand around me cock, stroking me, listening for the intake of air and the whimper to judge how close I am.

"Blaine," mumbles, settling down one more time, arching my back and letting my feet creep wider apart. It's low and warning and I know that Blaine silently thanks god that I'm is okay after evrething that happened, more than okay, hot and turned on and going to come for him.

He keeps stroking with one hand, tighter and faster, almost as fast as he'd fucked into me minutes before. His other hand smooths up the back of a thigh, a caress that turns to splayed fingers across one side of my ass and Blaine spreads me open so he can see. My hips are pushing into the fist of Blaine's hand and the rocking translates back to my ass, shifting with my hips as Blaine stares at my still-stretched, abused-red hole. The slide of lube along the cleft, down to my balls and it's all translucent and slippery.

Blaine's hand twists and he hold his breath as I whine and buck into his hand and my ass tightens and then relaxes. _I'm close._

His mouth pressing to the smooth skin of my thigh, the soft hair teasing my nose, Blaine kisses wet and hot and then slides up, nuzzling into the crease between thigh and ass and then kissing a trail of barely there presses up the perfectly round curve until he can smell the sex and the sweat stronger than ever and he lets his teeth dig into my skin for just a second, a swipe of his tongue and he listens to me call his name.

He shushes him, mumbling out "Almost," and then Blaine falls into me, turning his head and pulling my ass wide with his hand so he can lick up the crack and over my hole. Ignoring the nothing taste of the lube and focusing on the heat and the smell and the way I keens and buck, first forward into his fist and then back against his mouth and sets up a haphazard, ill-measured rocking.

I know Blaine wants me to come but doesn't, wants to lay him out over a soft bed with dark sheets and drag the act of getting me off like this out forever. But can't. He wants to work at his just-fucked ass with his tongue until he can't taste anything but me and his own come. But there's no time and Kurt's keening and babbling and warning: "So close."

So Blaine just fucks into me hard and without finesse, his tongue stroking easily inside and lapping at the wetness, sucking at the skin around my hole and licking and then fucking back into me, trying to match the stroke of his hand with the thrust of his tongue but not even nearly managing as I writhe and twist and shout out about him, his name and "Jesus fucking Christ," as my body tenses and Blaine refuses to stop tonguing my ass, tasting the remnants of his own come and moaning and my cock pulses under his hand and my come spills across the floor and Blaine's fingers.

"Jesus, fuck," is the only thing I could manage to say when realizing I can't feel my toes and everything else I can feel feels too much. I squirm away, hips twisting my ass off Blaine's tongue and Blaine's hand falling away from my cock. Turning and spend just a second arching and trying to find my breath again. Then looks down, at Blaine still below me, lips bruised red and shining and clothes and hair worse still. Watches him lick his fingers clean and then his lips and then breathe out once heavily and close his eyes on a smile.

We clean up in silence, a hand towel shared between us as touches linger and smiles slide from one mouth to the other. We kiss twice, unable to help ourselves, not sure what can say that won't break the moment but sure that the press of lips can't. We end up looking more presentable than expected, our clothes wrinkled but the material hiding the most of it. Blaine's hair is irretrievably ruined but I like it better with curls anyway. Our lips are obviously kissed-red and raw but it's nothing compared to the evidence I'm hiding underneath my clothes.

Blaine folds the hand-towel and shoves it deep in his bag and then stares at the floor.

"What do you want to do?"

Blaine looks at me and resists the urge to crack a joke or to tell Kurt that all he wants is him because it's not really true. "Can we just go back to your house for the night?"

"We can, I'll call my dad once we're in the car."

"He won't mind?" Blaine asks, ever cautious of getting on mu dad's bad side. I smiled and bring a hand up to lay against Blaine's cheek as he leans in one last time to kiss him. Shaking his head, checks them over one last time

"He won't mind."

The silence that filled the air afterwords was just as stifling and nerve wracking but things became even more intense when Blaine a hesitant step towards me and took my hand. No words were spoken but at the same time a million were. I realized why he was mad earlier, why his family meant so much to him, and of course I realized I meant just as much. He was insecure and worried and dating him would be no walk in the park but he wasn't crazy and his love was genuine.

 **A/N: Longest chapter I've ever wrote for this story. Hope you liked it. And remember whenever you feel angry and sad and frustrated angry sad is just the answer, you can ask Blaine ;) Love your reviews, so review so i can love you more**


	33. Chapter 32

**A/N: The "talk" is comming ... eventualy; meanwhile please review my garbage ... it helpz ;P**

 **Kurt's POV**

"He's avoiding me."

Puck stuffed his mouth with a handful of chips even though he was still currently chewing a bite of his sandwich. He didn't seem to mind as he took a sip of his drink next. For once lunch was good and Puck seemed to be taking advantage of the fact.

"Are you gonna eat your applesauce?"

"What? No, I'm not five man."

Before I could say anything else his hand came across the music table in the studio and he snatched the little tub of applesauce from my tray. "I ain't five either that don't mean you can dis my sauce man. This shit is good."

"Puck are you even listening to me?"

"I am~" Sam cheered, eating his own applesauce with a wide smile and spinning around in his chair like a little boy. We had skipped the usual lunch room to do some work in the studio but, really, I just needed some time to myself. Well, myself and Sam and Puck. My somewhat vacation with Blaine and his family had ended two days ago and ever since we've gotten back things have been... .well we weren't exactly back on good terms like I may have thought. _That was the fuck i I had in my life tho._

"So, why is he avoiding you?" Puck asked, finally tuning into the conversation.

I sighed loudly and shoved my fingers through my hair, my appetite gone. "I have no idea. I mean he hadn't really forgiven me for working on this EP with Allison-"

"You mean for lying about it," Sam interjected.

"-but I thought things were good after...you know after..."

"After you popped his cherry." Puck had a suggestive smirk on his face and I was quick to punch him the shoulder and wipe it off but he only laughed, Sam joining him as he went on a rant asking whether guys even had cherries or not. I couldn't do anything but groan and cover my face.

"Christ man we're just kidding," Puck chuckled, slapping me on my arm playfully, "Calm down. Come on, tell us whats on your mind."

"I don't even know whats on my mind. After what happened I thought we were good and then we got back and he's just… avoiding me."

"Maybe he's embarrassed about what happened. Girls do that right? Do something nasty and act all innocent and embarrassed. God that annoys me. I mean we both know you suck dick so ju-"

"Sam shut the hell up man," Puck scolded. He turned to face me and leaned back on the couch, taking a sip of his water and shrugging.

"Maybe he's still mad about the whole thing. Just try and give him space or something."

"I can't give him space though. When he has space he starts thinking things and when he starts thinking things he gets insecure about how I feel about him and when he gets insecure about how I feel about him things between us get worse and suddenly Allison is important to me in his mind and-"

"Have you ever actually taken him out on a date?" Sam blurted, cutting off my nervous ramble. The question was random at first and I almost told him to shut up again but, then I thought about it and the answer was no. I mean we'd been out together of course but never on an actual, proper date. We usually spent most of our time together in one of our rooms just hanging out and making out and more and I thought that was fine for the both of us. I was starting to think maybe I was wrong though. I was good with staying committed to a person and when I liked someone they really did have my undivided attention but, Puck said it, I was kinda ass at relationships. Sometimes I just didn't take into consideration that just because I was fine chilling the house and watching movies and eating junk food didn't mean Blaine was.

"Do you think that will help? A date?"

"A date and a formal apology would make a girl feel better."

It was kinda pissing me off that they kept comparing Blaine to a girl. Just because he was gay didn't mean he was a girl. On the other hand though they did kinda have a point and a proper date and apology seemed to be my only choice right now. I wanted things back to the way they were between us, back to just me and Blaine and not me, Blaine, and Allison.

When the lunch bell ring we all went out separate ways and while Sam and Puck headed to their own classes, I made my way down the hall towards Blaine's. My plan was to ask him out and practically force him to agree to go on the date with me but when I made it to his locker I was kind of taken off guard by what I saw. Blaine was there but he wasn't alone. Jackson stood next to him and the two of them were laughing about something like they were the best of friends. At one point Blaine even punched him on the shoulder and giggled.

Fucking.

Giggled.

Can you sense the confusion? I must have made a noise or something because Blaine looked up suddenly and as soon as he saw me his smile faded and he took a millimeter of a step back. Jackson saw me next and cleared his throat before mumbling something and heading off in the opposite direction. When he was gone and it was just Blaine and I, I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow, one that made Blaine immediately roll his eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," he said, leaning against the lockers and crossing his arms over his chest as well.

"How am I looking at you?"

"Like I've done something wrong. Jackson and I are just friends Kurt, nothing else so don't be jealous. Don't you think I do enough of that for the both of us?" he smiled shyly, stepping closer to me and sliding his hands into the pockets of my jeans. He was trying to charm his way out of this and, had I not missed his touch, I wouldn't have let him but I did miss his touch and so, when he leaned his head against my chest and pulled me closer I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his waist and hold him just as close.

"I'm not jealous Blaine I'm confused. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong but, he is the guy that broke your nose the first week of school correct? The guy who tormented you consistently? The guy you said you hated? The guy I got into a fist fight with after he gave you a fucking concussion? I mean the list can go on babe bu-"

"Kurt please I just...I don't know how to explain it. He's been nice to me lately and he says all he wants is to be my friend. He's even stopped some of the bullies."

"He was the bully Blaine!"

Blaine sighed and leaned against me, pressing his chin into my chest as he looked up at me. "Look I can't explain why this works but it works. He's my friend. Now, I know you two have some of your issues but...but I'll stop if you want me to. I won't speak to him anymore, won't even look at him."

"Now why would I do that? You deal with me and my Allison shit so...I guess I can deal with you and your Jackson shit."

"Jackson isn't trying to fuck me Kurt."

"Yeah, thats what you think," I grumbled and Blaine only laughed and leaned up to kiss my cheek, the affection welcome. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I leaned against the lockers as I held him there, the realization that, no matter how weird and upset with me he was, he still cared and we weren't completely done for.

"You know you owe me now. I had perfect attendance before you came and start being attractive and distracting me. What am I gonna tell my grandparents when they asked why I skipped class?"

I just chuckled and nuzzled my face into the side of Blaine's neck, making him breath softly and smile as I kissed the skin.

"How terrible of me. Looks like you've gotten yourself a bad boy huh?"

"Hmm, bad boy good lips," Blaine smiled.

"Well, since school is clearly not our priority right now, come back to the house with me and lets get ready." I pecked Blaine on the lips quickly before grabbing him by the hand and pulling him towards the exit. As we walked he asked about where we were going but I decided I'd leave it a surprise. I wanted this to be right and so, I was gonna make sure I did it right. Tonight was going to be the best date Blaine had ever been on in his life and tomorrow we would be back on track and everything with us would be fine. Things would be perfect again and we would both be happy.

Only I wasn't stupid. Blaine may be the type to get jealous and he may be upset with me because of Allison but he wasn't the only one with these issues. I was possessive and selfish and I'd let Blaine have his friendship with Jackson if he wanted it, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to have a little one to one with Jackson tomorrow.

It seemed like we'd get over one speed bump only to come across yet another one.

 **A/N: If you need a mental image of Jackson, try Jackson Whittemore (Colton Haynes) former Teen Wolf's character.**


	34. Chapter 33

**A/N: Let's have that expected talk. Don't forget to review and shit. Love ya'll**

 **Blaine's POV**

After skipping school with Kurt I was pretty much positive we were gonna do what we normally did: Go to his house.

Needless to say I was pleasantly surprised when he headed towards the mall instead. I would have voiced my confusion and asked where we were headed but to be honest I was still kinda getting over Kurt not freaking out over Jackson and I being friends. Before you get your panties in a bunch. There is absolutely nothing but completely platonic friendship between Jackson and I.

I know how he feels about me and I know for that exact reason I should cut this off before it gets any further and keep my distance from him but, for some reason I can't. Maybe its terrible for me to become friends with my boyfriends sworn enemy and a guy who openly has feelings for me but Jackson really is an all around good guy when he's not being an ass. It makes sense how he and Kurt used to be best friends - really they're just alike - and maybe a hopeful part of me thinks somehow I can reunite them.

I know anyone could say I'm being a hypocrite for not wanting Kurt to hang out with Allison but I've never slept with and or been in love with Jackson so I don't think I am. I'm not stupid though. I recognize that maybe this isn't the best blooming friendship which is why I was kind of expecting Kurt to freak out more than he did but he was surprisingly cool, which is kind of making me wish I haven't been avoiding him so much lately...

Okay okay okay. Thats another thing I have to clear up.

I haven't been avoiding Kurt per say I've just been... being cautious of him. After Cooper was found things got pretty intense between us and when I woke up the next morning my brain was a mush of emotions. I didn't regret what we did but, well, I didn't exactly want to do it either. I was in a mix of cloud nine and hell that night and which meant my emotions haven't got the best of me at that time.

How was I supposed to admit the only reason I really even did that was because I wasn't thinking rationally? I didn't want Kurt to think he or what we did was a mistake but I was worried if I just acted like everything was fine and perfect he would also think I wasn't still a little peeved over the Allison thing, which I was. So do you see my delima? If I acted fine he would think things were fine but I wasn't sure they were. If I still acted cold and upset he would think things were bad and I wasn't sure they were bad either. They were just…. eh. The bottom line was I was wasn't sure. He confused me. One moment he's great and I love him to death, the next I still love him to death but he's a lying pain in my ass.

It just confused me. I wanted space from him, space to think and process what I felt, but the moment I saw him in the halls I couldn't help but want to be close to him again which led to me in the car with him now. I really was in love with this boy and the deeper we got into this relationship, the more afraid I became.

I didn't want to be the typical failed relationship because we couldn't trust each other. Because he lies to me and hangs out with his ex. I wanted to give him my complete trust and love him and let things be a constant repeat of that night in the woods‐be perfect‐but I was afraid I'd end up like my mom. If something happened to him, if he left me in any way for any reason, well I wasn't sure I'd be able to move on like my mother was... I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it.

And that scared me.

"Mind telling me what you're thinking about so hard?"

I couldn't help but flinch some when I felt Kurt so close behind me. I felt a chill run down my spine but it wasn't the bad kind in any way. He dropped his hands onto my waist and I smiled softly as I leaned into him, his body heat providing comfort I didn't know I needed. We were currently in H&M and there weren't many people around since everyone was in school still and Kurt seemed to be taking advantage of our somewhat privacy.

"I was just wondering what we were doing here. You mind telling me that?"

Kurt chuckled and kissed the crevice between my neck and shoulder gently. "It's a surprise. Now stop thinking so hard and pick an outfit."

"And if I don't want to? We both know I don't like being bossed around Kurt."

"Fine. Go in your birthday suit. It's not like I haven't seen that outfit already..."

My cheeks flushed and I spun around to punch him in the chest but he was already backing away from me and moving to another rack of clothes, his smile wide and mischievous. God what an ass! I tried to keep the glare on my face set and hard but I knew the blush was making me look more like an embarrassed yorkie than the vicious pittbull I was going for. God Kurt was such an ass sometimes.

But he was mine.

After shopping around for a bit Kurt and I each had an outfit that he more than happily payed for. I was dressed in dark jeans and a deep red sweater with a pair of brown leather Clarks. The outfit was casual enough but I had to admit I looked nice. The red really contrasted with the dark hair and olive tone of my skin. Kurt was dressed in my favorite color on him: army green. It just looked so good with those blue bright eyes and that blondish brown hair. He wore black jeans with the army green button down and black boots to match. It was getting closer to winter so he had a leather bomber jacket on to complete his outfit and he'd dressed me in a jean jacket a few shades lighter than my actual jeans and a scarf and hat he claimed 'made me look like the cutest thing on earth.'

Ugh.

"Kurt for the love of god can you please tell me where we're going now?" I whined as we walked to the car hand and hand. Was it weird that I was giddy? I mean I didn't like surprises in the least so I was annoyed as hell, but this was the first time we'd been so open about...well about us. More people were getting out of school now which meant more people were seeing us and the more they stared and Kurt remained completely unfazed and focused only on me...

Well to say I felt spoiled would be an understatement. What was I mad at him about again?

"Babe just calm down. I'm doing something thats long overdue alright? All you have to do is sit back and look cute."

"First of all, I'm not cute. I'm sexy as fuck and you better recognize. Second of all, stop making me sound like a trophy wife. My ass is not nearly big enough to be Kim K."

Kurt laughed loudly and I smiled with him even though a large part of me was completely serious. When we reached his car he was still chuckling as he walked me to my side of the car and ushered me into the seat.

"My mistake babe," he smiled. Christ I could listen to him call me babe all day... He leaned forward and kissed me quickly and I couldn't help the breath that slipped past my lips as our lips molded. The kiss didn't last long but it was just sweet enough and just long enough to make me want more. I really had no idea what was going on today or why he seemed to be in such a good mood, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't having an effect on me.

Finally, after another thirty minutes of just driving around and whining like a baby because Kurt still refused to tell me where we were going, he pulled up to Maggiano's and I thought my stomach was gonna jump out of me and run inside. Was he serious?

Were we really at little Italy?

Were we about to, like, walk inside and eat? Together?

Like a date?

SHIT WAS THIS A DATE?!

"Kurt?" When I looked up he was at my door again and smiled politely as he held his hand out for me. "K‐Kurt...W‐What...What are we doing here?" I couldn't do anything but stutter. I mean Kurt and I were pretty progressed in this relationship already. We'd told each other we loved each other, we spent as much time as we could together, and, just to be blunt, I'd fucked him senseless and sucked his dick dry and he'd done the same to me.

We wasn't no inexperienced newlyweds anymore.

So why in the hell the idea of going on a proper date with him made me so nervous I would never know but, it did. I was kinda freaking out and the way he was so calm about it freaked me out even more.

"Look things between us are good but they aren't as good as they could be. I've messed up Blaine. The lying about working with Allison, the keeping it a secret, that was me messing up. The not paying enough attention to you to realize you were hanging around Jackson, that was me messing up. The never actually taking you out on a proper date until now, that was me messing up. The denying you for months on end and refusing to admit my feelings for you because I was so focused on labels and being straight or gay or bi and all of that bullshit, that was me messing up. From here on out, I'm not gonna mess up anymore. Now," Kurt cleared his throat and straightened out his posture, "you'd really be doing me a favor if you stopped staring at me like that and actually got out of the car." He said it with a smile but I could tell by the way he licked his lips that he was nervous too. And I swear that made my heart melt. I realized in that moment the reason it was so hard for me to let Kurt go in the first place. The reason why even when he told me he was straight and there could be nothing between us that I held on. I loved him. Forget how attractive he was or how popular or how talented or all of the things that weren't gonna matter seventy years from now when we couldn't wipe our own asses. No matter what he did or how he pissed me off or who came between us I was in love with Kurt because he was a good person. And that was it. He was simply a good person and that was all it took for me to fall completely head over heals in love with him. I may not be sure about a lot of things and maybe the whole idea of committing scared me. Maybe not knowing what would happen in the future scared me. But if I was certain about anything it was that I could count on Kurt to always be someone I could call good. To always be someone I wouldn't be ashamed to say I loved.

"Oh you're in for it now," I smiled as I finally got out of the car.

"How so?"

"Now that I know you're capable of surprising me like this Netflix and Chill just isn't gonna cut it anymore."

Kurt chuckled and draped his arm over my shoulder as he pulled me closer and kissed my temple sweetly. "Ah, no babe, we've surpassed Netflix and Chill. We're all about Hulu and Commitment now."

I laughed.

What an ass.


	35. Chapter 34

**A/N: What do you think of the story so far? Lets add some angst and see what happen. Love ya'll**

 **Blaine's POV**

"You're a fucking cheater!"

"Language Blaine!"

"Stop cheating then!"

I reached out and smacked Kurt in the arm but it didn't seem to matter. His damn duck was still going faster tan mine and it totally wasn't fair. I didn't know how but the bastard was cheating, I mean, that was the only way to explain how he'd beaten at every arcade game we played so far!

The game ended with Kurt's duck on top of the leader board and him getting a shit load of tickets while I got a total of five. Five. What an embarrassment.

"You know a nice boyfriend would have purposely sucked and let me win," I said as Kurt gathered all of his tickets and we moved onto the next game.

"Looks like I'm not a nice boyfriend am I?" He winked at me and callmely

I flicked him off in return but I couldn't fight the smile on my lips. After eating till we couldn't anymore Kurt and I decided to just walk around a bit and see what else we could get into. If I was being honest I really didn't care what we did, this date had by far been the best night of my entire life.

"Did you have fun tonight?" Kurt asked as we walked down the Street and back towards his car. The later it became the colder we got and I happily used that as an excuse to cling to him as we moved and he didn't seem to mind in the least.

"Oh you mean besides you flirting with the waiter and carelessly whooping my ass at al the arcade games? Why yes, Kurt, I did have fun tonight," I smiled cheekily only for him to roll his eyes. He hand't really been flirting with the waiter but that didn't mean she didn't fancy him. It bothered me for a minute but when we got twenty percent off our meal and Kurt was just dumb enough not to realize why and give her a fist bump before saying 'thanks dude' and walking off, I was completely satisfied.

"Can I ask what the sudden motivation for tonight was though? I mean I'm not complaining or anything but what suddenly made you want to take me out?"

"I've always wanted to take you out Blaine it's just never been a need ."

"And now it was a need?"

"It was."

We made it back to Kurt's car and he opened my door for me but instead of getting in I simply pressed him against it before pushing our bodies together, using my own to happily keep him pinned there. There was no moon tonight but the stars were out and the streetlights from the parking light kept him illuminated just enough for me to be able to see him perfectly. His breath fanned my face gently and his skin had a tan glow to it that made him all the more attractive, made him a god in my eyes. His hands dropped to my waist instantly and he held me close as we eyed each other's lips. The space between us was little to none. I could feel his breath on my cheeks. Taste the mint from the gum he'd been chewing. Feel his heart beat against my own. And yet still I wanted more.

"Is it weird..." Kurt whispered softly. "No matter how many times I seem to kiss you, hold you, tell you I love you; I still get butterflies in my stomach when you're close like this." His hand came up to cup my cheek in his hand and I leaned into his touch like it was gold.

"I think when the butterflies stop is when we're supposed to worry. Kurt...can I um...well can I ask something corny?"

"Depends," Kurt's eyes narrowed slightly and he looked at me skeptically, "how corny?"

"Shut up," I chuckled softly, leaning forward and dropping my forehead against his. I ran my fingers across the gentle subtle of his chin and traced his features with my eyes. I would sketch him tonight the same way I did nearly every other night. I'd studied this boy to the point of no return. He was my art. My most prized masterpiece.

And I couldn't help but want to know whether I was his as well.

"Will you say it?" I whispered, my voice to shy to get any louder. I felt his arms tighten around me and his breath on my lips as I closed my eyes and waited. Things were quiet for such a long time that for a moment I was afraid he wouldn't say it, or that he at least didn't understand what it was I wanted him to say. I was just about to speak again when I felt soft lips crash against my own. The kiss took me off guard and though he may have been forceful when he first initiated it, his lips were gentle and soft as they slowly captured my own.

"I love you," he whispered, pulling away to kiss the corner of my mouth.

"Say it again."

"I love you," Kurt repeated, moving his lips to my cheek as he held me against him. "I love you. I love you. I love you. Thats the one thing that will never change Blaine. You've successfully wrapped me around your Little finger and I'd rather die then be unwound. I'm whipped. Infatuated. Head over heels. Obsessed. Devoted. Crazed. Lovesick. Whatever the hell you wanna call it I am. I love you. I'm in love with you. I love you I love you I love you."

By this point the tears were freely falling from my face and I knew I probably looked a mess. Hell my nose was running, my eyes were bloodshot, and my sniffling didn't exactly make me sound the most attractive but ask me if I cared. You see I could look in the mirror and say 'I love you Blaine. You're special Blaine' as many times as I wanted. I wasn't self conscious about myself really. If I didn't make it obvious, I wasn't some wimpy‑easy‑to‑manipulate kind of guy. But I was human. And there was just something about hearing someone else say they loved you that made a human feel good. And thats what Kurt did. After everything that I went through with my dad, with Rachel and my mother, with my grandparents, it was nice to just...to just feel good .

"I love you too Kurt. Always."

Kurt dropped me off a little later that night with a boner and some hickeys but, because I was such a gentlemen, that was all. We were good boys and...boys? Whatever. I walked into the house with the ever present smile on my face. I thought nothing could possibly ruin my mood tonight until I heard heavy thumps and footsteps and my grandparents came charging out of the foyer and straight to me. Both of them had hard looks on their plastic surgery faces and even though I didn't respect or care to listen to them or their lectures anyway, they looked so determined to ruin my life I couldn't help but get a little bit nervous and take a step back, the door to the entry way trapping me where I was.

"Blaine!" It was my mother's voice that cut through the tension in the air and I looked up towards the stairs just in time to see her coming down with Mason.

Fuck he was here again?

Did the man not have anything better to do with his time?

If my mom wanted to date him fine but they weren't teenagers, they didn't have to be in the house under her parents supervision all the time.

"Did you know?" My mother asked, coming to a stop in front of me and looking at me disapprovingly.

"What? Know what?"

"That your boyfriend has an arrest record? Two for that matter!" My grandfather yelled.

"I knew being gay was a sin but now you're dating a felon as well? You have no shame do you Blaine?" My grandmother growled.

I could see all the upset and glaring faces in front of me, I could even hear them, but I couldn't really hear them. I mean I couldn't have. No way did they just tell me Kurt has a record.

"W‑What?"

Suddenly Mason pulled a stack of papers from behind his back and handed them over to me. "Breaking and entering as well as assault. Both happened a few years back. He took a plea deal so he wouldn't face any jail time. His probation ended just a few months before we arrived in town. Blaine, your boyfriend has a bit of a tempe‑"

"You did a fucking background check on him?!" I screamed.

"Blaine watch your mouth! Are you listening to us? Kurt is ba news! It doesn't matter how we found out about it he's still bad‑"

"Of course it matters how you found out about it! You don't get to just check people like that mom! T‑Thats gotta be like an invasion of privacy or something! Besides, Dad was arrested when he was eighteen for something but you still married him!"

"And look how you turned out!" My grandmother screamed as she entered the argument. The room ran cold for a moment and I could feel my hands shaking as I quickly clenched my fist and bit my tongue to keep from saying anything. I was tired of this. Tired of it all. Mason may have been the one to run the check (how I don't know) but I knew full and well that it was my grandparents idea.

And so I was done with them.

I was tired of their tyrannical rule.

I was tired of all their bullshit opinions.

I was tired of the way my mother was such a coward when it came to them.

And I was tired of the way they constantly disrespected my father.

"Take your bullshit background check. I don't care what he did or when he did it."

"But I do Blaine. Blaine you...Blaine I know things are different without your dad around and I know I may not be your favorite person with the way I've been handling things, but I'm trying okay. I am trying to make this work. And I just need you to work with me here. I can't be worried about you when you're not with me. So...so I want you to stop seeing Kurt. I want you to sto‑"

"Absolutely not! Mom I love him!"

"Blaine you're not old enough to know what love is!"

"I know he makes me happy! I know I feel special with him! I know while everything in this house ig going to shit he's the only one I can depend on! Dad died mom! He's dead!" I screamed, not bothering to hide the tears in my eyes. I just couldn't believe this was actually happening. I refused to believe my mother could do something like this to me. "Dad is dead and I tried to be the good big brother w‑who took care of Rachel and Cooper. I did everything you asked me too. You needed me to stay in and baby sit I did it. You needed me to run errands I did it. You needed me to be good and get good grades in school I did it. I took all the stress off your back and carried it on mine just so you wouldn't have to worry, so you could have time to mourn dad and for what? I didn't get to sit in my room and be sad like you did! I didn't get to give up like you did! Dad died and I took his fucking spot! You made me take his spot and I did," I sobbed, "Ssss-so for once mom let me have my life back. Let me have something for me ."

I didn't exactly mean to break down like I did but, hey, why the hell not? Everything I said I meant and even though I could see the hurt and guilt in my mother's eyes I wasn't in the position to try and comfort her. As much as she pissed me off I loved her to death and there was nothing I wouldn't do for her but sometimes there were things I just needed for myself.

Sometimes I had to be selfish.

When no one spoke I shook my head and sighed, wiping my eyes as I tossed the papers in their face and rushed up the steps towards my room. I wished Rachel was home so I could say goodbye but it looked like I'd have to say goodbye in the morning. I just couldn't stay here anymore. So, I packed my bags, kissed Cooper on her cheek, and then walked back downstairs.

"B‑Blaine? Blaine where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here mom. You said you didn't want to worry so don't. I'll see you when I see you."

And with that, I left.


	36. Chapter 35

**Kurt's POV**

"The song is good Allison we just need it to be... well we need it better ." Allison sighed dramatically as she collapsed onto the couch behind me, kicking her feet up on the coffee table and tossing her honey colored hair over her shoulder. We'd been working together for nearly three hours and while it was more time than I usually would have spent in the studio in one sitting, it was needed. I'd agreed to help Allison on her EP but if we were being honest I hadn't really been working with her much. I was trying to make up for it now though but she didn't seem to be as serious as I was.

"No, Kurt, the song is great. You want it better because you're a perfectionist."

"I am not!"

"When it comes to music you are!" she yelled back, locking her eyes with mine and giggling softly. "Kurt I know you better than anyone. I've worked with you more than anyone. You're good okay? You're really really good at what you do. You don't have to keep trying to prove yourself."

Allison smiled at me and I clenched my jaw and looked down. I didn't want to admit that, despite our differences, it still felt good to be praised by her. In my mind Allison was one of the most talented singers I've ever met. Sure there may be some people out there who can hit a note or two better, but Allison was dynamic, skilled, and a good listener. She knew what she was doing when it came to music and I couldn't help but respect that. It was just one of the things that attracted me to her in the first place.

That and the smile she was giving me right now.

"Alright fine. We can stop for tonight."

"Thank Goood!" she whined and I rolled my eyes as I made sure to save the progress we made. I was shutting everything down and making final touched when I felt her hip brush my shoulder as she moved to lean against the desk in front of me. She had her ankles crossed and her hands pressing against the wood while her chin rested on shoulder. She was in my personal space, but I didn't bother telling her to move simply because I knew she wouldn't either way.

"So can we talk now?" she asked with a soft smile.

"We've been talking the whole time you've been here. Do you want to discuss EP names again? Because frankly I think‑"

"No Kurt I don't want to talk about EP names again I want to talk about something else. Talk to me about your life. How's school for you? Why didn't you play any sports? Hell, how are you and Blaine doing?"

That one made me scoff.

"Since when have you wanted to know about Blaine's well being?"

Allison pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulders, giving me that innocent look she always pulled back while we were dating and I'd catch her looking at other guys or lying about something. It was sickening that I knew all of her tells and still managed to fall for them half the time.

"I don't want to know about him I want to know about you and him. See the difference?"

"Well, since you're so concerned, you'd be happy to know we're doing perfectly fine. Great even."

With a smile, I stood up and walked to the other side of the room before opening the door and heading out to the kitchen in the basement where I lived. I wasn't surprised when Allison followed, her heels clicking on the tile floor as she stood on the other side of the fridge door.

"Kurt you know we're friends right?"

"Are we?"

"Why not? Blaine don't like it?"

And there it was. The jab in Blaine's direction that I'd been waiting for all night. I may be kind of dumb when it comes to Allison and I may let her slide with some things, but I'm not blind like everyone seems to think I am.

I do see her for who she is now and I know she has a problem with Blaine. I know she's jealous, and she's spiteful, and I know she hasn't been making things completely easy on him. But I thought, given time, she'd get over it and things would settle down. Now that I realize that isn't the case, I guess it's time to set things straight.

"Kurt I'm just trying to warn you that he's not as perfect as you're making him out to be. He doesn't treat you right..."

"And you did?" I laughed.

I could tell by the twitch in her lip that my words hit her deep. For just a moment I thought I saw a hint of regret even. But, that was only a moment. Before I could even blink she was back glaring and talking about Blaine.

"Did you know he talks to Jackson on the phone almost every night? Did you know they're getting closer and closer? Did you know Jackson likes him? As in likes him likes him ? Did you kno‑"

"Allison, Blaine and I are dating. I love him and he loves me. We kiss and mm- w-we … go on dates and quite honestly, I think we're cute as fuuck. Jackson and you are both irrelevant when it comes to Blaine and I's relationship. You're not involved, so stop trying to be. If you have a problem with that there is a door just ten steps behind you that you are welcome to walk out of. If not, then please take three steps back and stop trying to start petty drama between the two of us. I've never hit a girl and I doubt I ever will, but there's only so much a man can take and you, Allison, are quite a lot."

The kitchen was tense and the quiet wrapped around us like a blanket once I stopped talking. Allison was looking at me like she'd seen a ghost and for a moment I thought maybe I'd gone too far but then, with a defeated glare and a blush of embarrassment, Allison took three steps back.

I smiled.

"Now, lets get back to work."

 **Blaine's POV**

"So, are you gonna tell Kurt today?"

I shook my head.

"Are you gonna tell Puck today?"

I shook my head again.

"Are you just gonna sit there huddled up in a ball depressed the rest of your life?"

I nodded.

"Blaine come on!" Tana yelled, slapping my arm and only getting a groan of disapproval out of me. We were sitting in first block and I was in such pissy mood that even the fluorescent lighting from the ceiling was hurting my feelings. I mean, I'd practically gotten kicked out of my house! Sure I was the one who left but it's not like I was given much of a choice. I think I deserved a day to be upset but apparently Tana felt differently.

"Blaine you came over last night to stay with me and did I let you? Yes. Did I let you eat all my ice cream and binge watch The Walking Dead on Netflix? Yes. Did I let you cry yourself to sleep and drool on my pillow?"

Okay that had been embarrassing.

"Yes! What I will not let you do is continue to mop around! Tell your boyfriend his anger management issues started some deep shit and now you are homeless. Then move in with him and just be cute like every other teen couple wishes they could be!"

"But Taaaana," I whined, finally sitting my head up only to blink and grimace as the lighting hit my bloodshot eyes. "I don't want him to think I was spying on him or something! And I don't care what he did! Why do I have to confront him about it? Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because this is an A B conversation and I'm happily C‑ing my way out of it. I know what happened but it doesn't matter. You need to hear it from him."

"Was it that bad?"

"Blaine."

I sighed and dropped my head back down against the desk. The truth was I was desperate to know what had happened in Kurt's past. I wanted to know what he did to get himself a record and on top of that, why the hell didn't he ever tell me he had another brother? Was there anything else he was hiding from me? Was there a side to him I didn't know? I had a million and five questions and absolutely no idea how to ask them. The only thing I did know was that I would have to confront the issues eventually. I couldn't stay at Tana's place forever and I couldn't avoid him like I was doing now. Besides, if he found out from anyone else I knew he'd be pissed.

"Okay fine. I'll tell him. I jus‑"

"Blaine!"

Tana and I both looked up as Brittany came running into the room. When the door opened I could hear screaming from the halls and saw students running behind her towards the direction of the front gate. I didn't know what was going on but the look on Brittany's face made me tense.

"It's Kurt! He's fighting!"

"What?!" Tana and I both yelled at the same time. "W‑Who?"

Brittany swallowed and gave me a sympathetic look. "Jackson. He's fighting Jackson."

 **A/N: Sorry i'm not really sorry for the cliffhanger and for Allison and for leaving Blaine homeless, i just love angst so much, promise you won't regret. Just don't forget to review, pretty plz plz plzzzzzz. And also don't forget to check my new story. Love y'all.**


	37. Chapter 36

**A/N: Sorry, I swear Desires is NOT an abandoned fic. Regular updates are coming back. Promise. Don't forget to review guys! :)**

 **Blaine's POV**

Tana, Brittany, and I all ran down the halls towards the front gate where a crowd was already gathered. School hadn't started just yet which meant majority of the student body had been lingering around the student parking lot while most of the teachers were inside getting ready for their classes.

I hoped maybe a teacher would look out the window and tell something was happening but, as I ran up on the large crowd consisting only of screaming students, I knew my hoping was pointless. could hear skin hitting skin and grunting. The fight, though I wasn't tall enough to see it just yet, was on.

"Blaine!" I looked up and found Puck's eyes. He reached out to me and I grabbed his hand, letting him pull me through the crowd and into the side. He was standing in the inner ring of the circle that had formed and once I was next to him I could see clearly what was happening. Sam had tried to stop the fight and been punched in the nose instead, Jackson's friends were debating whether they should interrupt or not, and both Jackson and Kurt were wrestling on the ground as the two fought for the upper hand.

For a moment I wanted to scream at Puck for not breaking it up but as calmly they fought I could see clearly why he hadn't.

There was no way anyone could get between them and not get served a good beating themselves.

"Kurt! Kurt stop!" I could do nothing but watch as Jackson elbowed Kurt hard in the face, Kurt's lip busting and spilling blood. The fight took a turn and Jackson landed on top of Kurt, delivering punch after punch. I was worried for a moment before Kurt got an opening and punched Jackson hard in the stomach, making him fall back. Kurt was on top of him in seconds and I whimpered, rushing forward. I didn't get the chance to get to him though because Puck grabbed me.

"He could hit you."

"I don't care!"

"He would."

Whimpering again, I glared at Puck and tried to rip myself from his grip but only failed in the end. I was at my breaking point and ready to throw my shoe to get Kurt to stop when the circle parted suddenly and a man I didn't know broke into the center. Without speaking he dove into the fight and grabbed Kurt by his collar before tugging him back. Kurt kicked and screamed but the guy was strong and kept him back and away from Jackson, who was bleeding badly.

"Get the fuck off me!"

"Kurt!" I swallowed. I didn't know the guy, but there was something about his voice that screamed in charge. He was tall, almost taller than Puck, and broad in his shoulders and chest. His muscles were clearly defined by his shirt and his skin was tanned by the sun and decorated with a few scars here and there.

Kurt calmed down finally and just in time too. The teachers were coming out now and everyone quickly rushed away from the fight. The guy looked around before catching eyes with Puck, who tightened his grip on my arm. They seemed to have some secret conversation and while the man grabbed Kurt and quickly rushed away in one direction, Puck grabbed me and pulled me towards the parking lot.

"W-Wait! Kurt! Puck wait! Puck!"

I could do nothing as Puck shoved me into the passenger seat of Kurt's jeep before getting in the drivers seat himself. He started the car with a key I didn't realize he had and soon we were speeding away form the parking lot and down the street.

"What the hell just happened?! Why was Kurt fighting? Who was that that took him?"

"Jackson and Kurt were fighting because they don't get along."

"Obviously! But what actually happened?!"

"He's your fucking friend Blaine, you tell me!" Puck screamed. It was the first time Puck had ever yelled at me, the first time Puck ever got loud at all really, and there was something about the cold stare he gave me that immediately made me feel guilty.

"Look," Puck sighed, already seeming apologetic, "We were talking and Jackson just came over and wham, he punched Kurt in the face. Nobody knows why and no one exactly stopped to talk it out first."

"A-And the g-guy? Who was that?"

"You can meet him yourself."

I didn't realize how close we were until Puck pulled into the driveway of Kurt's house. I could see Kurt sitting on the front porch with that guy from where I was sitting and, even though I could feel the tension from where I was, I didn't hesitate to jump out.

"Kurt!"

He looked up when he heard me call out to him and I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the way his mood seemed to relax some when he saw me. I jogged across the yard and Kurt stood up just as I came to a stop in front of him.

He looked good for someone who'd just gotten out of a fight. Besides the evident bruising on his jaw bone and a scratch on his eyebrow he was still my same ole Kurt.

"Kurt what the hell? You scared me to death! Are you okay?" I asked, pulling him into a hug.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"What happened? Puck told me he hit you first..."

Kurt sighed, his jaw tensing as he thought about it again, and nodded. "He did and he's lucky the fight ended when it did. I don't want you hanging out with that prick anymore Blaine. I really would appreciate it if you didn't talk to him again. Like, ever. I'm so fucking serious."

I pursed my lips and sighed, running my fingers through my hair and pouting. I didn't like the way he was telling me not to talk to Jackson. Despite our differences Jackson was still technically my friend. He'd been around a lot lately and hell, I liked talking to him, but, if it came down to it, of course I would choose Kurt over him. It just sucked being told what to do.

"You know I don't like being told what to do..." I mumbled.

Kurt arched an eyebrow and I sighed as I stepped closer and dropped my head against his chest. "Okay okay. You have my word, I won't speak to Jackson again. Now can you tell me why he punched you? You must know right?"

Kurt nodded but, before he could actually speak, the guy I didn't know stepped forward and cleared his throat as he held out a hand.

"Before we get into that, I think it's bout time I introduced myself. I'm Cody."

"Cody?"

Kurt swallowed hard before stepping back and standing next to the man. "Blaine, this is my older step brother. I would have introduced you two before but... well, I thought the bastard was dead."

 **A/N: Whos Cody?!**


	38. Chapter 37

**A/N: Is it too late too say sorry?**

 **Kurt's POV**

"You told Allison you were going to hit her?!" Blaine screamed, making me wince.

I doubted I had a concussion but my head was absolutely throbbing. Maybe I'd hit my head too hard or maybe all the stress of today was catching up with me but either way I was tired and wanted nothing more but to curl up somewhere with Blaine and shut the rest of the world out.

"I never said I was going to hit her-"

"But you implied it!"

"Blaine, babe, please stop screaming."

With a sigh, Blaine finished bandaging the cut on my eyebrow and set all the first aid supplies back before taking a step back himself. His arms were crossed and his face set in a frown yet all I could think about was how cute he looked pouting like that. He was mad at me for fighting and I knew it, but I also knew I had no choice. I wasn't the same Kurt I used to be but that didn't mean I was just gonna stand by and let somebody hit me.

Turn the other cheek my ass.

There was a knock on the door before Cody pushed it open and looked inside. There was a frown on his face too but it wasn't nearly as cute as Blaine's.

Cody, that son of a bitch. Yeah he was my big brother and sure, maybe deep down inside I missed him and was glad he was back, but a bigger part of me hated him for being back. A bigger part of me would have preferred it if he would have just stayed gone. He was just gonna leave us again anyway.

"You two gonna hide in here all night or you plan to come out and tell the rest of us what happened?" Cody asked. He wasn't oblivious to my glare but, while Blaine was fidgeting and nervous because of the tension, Cody didn't care.

"Fine," he sighed, "at least come out and tell Puck and Tana. You still like them right?"

Still glaring, i stood up and walked out into the living room where Puck was waiting on the couch and Tana was pacing. She looked up when she saw me coming out and I was glad Blaine was holding my hand, otherwise I was positive Tana would have tried to whoop my ass. She looked just like an angry mother.

"You!" she screamed, "you promised no more fighting!"

"Tana, he hit me first."

"And what did you do to cause that?"

"He threatened to hit Allison," Blaine said, glaring right back at me when I glared at him.

"So we're hitting girls now, baby bro?" Cody mumbled and it took everything in me not to punch him in his face.

"You shut the hell up," I spat. I sat down on the couch next to Puck and Blaine handed me an ice pack for me to rest against my head. "Look, I never would have hit her. She was getting on my nerves though and clearly just telling her to shut up wasn't working so...I tried to be intimidating. And it worked. I didn't expect her to go run and tell her stupid ass body guard Jackson though."

"Well duh! You know she still has him wrapped around her pinky finger! The bitch probably lied even and told Jackson that you really did hit her! Look her and Jackson are in cahoots," Tana sighed and I frowned.

"Ca- what?"

"Cahoots. You know, partners in crime. Teammates. On the same page. Evil masterminds."

"What are they in cahoots about?" Blaine asked, his fingers mindlessly playing with my hair and making me feel better. I could see Cody looking at us weirdly and I knew he was probably confused considering the last he heard I was not only with Allison, but completely straight.

"Well breaking you two up obviously. I heard them talking after the fight before I came over here and she's trying to get Jackson to do all her dirty work. She came back and basically told Jackson she loved him still. And because she must have some magic pussy or something considering you two idiots are so hung up on her, he obviously was quick to do whatever she wanted. She told him to get close to Blaine and make him fall in love while she got close to Kurt and made you think Blaine was cheating. It fucked up though when Jackson started to

actually fall for Blaine and Blaine stayed loyal to Kurt."

"That sneaky bitch. So what, now she's just trying to cause chaos because Jackson isn't doing a good enough job?"

"Thats what it sounds like," Puck grumbled and I groaned. I really was reaching my limit with Allison. She was the first person I ever fell in love with and so yeah, maybe I still cared some, but there really was only so much a guy could take. She couldn't expect to treat me the way she did and then come back and still expect things to go her way. Maybe, just maybe if I didn't have Blaine things would be easier for her but thankfully I did. And, unlike her, I trusted him with my heart.

I looked over at my boyfriend only to frown when I saw the concentrated and almost sad look on his face. "Don't you fücking dare," I groaned, knowing almost immediately what he was thinking. Blaine looked at me and I shook my head, holding up a finger to shut him up before he could speak. "Blaine you promised! You promised you'd stay away from him!"

"And I'm going too! That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel bad though,"

He protested.

"Um, what exactly is going on?" Cody asked.

"Blaine feels bad for Jackson, you know, the guy who used to bully him everyday and now suddenly loves him. I'm not the only one who remembers that right?"

"Thats low Kurt," Puck mumbled only for me, I rolled my eyes in return.

Maybe it was low, obviously Blaine remembered being bullied by Jackson, he's the one who had the bruises to prove it, but none of this was making sense to me.

Jackson was a stuck up piece of shit who didn't deserve any of my baby's time. Not only did he used to bully him, but Tana just told us he was part of some plan to break us up. So what he caught feelings along the way. Why would you still feel something for someone who's literally done nothing but try to ruin you?

"You're an ass Kurt," Blaine mumbled, pushing himself off the couch and walking towards the stairs. He was about to go up when he stopped and faced me with an expression of both anger and hurt. He didn't even have to say what he did next, all it took was that look and i felt guilty. "Whether he has feelings for me or not isn't the point. Allison is stringing him along and using him to get what she wants. No matter who it is, thats cruel Kurt. I thought you of all people

would understand that."

With one last look he was gone. Sighing, I fell back into the couch and groaned. It was annoying how humans felt things. How Blaine felt bad for Jackson.

How I felt pissed at Jackson but could see his point. I was such a jumble of anger, guilt, sadness, and regret and for just five seconds I really wished I could turn everything off. I really wished my life could just… could just be calm.

"Listen, we're gonna go and give you guys some space but Blaine has a point Kurt. I'm not saying forgive or be friends with Jackson but we all know how manipulative Allison is. Lets remember who the real enemy is," Puck said, squeezing my shoulder in support.

"And please talk to Blaine," Tana added. "I promised I wouldn't tell but he could really use you right about now."

Tana and Puck left next and for the first time all day things were quiet again.

Well, for a moment at least.

"Well, I feel like I really did miss out on a lot."

I opened my eyes to the depressing reminder that my brother was still there.

Cody. The guy who used to be my best friend. The guy who I looked up to. The guy who ran away and left me. The guy who killed my mother.

 **A/N: Sorry guys I got carried away by my other story that I almost forgot this one. Here you go some answers and some new questions. The big one stills** **\- Who's cody?**


	39. Chapter 38

**A/N: Warnings: Really OOC Burt and Elizabeth, if you idolize them you don't wanna read it. This chapter is not vital for the plot just give us more about Kurt and Cody. Mentions of Drug Use, Character Dead and Home Abuse.**

 **Blaine's POV**

I should have left. I should have walked out and went home as soon as Kurt started being a jerk but as I was walking down the street it didn't take me long to remember I didn't really have anywhere to do to. Wasn't that just great. And you know what was even better?! It's not like anyone had been calling to drag me back home. I mean obviously Rachel was freaking out and blowing up my phone and she'd probably be freaking out even more now that I wasn't in school but as far as my mom and grandparents went?

Nope. Not a peep. I mine as well have died with my dad...

Anyway, back to the point I was making. I was royally pissed at Kurt for being so incentive and own right bossy but I was tired and didn't feel like walking so I ended up back at his house on the living room couch. I'd helped myself to a bowl of cocoa pebbles and was watching Spongebob when Kurt came upstairs with his brother in tow. He looked at me, surprised to see me still here, and I glared before looking away.

He was such a jerk. A sexy one all roughed up like that after a fight, but a jerk none the less. I'm sure he probably was missing my point with the whole Jackson thing but he was missing mine too. I wasn't trying to sleep with Jackson or even argue still being his friend, I just didn't want to sit by and watch someone get used. Why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't he just trust that I was in his corner for the long run?

"Blaine."

Silent treatment activated.

"Looks like someone has some apologizing to do..."

Who said that? Was it Cody? The super sexy big brother Kurt never told me about?

SUPER silent treatment activated.

With a sighed, Kurt sat down on the couch next to me. I scooted to the other end and he just scooted closer. When I ignored him and focused on the TV he turned it off. When I tried to eat my cereal he leaned it and stole the bite I was about to take.

That one broke me.

"You're so fucking childish!" I yelled, swatting him on the arm. Kurt only chuckled and I tried not to let those damn dimples affect me.

"Says the boy giving me the silent treatment," he grinned. I rolled my eyes and Kurt took my bowl and sat it down on the coffee table before grabbing me by my waist and dragging me into his lap. I tried to wiggle out and he just tightened his grip until we were both splayed out on the floor and I couldn't help but laugh as he clung to me.

"Let go of me," I begged, forgetting for a minute why I had been angry in the first place. Kurt crawled forward instead and before I could say anything else his lips were on mine and all my anger flew right out of me. God I hated how much control he had over me. Well, not really...

"I'm sorry. I was a jerk to you downstairs. I'm mad at Jackson and Allison and Cody and the world but that didn't give me the right to take it out on you."

Smiling softly, I looked up at Kurt from my position beneath his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck loosely, leaning forward and pecking his lips sweetly.

"I get that you're made babe and you've got every right to be, I just want you to trust me. Yeah, I feel bad for Jackson and want to tell him whats going on, but I love you. Even if I'm difficult about it I'm never gonna do anything that would hurt you. You're my number one alright?"

"And you're mine." smiling softly, we kissed again and I couldn't help but moan when I felt his hands traveling a little lower than expected. His tongue slipped between my lips and I let it without protest. Before I knew it I was making out with Kurt and would have kept going had we we not been stopped by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

I gasped and pulled my lips away from Kurt's. Cody stood above us with a forced smile on his face and a beer in his hand. His free hand was held out in my direction and, with a slight blush, I took it and he helped me to my feet.

"Since it doesn't look like Kurt is going to introduce us, I'll do it myself. Hi, my names Cody."

"Right, the mystery brother."

"And I take it you're the mystery boyfriend."

"Guilty."

Cody smiled and unlike the first one that was forced when he intterupted us, this one was genuine and incredibly contagious. For him and Kurt to be related the only thing they really had in common was their perfect honey brown hair.

While Kurt's was short and perfectly stylish, Cody's was long. While Kurt had dimples and a cute pudge nose, all of Cody's face was narrowed and structured- like someone had sculpted him. Kurt was attractive with a kind of alternative badboy type of thing going for him. Cody was...older, he seemed more mature, and the badboy swag he had was more rugged.

Like a marine or something.

"Well listen, I've got some things to go check up on around town so um...yeah. Blaine, it was nice meeting you. Kurt ...well we'll talk later."

"So, when we're you going to tell me you had brother?" I asked after Cody left. I wasn't upset anymore, just curious. But it looked like talking about Cody was the last thing Kurt wanted to talk about.

"Look I'll save you the sob story and just get to the point because I really don't have the energy to feel sorry for myself today. You know how you like talking about your dad? You know, how he died..."

"Yeah..."

"And you know how you've never met my mother..."

"Oh Kurt, is your mom dead?" I whispered hoping it wasn't true. If his mom was then I was possibly the worst human being ever. I spent days fussing about my dad and even now I'll still find myself talking about him to Kurt. I'd been so caught up in myself that I never even asked about his mother or why she was never around.

Kurt shrugged like it was no big deal and sat down onto the couch. I crawled on top of him, straddling his waist, and frowned softly, reaching up and playing with the hair on the base of his neck like I know he liked.

"I'm so sorry. I must suck as a boyfriend?"

"Blaine you don't suck as a boyfriend," he chuckled, leaning into my touch.

"My mom died a couple years back and I'm over it now I am, it's just...well our

memories of our parents are a little different. Your dad was nice, seemed like a good guy, mine was an abusive bitch strung out on drugs. She used to toss me around a lot but not as much as my dad did to her and Cody. Dad got the bunt of it while me and my brother were out of the house and at school. When we'd come home she'd be ready for me but Cody was always a step ahead of him. Cody was different. If you ask anyone else they'll tell you he was a badass kid and teenager and I mean he was but I didn't realize until I was about fourteen that he was really just trying to protect me. The more trouble he got in, the less dad paid attention to us the more mom got into drugs."

Kurt paused for a moment and I watched as his adam's apple moved as he swallowed. He licked his lips and took a breath and I clenched my jaw. He looked vulnerable.

"I, um, I was too scared to try and help. If I did something bad at school Cod would do something worse. If I got in trouble for breaking a vase Cod would break the entire TV. He was a crazy bastard but he was doing it for my sake. And I let him. My dad is a big dude Blaine. Cody was the only one who wasn't afraid to fight back, But mom - ."

"So what ended up happening to her?" I whispered, honestly afraid of the answer.

"On my sixteenth birthday my dad bought me that jeep parked outside. My mom claimed that he wasn't putting in any money to help and it's not like I had a job yet so I know how hard my he worked for that thing and how she wanted the money for drugs. It's all I wanted. All I asked for. And it was something I thought I was never gonna get. So, when he got it for me I was beyond happy. Cod and I rode around in that thing everywhere. I would have driven it to the mailbox if he'd let me," he said, chuckling again. His smile was only there for a moment though before it faded. "Two weeks later my dad was gambling and he lost. He didn't have the money to pay up so, he gave away my jeep. Cod told me to let it go, said he'd get me another one himself, but I was a stubborn kid and more importantly I was mad. He had no right to give away what was mine to settle off his debts. No right. So, I found out who had my car, broke into his house, tried to get my keys back and...well things went wrong. Long story short the dude woke up and there was a fight and I was loosing and then Cody, who must have followed me, showed up and together we kinda...wekinda put the dude in the hospital. His girlfriend called the police, we were arrested. Colt was older then me so he was tried as an adult and went to jail for a few months. I got juvy and a couple months probation.

My mom was worse then than he ever had been before. The guy we beat gave my jeep back but blacklisted my parents, told all the dealers nearby that our family was crazy and not to mess with us. Cod was gone then so no one was there to taking beatings for me like usual. I can't tell you how many bones I had broken. When Cod got out he came home for one night and that

one night was all he needed to kill my parents."

"Wait what?! Your brother killed your mom?"

"Gave her a nasty dose of heroin. That didn't work with dad, tho. That bastard always new. If you ask the police all they'll say is my mom died of a bad trip. And to anyone else outside these walls thats exactly what happened.

"S-So thats why things are so tense between you two? Because you're mad at him for killing your mom."

"I?m gonna sound selfish but Blaine the day my mom died was the happiest day of my life. I'm mad at Cod because the next morning he packed all of his things, told us he didn't want anymore baggage to take care of, and left. I was sixteen Blaine. The man who had been my protector for years tells me I'm baggage and then leaves. Thats why I was mad. And thats why I still am."

I couldn't do anything but look at Kurt then. His face was blank but I could see a world of hurt swirling in those brown irisis I loved and there was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do about it.

"Kurt I-"

"You don't have to say anything Blaine. I'm a big boy now, I've leanred to deal with it and move on."

"I know. I know you are I just...It's okay if you haven't."

"I have."

"I believe you. But if you didn't it's okay."

"Stop saying that shit," Kurt snapped suddenly and I flinched. I hated it when he snapped at me but I could see how tight he was clenching his jaw and the could almost feel the lump in his throat. He was trying to be strong and I applauded him for that, but his facade was crumbling. I could see it in the trembling on his lip, the way his hands were clenched, the way his eyes were

glistening.

"It's okay if you haven't," I whispered.

For a long time after that Kurt was quiet and I simple sat there in his lap watching as he did his best not to crumble. It ended up being a losing battle though when he broke and his chest heaved in a pain stricken sob. I pulled him into me then, my own cheeks wet with tears, and tried my hardest to comfort him as his shoulders shook and he finally let out all the pain he'd been trying to contain since Colt left.

"Why?" he cried, "why couldn't they love me? Why couldn't they be there for me?"

I wanted to answer but I couldn't do anything but cry with him, cry for him.

Because no matter how many times he repeated his question, I didn't know who he was talking about.

His father, his mother or Cody.

 **A/N: And now you guys know some Kurt's back story! Don't forget to comment, ask, review! Love y'all xo**


	40. Chapter 39

**Blaine's POV**

"You have to see the irony in this don't you?" Rachel grumbled as she slid her hands

beneath my arm and helped me up. I slid in through the window and grunted as I fell down onto the carpeted floor with a grunt, my thin arms sore already. Clearly, I was not one for athletics and upper body strength.

Rachel shut the window back and I barely had enough time to sit up before a little head was tackling me. "Blaine Blaine Blaine!" Cooper squealed, wrapping his arms around my neck and clinging to me happily. I was tired as hell after breaking into my own house, but he put a smile on my face immediately and I hugged him back just as tight, kissing him all over her pudgy little cheeks.

"Blaine I miss you! You make mommy sad but I told her you be back and I was right! Where you go? And why you leave me stupid head?" Cooper pouted, pinching my cheeks as punishment. I chuckled and kissed him again, pulling him into my lap and leaning back against the wall across from Rachel's bed.

"I had to go for a while but you're right, I did come back to see you. You been taking care of the house for me?"

"Yup! I'm the boss!" he grinned widely, his little teeth shining.

"Thats what I'm talking about! Listen will you do me a favor and go play in your room for a little bit? I'm gonna come see you in a minute but I've gotta talk to Rachel about some big kid stuff first alright?"

"But Blaiiiineeeee. I'm a big boy too," he whined and I almost broke. Bless his and his damn puppy dog eyes.

"I know you are, we'll talk about the big big kid stuff later. Is that alright?" With a hesitant pout, Cooper looked between the two of us before giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek and rushing out.

When se was gone I looked at Rachel and gave her a soft smile, honestly happy to see her. I knew she was pissed at me for leaving and I knew she was pissed at me for not responding to her text or calls, but I also knew she of all people understood me. Which is exactly why the glare she was sending my way didn't last long.

"You're an ass," she chuckled. She pushed her hair behind her neck and tied it up into a sloppy bun before sitting criss cross applesauce and patting the spot next to her on the bed. I climbed up and sat across from her and she smiled, pulling me into a tight hug.

"I wish you could come back. When I had fantasies of sneaking boys into my room through the window, my brother wasn't really the boy I was imagining..."

"First of all, ew. Don't put that thought in my head. And second of all, you know me Rachel, I'll come back eventually I just need...I needed some space."

Rachel released me form the hug and nodded in understanding. She reached beneath the bed and pulled out a large duffle bag I had asked her to pack for me and I smiled sadly. If you would have asked me a few months ago I never would have thought I'd be a runaway but, here I was. Sneaking into my sister window to get a bag of my things she'd packed for me.

"Thanks Rachel."

"It's fine Blaine. Mom told me what you said when you left, how you felt like she forced you into being dad, and I can't say I did much to help. I kinda relied on you too."

"Look I hope you don't think I didn't want you guys to rely on me I just..."

"You just want your life back. I get it." Rachel looked down and I couldn't help but swallow the guilt I felt in my throat. I did want my life back, but not at the cost of loosing my family. The fact of the matter was no matter how often I complained about Rachel or my mom or anyone, at the end of the day they were still my family and it's not like I could just turn off how I felt for them.

I just needed a break though. I needed to work me out before I could focus on anyone else.

"So," Rachel said, clearing her throat after the awkward silence that had filled the room, "Whats it like living with the steamy boyfriend Kurt? You guys must be going at it like rabbits huh?"

"It disgust me that you can imagine your own brother doing that."

"It's really more of Kurt that I'm picturing if were gonna be honest."

"I don't even think I can be mad at you for that."

We both laughed softly and I was grateful for the carefree conversation with my sister. It really was amazing how good it felt to just be able to...relax.

"But um, to be honest, Kurt still doesn't know I'm technically homeless. I was gonna tell him tonight but um...well something came up."

"Like what?"

With a sigh, I fell back against Rachel's bed and we slipped into the old days when we were kids. I would come in her room after dad tucked us in at night and we would talk until we couldn't anymore. I'd tell her stories about my friends, she'd tell me stories about the guys she liked. It was funny now that our roles were switched, but it didn't make our 'twin-time' as she called it any less real for us.

"Wow," Rachel mumbled once I was done. "So is that why you're back? Because you didn't want to be like Cody?"

"Partially. I never want you or Cooper to think I left because you guys were baggage to me. Or that when I do leave it won't be years until you guys see me again. I need a break but thats all, a break. Not years, I love you guys too much for that. But um, besides that, Cody came back and I just wanted to give them the time they needed. If I was there I knew Kurt would just use me as an excuse to ignore his brother."

"Aren't you worried they'll try and kill each other or something? Clearly Kurt isn't afraid of fighting..."

"No he definitely isn't," I chuckled, "but maybe thats what they need."

"To beat each others asses?"

"No idiot, to...well yeah."

Rachel and I both laughed again and I couldn't help but picture Kurt and Cody fighting and, sue me for being a hormonal teenage boy, but that was a hot image right there.

My phone beeped and I pulled it out to see a text

 _From: Puck_

 _"Tana told me. I'm outside your house when you're ready to go. Like hell you're gonna be homeless."_

Rachel leaned over my shoulder and saw the text before groaning and flopping down next to me. "Maybe I should run away too. Clearly it means I get to live with hot guys."

"What?! You think Puck is hot?!"

"Blaine anybody with functioning eyes can see that all of your friends are hot."

I laughed.

That was so true. Even goofy Sam was attractive as hell.

"Well whatever happened to your dance guy you liked? The one with a girlfriend?"

"Um, exactly that. I'm not gonna like a guy with a girlfriend Blaine. Thats like a set up for failure."

"Oh my god I'm setting you up with Puck."

"What?! Blaine no! Puck and I have what in common? He's all big and bad and...himself. And then I'm just...bleh."

"Okay first of all you are not 'bleh' and Puck is a sweetheart. I mean he's not the type to be all sensitive and shit but if your his friend he'll be there for you. I approve therefore I'm doing it." Smiling, I stood up and grabbed my bag before slinging it over my shoulder. I was heading for the window when I remembered I promised Cooper I'd speak to him before I left. He was probably asleep by now anyway, but I was still going to say goodnight at least.

"Blaine you have to be the most embarrassing person I know."

"But you love me anyway."

Rachel rolled her eyes and I smiled and hugged her goodbye quickly, promising that I would see her in school tomorrow. I said goodnight to Cooper next like I promised before sneaking back out the house and rushing down the driveway to Puck's truck that was parked a few houses down on the opposite side of the street. I tossed my bag in the bed before pulling open the passenger door only to stop dead in my tracks when, sitting in what I thought was my seat, was Kurt. Puck was driving and gave me a guilty smile and Tana, Sam, and Britt were all in the backseat, Tana giving me the same guilty smile while Sam and Brittany looked ready for a show.

Swallowing, I sent Tana a glare before smiling sheepishly at Kurt, who didn't seem impressed.

"Um...hey babe."

"Yeah, whatever. Get in the car Blaine. Clearly we need to discuss our communication skills."

"A-Am I in trouble?"

"Lots."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading and keeping up with my cray au. Almost 40 chapters and far from the end. Don't forget to ask, comment, review or something. Love y'all.**


	41. Chapter 40

**Blaine's POV**

"Stop moving."

"I ain't never moved."

"Puck you just yawned for christ sakes!"

"Well why the hell couldn't you just take a picture and draw that? I'm loosing feeling in my ass Blaine and thats a precious thing."

Chuckling, I pressed the tip of my pencil to the paper and shaded in the outline of Puck's eyes, which were currently slit into a glare as he tried to avoid looking directly at the sun. While Kurt wasn't super excited about posing as my model for the day, there was no one else around to keep me company and I was itching to draw something.

Art was like my drug and with everything going on lately I'd hardly had time to do anything...well normal.

After Kurt found out I'd basically run away from home needless to say he made me stay with him immediately. Anything I forgot the night I left we got then and now I was a temporary resident in the Hummel household basement with _*squeal_ * my boyfriend. It was a little awkward at first if I was gonna be be honest. Kurt was still trying to get back on good terms with his brother who seemed to be staying for a while hopefully, his father was just ignoring us, which i felt relieving he is a very scary and big man. he was after he assumed straight son not only introduced me as a close friend - but his boyfriend as well, and Kurt had been suspended from school for three days after fighting with Jackson, a guy I still wasn't allowed to talk to.

So things were different yeah, but there were some moments when I got a chance to breathe and just be a teenager again. Which is exactly what I was doing now.

"Okay, done."

With a groan, Puck relaxed his shoulders and stretched out his legs as if he'd been sitting in the most uncomfortable position ever.

Both Kurt and Tana had to work today and, while me and Puck were off, we'd come up to the job just to hang out because we were bored. We'd been inside messing around originally but then Puck came outside to smoke and there was just something about the lighting and the way he was sitting the drove my artistic side wild.

"Damn Blaine," Puck mumbled as he looked over my shoulder at the sketch, "I forgot how good you are."

Smiling, I looked down at my artwork and couldn't help but agree.

In the drawing Puck was sitting on a bench with his legs crossed at the ankles, one arm draped over the back of the bench, and another holding onto the cigarette he had in the corner of his mouth and I captured the little wisp he had blowing in the wind as well. It was small seeing as I only had notebook paper to draw it on, but it was nice and something I was proud of.

"Babe, you ready to go?" I heard behind me and looked up to see Kurt coming out looking just as devilishly handsome as usual. He wore ripped tight jeans and had swapped out his work shirt for a burgandy hoodie to fight the oncoming fall wind. God I was one lucky boy.

"Thats nice," he mumbled, pointing to the picture Puck was now folding up to slide into his jacket pocket.

"Thanks."

"Alright well I'll see you newlyweds later. I promised Tana I'd buy her food later and she doesn't get off for another two hours."

"You sure you don't just wanna come over?"

"And watch you guys makeout and be way too in love? Nah, I'm good." Puck smiled and Kurt rolled his eyes while I blushed.

Newlyweds, was the new nickname given to us by the gang and while I blushed like a tamato and denied we were any worse than Brittany and Sam, everyone else seemed to disagree. It's not like Kurt helped to prove them wrong anyway. Now that he was open to everyone including his family at home, there was no stopping his constant affection.

Not that I wanted to.

After saying bye to everyone Kurt and I drove around town for a while before we found this hole in the wall burger place we really liked. We had lunch and talked about his day at work, my day at school, and how things were going with his brother.

"So he still hasn't told you why he left?"

"Nope," Kurt said, dipping a fry into some honey mustard and taking a bite. "He just keeps saying I shouldn't worry about it and he'll explain when he's ready. My dad is physched that he's back and the fact that he's not wondering where he went or why makes me think he knows."

"Well whatever the reason I'm sure it was important. From what I can tell he doesn't seem like the type who would leave his family over nothing."

"Yeah, well, who knows."

We finished eating with conversation that was a little less tense before going for ice cream and then finally heading home. Kurt was still suspended so he didn't have to worry about homework but I on the other hand did. So, I did homework and showered and got ready for the day and then met Kurt beneath the covers of what was now our bed when we were both tired and ready for sleep.

Only sleep never came.

Instead, I felt something warm on my back and shivered softly as Kurt's hands slid around my waist to the front of my bare chest. I moved to say his name and my breath was taken from me as he kissed up the length of my back, his breath hot as it moved further up until it was fanning my neck. With a soft whimper I rolled over onto my back and Kurt hovered over me, smiling as he moved his lips down my neck and kissed me sweetly. His pecks got hotter and soon I could feel his tongue on my skin and his teeth were nipping at my collar bone.

"Kurt.." I breathed, my finger knotting into his hair as I pulled him closer into me. He bit down on the spot just beneath my nipple and my back arched into him as I moaned.

"Shh, go to sleep baby," Kurt whispered and I fought the urge to punch him in his chest. We both wore nothing but gym shorts and the heat I was feeling from our skin touching so intimately was driving me insane. I could feel his erection poking into my thigh and could only mewl as his hand brushed over my own. The jerk. He knew I wasn't gonna be able to sleep now. Not until I had some sort of satisfaction.

"Shut up."

Wrapping my legs around his hips and tugging on his hair, our position changed quickly as I shifted my weight into rolling us over so that I was on top. Kurt grinned and I was quick to devour that very grin as I smashed our lips together. The room heated up as the mood shifted from Kurt's sweet teasing and caresses to hurried, sloppy kisses and hands in all the right places.

"Kurt," I moaned as his hand snaked it's way inside my shorts to grab my attentive private. He rolled me onto my side and I could only moan and arch into him as he stroked me passionately.

"Me too," he groaned, thrusting his boner into my side. I was quick to capture his mouth in another kiss as I slipped my hand inside his shorts, his moan making me leak. Soon we were pulling each other into a sweet bliss as our bodies shook and my breath escaped me in yet another moan as Kurt bit down on my bottom lip, his hand tightening around my still leaking shaft. When we were tired and coming down from our high, Kurt curled into my side and closed his eyes, his lips brushing mine.

"Now you can sleep," he whispered and I smiled as I curled into him.

This was my life now.

This was my new normal.

 **A/N: So I know I haven't updated in forever, but guess what? I'm back on a computer and chapters should come more frequently. I know nothing big happened in this chapter but it was meant to be a filler anyway, trust and assured, the drama will be picking back up soon enough. Don't forget to review, ask, comment or just say hi all your sayings light my my day. Love y'all. Thanks for staying.**


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